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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these people are being reckless with their health?

102 replies

Kaylasmum49 · 12/12/2017 09:43

After a conversation at work about bowel screening i'm shocked at the amount of people who don't participate in this. Also there are some that don't have any of the screening tests that are offered.

Aibu to think that they are being reckless and even quite selfish, especially if there are children to consider?

OP posts:
grannytomine · 12/12/2017 10:16

I have several near relatives who have had bowel cancer, some died, I was more than happy to do the test and delighted to get the all clear.

stickytoffeevodka · 12/12/2017 10:16

*We're very fortunate in this country with our N.H.S. - even in its current state. I consider it a privilege to be offered regular bowel, breast and cervical screening. I have a G.P., dentist and dental hygienist. I hope to keep myself as physically and mentally healthy as possible, so that I can spend as much quality time with my Granddaughter (and any other Grandchildren of the future) as I can.
I don't enjoy having the tests done - couple of them are a bit uncomfortable - they don't last long! *

I couldn't agree more. We're so lucky to have (for now) free healthcare with free cancer screenings for a lot of people. Do I enjoy going for smears? Of course not. And I can't imagine many men enjoy prostate exams either, but I'd rather be uncomfortable for five minutes than end up with an advanced cancer diagnosis that kills me.

Of course screening isn't foolproof and not all cancers are caught or can be screened for, but wouldn't you want do anything possible to prevent it? When it comes to cancer, I'm afraid I don't get the attitude of "it's too much hassle".

stickytoffeevodka · 12/12/2017 10:17

We're very fortunate in this country with our N.H.S. - even in its current state. I consider it a privilege to be offered regular bowel, breast and cervical screening. I have a G.P., dentist and dental hygienist. I hope to keep myself as physically and mentally healthy as possible, so that I can spend as much quality time with my Granddaughter (and any other Grandchildren of the future) as I can.
I don't enjoy having the tests done - couple of them are a bit uncomfortable - they don't last long!

I couldn't agree more. We're so lucky to have (for now) free healthcare with free cancer screenings for a lot of people. Do I enjoy going for smears? Of course not. And I can't imagine many men enjoy prostate exams either, but I'd rather be uncomfortable for five minutes than end up with an advanced cancer diagnosis that kills me.

Of course screening isn't foolproof and not all cancers are caught or can be screened for, but wouldn't you want do anything possible to prevent it? When it comes to cancer, I'm afraid I don't get the attitude of "it's too much hassle".

Mintychoc1 · 12/12/2017 10:17

Raving Christmas must be hell for you, trying to find a post box!!

As a GP I've watched many people die from diseases that could have been cured if they'd been picked up early. Lots of people opt out of screening - I think it's a type of attitude, more than genuine obstructions to accessing screening. Some people want to bury their heads in the sand.

I remember seeing a lady with a malignant breast tumour that had eroded through the skin and was soaking pus through her clothes. When she had a pus-soaked shirt in a business meeting she finally felt ready to see a doctor. It was very sad. Obviously she'd known for months, possibly years, that she had cancer, but she couldn't face the reality of it.

It baffles me though. Seeing the horror of people dying and the devastating effect on family of terminal illnesses, makes me determined to do whatever I can to stay healthy.

BrizzleDrizzle · 12/12/2017 10:17

Of course. But when you have children, you have a responsibility to stay healthy for them. Better a false positive than the cancer being missed until it's too late.

By that reckoning, you presumably do the recommended amount of exercise a week, eat only healthy food, don't drink and don't smoke and don't eat carcinogenic foods like processed meats?

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 12/12/2017 10:18

Curryforbreakfast,
I'm in Scotland so the screening starts at 50. There are a couple of people at my work who are late 50's early 60's who admitted that they never do their bowel screening. I've also spoken to a few other people who don't do it either.

People in their 50's can have children, my youngest kids are 14 and 10, i'm 51!

It's not really any of my business but i'm surprised at the number of people who refuse to take part in health screening.

OP posts:
ragged · 12/12/2017 10:20

My adult kids will have the right to make their own choices, too. Even if one of those choices leads them into physical danger. I'm not going to emotionally blackmail them about their choices.

stickytoffeevodka · 12/12/2017 10:22

By that reckoning, you presumably do the recommended amount of exercise a week, eat only healthy food, don't drink and don't smoke and don't eat carcinogenic foods like processed meats?

I do my best, yes. Nobody's perfect and I don't believe there's any such thing as a perfectly healthy lifestyle, but I think when you have dependents you owe it to them to be as healthy as possible. Of course you can still get cancer having exercised daily, never eaten red meat and never touched a cigarette or smoked, which is where the screenings come in.

