Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask what happens when you die?

433 replies

TeaAndAMarmiteSandwhich · 11/12/2017 22:58

... or more accurately, what you think happens?

I really really don't want to die (a good thing I guess! As I wasn't too bothered either way as a moody teen, but now I love life most of the time and want to hang around).

It's comforting to think there's a heaven, but I don't believe there is (and I'd probably get bored if I had to stay there for EVER). But when u die - is that it? Game over ? I'm not too keen on that idea either.

What do you think happens? and what would you like to think happens? Hmm

OP posts:
JosieJasper · 13/12/2017 19:33

I believe that's it when you die. I don't believe in angels or ghosts, as much as I would love to. I don't believe these people who claim to speak to those that have died (just making money from distressed/vulnerable people in my opinion) As for cremation, if you're dead then I guess you won't know anything and anyway, if you did, surely being buried would be very claustrophobic! Hmm

liz70 · 13/12/2017 19:35

"I don't like the thought of loved ones watching me on the loo, or doing other 'intimate' things"

That reminds me of one night a few years ago. It was about 12.30 a.m. Christmas morning and DH and I were in bed about to get down some marital relations. I was lying on my back with my eyes shut (my DH is not a deformed monster, honest). Anyway, suddenly there was an immensely bright orange light in front of my closed eyelids. I opened my eyes to be met with the light in our floor lamp turned up to max brightness - it has a dimmer knob that had been turned from off to full. The bulb in it was particularly bright as it was a shopping delivery sub that was a third more powerful than the one I 'd ordered, but I'd accepted it as I had no intention of ever turning it up to full. However someone had other ideas. Grin I know it was just xxxx (the person in spirit mentioned previously) doing a It's CHRISTMAAAAS! number on us so I wasn't freaked out (you get used to this stuff over the years). Just turned the lamp back off and got back on with what we were doing. Grin

I really wouldn't get bothered about the idea of people in spirit seeing us on the loo or shagging or whatever. They no longer have physical desires or sexual feelings - those are things of the mortal body so irrelevant now. It's no different from, say, a bird seeing you through the window. It's just not significant.

Lovingit81 · 13/12/2017 19:38

I'm shocked at how little faith there is in the mumsnet community! I don't believe there is nothing, I believe (and feel sure) there is more. I don't think it's possible to understand on this life what 'that' is. I think we should focus on living and have faith in more. There is no way that it will be the end.

liz70 · 13/12/2017 19:42

"As for cremation, if you're dead then I guess you won't know anything and anyway, if you did, surely being buried would be very claustrophobic!"

The soul has left the physical body after death. It has no need of it any more - it was a vehicle that housed the soul while it experienced a temporary, mortal human "life", before the soul returned to its original spirit form. So talk of claustrophobia, etc. is irrelevant. You are not your body; you are simply - temporarily - in your body.

JosieJasper · 13/12/2017 19:46

In your opinion liz70. I'm afraid my opinion differs. It was just a tongue in cheek comment about being buried as someone had mentioned not liking the idea of cremation.

liz70 · 13/12/2017 20:16

A conclusion drawn from over a decade of direct, personal experience, not simply belief. But whatever.

JosieJasper · 13/12/2017 20:26

I'm allowed an opinion due to my own life experiences too and also a lack of scientific evidence proving otherwise. Not sure the "whatever" was necessary either Confused

Albadross · 13/12/2017 20:38

I am hounded by the thought of death - the idea that all I have is this one bit window of conscious and that I will never know what happens after haunts me. I just can't come to terms with it at all. Sad

Albadross · 13/12/2017 20:40

And worse still knowing that some get a short life full of pain and suffering and die never having lived at all. Sorry all, I failed an exam yesterday so I'm feeling particularly negative .

s4nha · 13/12/2017 20:55

Some live a really bad life then die. If you are one of the few who likes life then make the most of it. I saw my son and daughter come to the world, my wife laughing in her white wedding dress whilst the local Greeks bibbed their horns, shook her and kissed her on cheek on our wedding day. The day I leave this world I will savour how lucky I was, we are all going to die, including the stars and planets, be thankful for what you have now.

Lashalicious · 13/12/2017 20:59

I believe in heaven. To me, life makes sense only if all the people who have lived previously continue to live after this earthly life; that there is a heaven and eternity, and that “things work out in the end” and there will be answers to our questions, as in, why were the stakes so high and so unfair? That there is indeed justice and mercy, purpose and meaning beyond the short years on earth, and that somehow everything is used for our good, even the awful stuff. A logic behind it all. That someday we will see and understand and say “ah...yes, of course!”

Albadross’s post spoke to me, I can relate. There are many questions such as those for sure.

I just finished a book by Dr. Mary Neal, a spine surgeon, about her near death experience. Her 2nd book goes into the scientific and medical details of death and is very interesting.

Alidoll · 13/12/2017 21:09

I guess everyone becomes someone or something else (at atomic particle level anyway!) at some point so who knows, I’d rather like to be a dolphin (mainly because I swim like a brick at the moment so would be fun leaping out the water just for the hell of it).

Albadross · 13/12/2017 21:12

@Lashalicious I hope you're right - I'm somewhat nihilistic but it's miserable!

liz70 · 13/12/2017 21:32

"Not sure the "whatever" was necessary either"

I apologise; that was snappish and churlish of me.

There is no scientific evidence because the instruments and technology available to humans aren't capable of detecting spirit energy and discarnate consciousness. Those demanding scientific proof will inevitably be left waiting for this reason.

