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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how a relationship can survive...

24 replies

Glowinginthedark · 11/12/2017 02:26

A partner who snores like a walrus and wakes you up every damn night Angry

OP posts:
TheHodgeHeg · 11/12/2017 02:28

Do ear plugs block out the noise? Whether it's insurmountable or not depends on whether he has redeeming features! If my partner suddenly started snoring I'd probably try and find a workable solution for us because I love him. If he'd always been a snorer I'd probably not have been so attracted to him in the first place..

Glowinginthedark · 11/12/2017 02:32

I love him to bits he's amazing but the snoring drives me insane! I guess I worry I won't hear the children in the night or sleep through my alarm if I have earplugs in.

OP posts:
Spartak · 11/12/2017 02:36

Earplugs and a Fitbit watch with vibrating alarm is the only way I haven't lost my sanity with paperthin walls and screaming babies in both houses either side of me.

frenchmonkeys · 11/12/2017 02:38

Guessing you're awake now because your partner is snoring...

Mine does too, and it's why I'm awake. If she's healthy, the snoring is much lighter and I have become accustomed to it and it no longer disturbs me. At the moment she's congested, and there's no ignoring it. There are various devices that help some, and there may be medical reasons for.snoring which should be investigated. Personally I used ro snore loud enough for the windows to shake (I saw embarrassing video evidence... ), but it reduced and then stopped completely when I lost weight (I mean a lot of weight).

If none of the above apply, try ear muffs, or move to the spare room when it's worst?

If you love him, I'm sure there are things you can do to insulate yourself.from it. If he loves you, I'm sure he will be willing to do whatever he can to reduce his snoring. Losing sleep constantly will affect your energy, health, and temperament, and certainly your relationship, so be positive about exploring the options to resolve it.

Glowinginthedark · 11/12/2017 02:38

That could be a solution @Spartak although it's so loud I'm wondering if I will still hear it through ear plugs!

OP posts:
Glowinginthedark · 11/12/2017 02:40

Thanks @french we will definitely be exploring the options!

OP posts:
zzzzz · 11/12/2017 03:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hullahoops · 11/12/2017 03:13

I am awake for that reason also. When we first met he didn't snore at all.... He's not put on 1.5stone and he snores like a walrus. He's just moved to the sofa because he doesn't want to keep me awake. Now I feel awful that he's down there (I'm 6 months pregnant)

I understand how you feel though, it is so draining

hullahoops · 11/12/2017 03:14

Now*

Parsleyisntfood · 11/12/2017 03:15

I fear for my ds. He’s very slight, definitely no weight issues and he has snored since the week he was born. He’s 7 now and I can hear him downstairs. Hoping he’s handsome with a winning personality because I dunno who else is going to put up with that!

Bowerbird5 · 11/12/2017 03:41

Can you sleep in separate rooms? We do now and it is bliss.i know several friends who do as well. He might have sleep apnoea.

bayseyan · 11/12/2017 05:32

Separate bedrooms.

I recently broke up with someone for refusing this. If you love someone it shouldn't be a problem that they want to sleep separately, if your snoring is keeping them awake.

I'd end any relationship that this was a problem in.

justilou1 · 11/12/2017 05:59

I wonder this myself EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT!!! (And like you adore the hell out of my husband.). Meanwhile, if he doesn't get his giant, flappy tonsils removed soon, I shall be doing it for him.

Gaudeamus · 11/12/2017 06:05

Might be worth him sleeping on the sofa or an airbed for a few nights to see if that makes a difference - a friend recently discovered an allergy to his bedding was causing sleep apnoeia.

AnUtterIdiot · 11/12/2017 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnUtterIdiot · 11/12/2017 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyamIBoredathome · 11/12/2017 09:17

My partner snores but it has reduced considerably since he stopped smoking, reduced drinking, and lost some weight.
My mother in law snores like a dragon, she wakes me from the floor below. FIL thinks he has insomnia, I personally think he is being woken by her relentless snoring. He deals with it by getting up and playing online poker.

jaseyraex · 11/12/2017 09:36

Losing weight is the only thing that really helps in most cases.

Tell that to my underweight husband!

OP, has your partner considered a trip to the GP? My DH gets some sort of nasal spray on prescription for snoring and it's helped massively. Not completely stopped but is a lot quieter and a lot less frequent. He's also on waiting list for sleep clinic in case of sleep apnea. May be worth a try for your partner.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 11/12/2017 10:18

Have you tried those nose strips? Worked on my DH and he was terrible.

user1andonly · 11/12/2017 10:25

Separate rooms.

If you have three bedrooms, put the children in together in the biggest room, perhaps? Or get a really good sofa bed and take turns who goes on that and who has the bed room?

I sleep separately from DH and it's great! We waited till a dc had moved out as, in our case, it was more minor stuff - opposite body clocks, he likes a warm room, I like it cold with the window open etc etc. If one of us had snored then we would have had to come up with a solution earlier.

Monoblock67 · 11/12/2017 10:50

100% try a dental mouth guard. They’re about a fiver on eBay, and you mould it at home yourself. It worked amazing well on my DH, who isn’t overweight, a drinker or a smoker but snores like a freight train. It saved my sanity, my sleep and quite possibly my marriage! It’s worth a shot-if it doesn’t work all you’ve lost is a fiver but if it works then you’ve got your life back.

Monoblock67 · 11/12/2017 10:54

Also to add-we bought one under advisement from an ENT consultant who reviewed DH. It doesn’t completely stop the snoring all the time but quietens it down to a completely tolerable level when he does snore, which is rare.

MumOfTwoooo · 11/12/2017 16:57

I would definitely try a mouth guard or nose strips first, he probably feels quite bad that your sleeping poorly because of him! Not that he can help it though! I would hate having to sleep away from my DH because of something like this

Nanna50 · 11/12/2017 19:14

Has he had investigations been to his GP or sleep clinic? Not everyone with sleep apnoea is overweight sometimes it's the shape of their throat, nose, palate etc. There are many sleep disorders and various treatments which can be tried.

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