I went through suspected cervical/ovarian cancer earlier this year. I wasn't old - 28 years old and no children. Luckily I got the all-clear on both counts, but if I hadn't, those tests would have potentially saved my life.

curryforbreakfast · 12/12/2017 10:24

Do the people you are talking about, in their late 50's and early 60's, have minor children?

Peoples arses are their own affair, I'm surprised you would bring it up in work. It's inappropriate.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 12/12/2017 10:29

It's a shame people don't take the test. A lot of it is due to embarrassment.

I'm 26 so obviously the screening programme wouldn't have helped me. But I wouldn't wish bowel cancer on anyone, and I do struggle to understand why anyone would risk it when the test is so simple and non-invasive.

There is a possibility of a false positive, but the next step would be a colonoscopy, which would then show that there was no cancer. It's not like some other screening programmes which might result in unnecessary cancer treatment.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 12/12/2017 10:32

I didn't bring the subject up!

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 12/12/2017 10:34

DH declined the testing and, while I don't necessarily agree with it, it's his body and his choice in the same way that I declined the over 40s screening offered by my GP.

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 12/12/2017 10:39

Pink,

What were his reasons for declining the test?

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 12/12/2017 10:40

I am one of 'these people' who periodically get sent bumpf to do a bowel screening test and have never done one. Someone save us from those who assume they know what's best for other people. Worry about yourself.

NameChanger22 · 12/12/2017 10:41

Are people who drive cars reckless? Are you reckless if you do a dangerous sport? Are you reckless if you cross the road? Life has risks.

This is the first time I've even heard of bowel screening. How did people live before the barrage of new stuff we all need to worry about? By the way, worrying and stress can also cause death.

implantsandaDyson · 12/12/2017 10:44

My parents both participated in the bowel screening stool test - it didn’t pick up the bowel cancer that my dad was treated for less than six months after he got the “ all clear” test. I find that people rely on these sorts of tests to put their minds at rest, regardless of their symptoms.

welshweasel · 12/12/2017 10:44

I have no issue with people opting out of bowel cancer screening so long as they also opt out of any NHS treatment for bowel cancer that may be found in the future. I regularly see patients who present with bowel obstruction from previously asymptomatic bowel cancers, who end up having emergency surgery, a stoma and a poor prognosis due to metastatic disease. Some of those would have been picked up years earlier by the bowel screening programme and treated with a straightforward elective operation that would cure them.

Ecureuil · 12/12/2017 10:45

Unless you live very very rurally, how the hell is taking a couple of hours to go to hospital quicker than wiping your bum and putting the sample in a post box?!

Original poster
Kaylasmum49 · 12/12/2017 10:45

Namechanger,

People driving and doing sports is a different thing entirely. You have to live!

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 12/12/2017 10:47

I'm invested in my family's health and don't preach to others

curryforbreakfast · 12/12/2017 10:48

I have no issue with people opting out of bowel cancer screening so long as they also opt out of any NHS treatment for bowel cancer that may be found in the future

Fortunately the rest of us are not such health fascists, and we don't sentence people to a untreated painful death because they didn't take a test that may not have helped them anyway Hmm

stickytoffeevodka · 12/12/2017 10:50

How did people live before the barrage of new stuff we all need to worry about? By the way, worrying and stress can also cause death.

I'm not remotely worried or stressed about it Confused

People died a lot younger, and of many diseases and illnesses that are now curable/manageable in modern society. We're very lucky to live in a country that offers free screenings for cancer, and that can treat illnesses that used to kill people.

I'm not personally concerned if other people don't want to take up that offer. It's not my life or health, so they can do what they want. Their choice. I personally don't understand it, though. Cancer is horrific - I don't get why you wouldn't want to be screened and potentially be saved a death from cancer if it all possible.

Spam88 · 12/12/2017 10:51

It's entirely up to individuals whether they choose to take up any screening that they're offered. Screening programs aren't perfect, and there are negatives as well as positives, and it's for each individual to decide for themselves whether the benefits outweigh the negatives for them.

That being said, I do get annoyed when men get all 'I'm not wiping my poo on a bit of card!' given the invasive screening that women have done.

grannytomine · 12/12/2017 10:52

How did people live before the barrage of new stuff we all need to worry about? Well if my granny, her sister and three of her daughters are anything to go by they died in agony. It would have been wonderful if they had been screened and treated early enough to save them from that. We all have to die of something but from my observations bowel cancer wouldn't be my choice.

ragged · 12/12/2017 10:54

By that logic almost all sedentary or obese people should be opted out of many treatments, too. They chose to let sedentary lifestyle or obesity happen, after all. Those are big risk factors for many bad conditions.

I would be less sympathetic with someone who opted out of screening & then got hysterical when they got cancer later. Because I believe in living with our decisions. "Less sympathy" means sincere emotional response to their extreme distress, though, not whether they deserve best treatment or not.