To think this isn't unreasonable

[user1471558723]

A member of our extended family, who owns a holiday cottage, has invited my family and my sisters family to stay over Christmas in her holiday cottage. Of course we were delighted to accept as all three families will be able to spend Christmas together.
The friend has just mentioned that she will expect us to pay £100 per week for cleaning and laundry services and to pay something towards heat and lighting. I am very happy to do this but my sister is appalled. She thinks you do not charge family to be ones guests. Is she being unreasonable?

OP, please don't pay for your sister!

She is cheeky expecting you to sub her at YOUR in laws.

Your aunt (I picked a relation) is used to the property providing income, it's a business for her. It's not her home. She is charging for facilities.
It's not good enough to let at present but it is good enough for family.

So there's going to be an atmosphere - are you sure you really want to go?

If she uses an agency for renting our her cottage, she may well have a fixed fee. Then there are the utility bills, council tax etc that all have to be paid for out of rent. To be honest, your in laws should have made their expectations clear before issuing the invitation, but your sister either needs to accept the arrangement or she needs to turn down the invitation. You will not enjoy Christmas if your sister comes but begrudges paying.

If I had a car and you borrowed it for a long trip, I would not expect to pay for the petrol and the parking charges, too.

I think this is similar. The distant relative is offering the cottage rent-free. But the running costs - heat, cleaning and laundry - should be paid by those who are borrowing it.

Your sister is being a bit U in baulking at this.

Your sister is BVVU.

What was she thinking of giving your family-member as a thank-you gift for the free use of the holiday cottage? A box of Malteezers?

It's so easy for your sister to sit there and say you shouldn't charge family, how many times has she given her house to family and just sucked up the cost of the utilities and deep-cleaned up after them herself?

You've been gifted full use of a cottage over xmas, of course you should pay for utilities and cleaning afterwards. Willingly and give the owner a lovely thank-you gift too.

She has asked for £100 each and whatever heating costs are. I am very happy to pay that and I shall pay my sisters share too. As I said it rankles a bit that my sister is being awkward. I think our host is being very generous to invite us to stay, I shall do most of the catering as a gesture of good will. Thank you for all the advice.

Sounds like an expensive week for you, OP! And also sounding less 'generous' by the minute. £200 for cleaning, £x for heating and the cost and work of catering for 3 families. That's a 'no' from me, I'd rather stay at home!

Cringing for your sister. Is she very young, or has never paid for a self catering holiday? She sounds clueless.

for people who thinks its expensive £200 for linen, cleaning and utilities would not be be unexpected. Holiday lets have expensive running costs!

sounding less 'generous' by the minute. £200 for cleaning, £x for heating and the cost and work of catering for 3 families.

Yes, I agree. It still sounds like a cheap holiday, but not like a family member inviting you as their guest, IYSWIM. So I suppose it depends what kind of 'offer' you think it is or are happy for it to be.

She has asked for £100 each and whatever heating costs are. I am very happy to pay that and I shall pay my sisters share too. As I said it rankles a bit that my sister is being awkward. I think our host is being very generous to invite us to stay, I shall do most of the catering as a gesture of good will.

I would stay at home and not stay there and cater for two families if my sister was too tight to pitch in.

Will the owner actually be there because if she is then actually I do think it’s a bit cheeky to charge for stuff and expect you to do all the catering?

I changed from earlier because £200 is a lot more than £100 - if the owner is there too then surely she should pay some of the cleaning costs or give you the option to bring your own sheets.

She couldn’t rent the place out anyway if there’s work being done so it’s not like she’s actually losing income.

I don't think you should pay your sister's share. And as for the owner of the cottage. If she can't rent it out anyway I don't think she should be charging any more than covering her costs. I might pay my share if I really wanted to go but certainly wouldn't pay somebody else's share.

The owner lives nearby and will be popping in each day.

£100 each? As in per family? Not per adult?

How is she calculating the heating? (Seems a bit odd. She should just factor that in to the charge? I don't disagree with her charging at all but am a bit as to how she is working out rent )

My parents have a holiday let business as part of their farm, but if there are unbooked weeks over winter then they will let friends/family know that they can use it for free, apart from cleaning costs which are £30 per stay, because those are usually built into the price of the let and otherwise they would be out of pocket.

We generate all our own electricity though so no costs in that respect.

£200 seems a bit steep to be honest.

I would expect to pay up to £100 per family if staying for free in a commercial let to cover utilities, linen, cleaning, wear and tear. Think people are confusing the set up with going to stay with Aunty jean for Christmas.