Ijustlovefood · 13/12/2017 21:37

vitaology please can you elaborate on your experience?

buttercupmeadow · 13/12/2017 21:46

I've read quite a lot of books about people who "died" but then came back because it wasn't their time. Quite a few talk about how their whole life was laid out before them in like a picture book form, and how they'd be made aware of all the people they'd hurt and it was shown how it made them feel, Nearly all say they didn't want to "come back", but they had to because it "wasn't the their time yet"....they felt blissfully happy and whole. They practically all say it's made them unafraid of death and that they know we are only here to learn and our "real life" is after we die. Smile

liz70 · 13/12/2017 21:50

Hi Albadross, based on my personal experience of adc with the person mentioned in my posts - and I've no reason to believe that this person differs from anyone else who has passed over to spirit - after mortal death people in spirit form are still able to see, hear, and respond to a still mortal human who speaks to them, even share a joke with them (another direct experience I've had, one that particularly cracked me up). The only difference between living humans and people in spirit is the physical body.

JosieJasper · 13/12/2017 21:53

Thank you liz70, apology accepted.

hungryhippo90 · 13/12/2017 21:59

You go to sleep, it's just that you don't wake up, quite sad to think that our "go" at life can really be so short.

Glosgran · 13/12/2017 22:02

Someone (author unknown) has described it like this:

Once upon a time, twin boys were conceived in the same womb. Seconds, minutes, hours passed as the two dormant lives developed. The spark of life glowed until it fanned fire with the formation of their embryonic brains. With their simple brains came feeling and with feeling perception; a perception of surroundings, of each other, of self.

When they perceived the life of each other and their own life, they knew that life was good and they laughed and rejoiced: the one saying, 'Lucky are we to have been conceived and to have this world'; and the other chiming, 'Blessed be the mother who gave us this life and each other.'

Each budded and grew arms and fingers, lean legs and stubby toes. They stretched their lungs, churned, and turned in their new-found world. They explored their world and in it found the life cord which gave them life from the precious mother's blood. So they sang, 'How great is the love of the mother that she shares all that she has with us.' And they were pleased and satisfied with their lot.

Weeks passed into months and with the advent of each new month they noticed a change in each other and each began to see change in himself. 'We are changing,' said the one. 'What can it mean?' 'It means,' replied the other, that we are drawing near to birth.'

An unsettling chill crept over the two and they both feared, for they knew that birth meant leaving their entire world behind.

Said the one, 'Were it up to me, I would live here forever.'

'We must be born,' said the other, 'It has happened to all others who were here.' For indeed there was evidence of life there before as the mother had borne others.

'But mightn't there be a life after birth?'

'How can there be life after birth?' cried the one. 'Do we not shed our life cord and also the blood tissues? And have you ever talked to one that has been born? Has anyone ever re-entered the womb after birth? No.'

He fell into despair and in his despair he moaned, 'If the purpose of conception and all our growth is that it be ended in birth, then truly our life is absurd.' Resigned to despair, the one stabbed the darkness with his unseeing eyes and as he clutched his precious life cord to his chest said, 'If this is so, and life is absurd, then there really can be no mother.'

'But there is a mother,' protested the other 'who else gave us nourishment and our world?'
'We get our own nourishment, and our world has always been here. And if there is a mother, where is she? Have you ever seen her? Does she ever talk to you? No. We invented mothers because it satisfied a need in us. It made us feel secure and happy.'

Within a short time the twins, one surprised, the other with a relieved twinkle in his eyes, entered a new stage of life, in the arms of their mother.

Nine months or three score years and ten - each is a short time - a time of preparation for the world beyond which is wider, richer and more wonderful than we can imagine.

Author unknown

Frustrationqueen · 13/12/2017 22:13

Wow glosgran i loved that.
Its a great way to explain what i believe.
Thank you for sharing

keffie12 · 13/12/2017 22:15

I have a belief system! I don't believe that is it when we pass. I believe all entwines and you can learn through all types of faiths and belief systems. One day we will all find out. In the meantime enjoy life, be true to yourself, help others a long the way, be kind and laugh alot too

buttercupmeadow · 13/12/2017 22:43

glosgran that's lovely, i think like that but would struggle to put it into words.

Just as we have no memory of our time in heaven in previous lives, i can imagine people up there saying something like "there's this place called earth where we can choose to go if we wish, it's to learn lessons or something, and we'd be born to a "mother" but it sounds too far fetched, i don't believe it".
But your story was much better. Smile

Grilledaubergines · 13/12/2017 22:55

I’m terrified of dying. Actually, not death so much as the sadness it will cause my DC. The idea that they will grieve for me breaks my heart. I’ve often thought if I could make them hate me at the end then the process would be much easier for them in a kind of ‘ding dong the witch is dead’ way. I like to think, when I can cope with the thought if it, that I will see loved ones past. It makes it more bearable. If I do and there is afterlife, then great and if not, we’ll i won’t be able to share that nugget of information anyway.

Vitalogy · 13/12/2017 23:02

@Ijustlovefood I think my whole life led up to it, but the last lot of grief I went through was the catalyst, I suppose my ego dropped away somewhat and I became more open. Reading and listening to teachers helped me sort of "click" or "get it" so to speak, everything made sense to me, well, I haven't all the answers that's for sure but more than I had before. I can now sense in other's and the world around me that we're all connected.
I don't know if you watched the video I posted on page 5, Alan Watts narrating is more articulate than me, that's how I feel about things. Previously I'd been an atheist, then an agnostic, spiritual is the way I describe myself now, not religious though, although a lot of the religions have the essence of truth in them, they can be a barrier and a hindrance to people, not always of course.

Swipe left for the next trending thread