To not travel in the snow?

[peachweach]

Friend and I are meant to be travelling to a big city tomorrow for the day, friend has taken the day off work which I appreciate and I'm on mat leave with a 3mo.

We have been hit by snow pretty hard where I live (quite rural), around a foot or so and we don't normally get anything like that so it's quite a lot for us! Friend lives in a bigger town with more main roads and though they also have had a lot of snow (and lots of car accidents reported today, plus a lorry accident after it slid down a hill) they do have more main roads, friend lives just off one so doesn't feel the affects as badly and is just a bit more practical and less of a worry wart than me. Our road is completely iced up.

The bus to said city that we are due to get tomorrow was completely cancelled today (about an hour journey to said city from friend's town) and the trains were very disrupted. Our county police have said to only travel if necessary. The snow has been falling all day and has only just stopped, we're still in a foot or so of snow here. For tomorrow DH has taken the day off work to look after our 3mo and I'm already nervous about leaving them as I haven't done a whole day away from baby yet which is probably silly but she was poorly at first and I've not felt ready for whole days apart yet, only a couple of afternoons and evenings out.

Anyway the plan for tomorrow is for DH to drive me to friend's town 30 mins away for us to get the bus to the city, but I'm nervous that it's going to snow more overnight and make our journey to friends town in the morning with our baby risky. I'm then worried for DHs journey back home if it's still snowing. I'm even more worried that if it snows whilst friend and I are still out that our bus back will be cancelled, then what if the trains stop etc? We're pretty bad for coming to a standstill here when it snows I'm already nervous leaving the baby without massive delays and hassle and after the day out I'll just want to get back to baby as soon as Friend has just got her and her boyfriend at home.

I'm then concerned that DH's journey back out to friend's town in the afternoon/evening to pick me up from the bus will be dangerous if the conditions are still bad, as it'll be getting dark and he'll have to bring baby out with him (we have no family up here and no one we know well enough in our village to leave baby with). This journey for DH and baby will be even worse if are delayed in the city as the later we get back the darker it will be, not ideal with icy and snowy conditions and a 3mo in the car!

The weather forecast has said to expect 4cm of snow in the city tomorrow which is what makes me worry, though it might not and if it doesn't then great! I might wake up tomorrow and it's all melted and all public transport is running fine which would be ideal, but I'm worried about if it's not and if it's bad like today as my friend is already being a bit funny with me when I told her my concerns, and I feel awful as I do want to go and I don't want her to waste a day off. I think I've just got anxious new mum syndrome which isn't really like me so I'm having trouble dealing with it!

AIBU to feel like this and be worried about the day and the potential weather? I just think it's so icy and cold I'd hate to have an accident or anything in the car and not be able to keep baby warm. I know the possibility of that is slim but is it worth the risk if the weather is still bad? Do I just need to chill? Apologies for waffling!

Also meant to say that I can't drive yet which is why DH offered to take me/get me from the bus. I really need to get on with learning but that's a whole new thread!

Oh can you do something that's closer to you both? That way her day off isn't wasted. Although if you don't want to go just don't go! I didn't leave my baby for more than a couple of hours until she was 6 months ish as I just didn't want to. Do what you feel comfortable with.

I would say that if the buses are running then go if your DH is happy to drive in it but make it clear that you're happy if he wants to cancel.

I don't drive either and generally have the rule that I trust the driver to make the decision but won't put any pressure on them.

I wouldn't go after skidding on black ice in January. It was terrifying! I know your friend will be upset but it's risky for something not essential.

DP and I tried to go out today and we couldn't push the pram at all and I defiantly wouldn't be risking walking with a baby in a sling while it's slippy out. I don't think YABU to bail !

Don't go. YNBU! You'll spend too much time worrying. Just tell your friend she should understand.
Also your baby is 3 months! That's still very little. I didn't leave mine until I had to return to work at 12mo!

Our county police have said to only travel if necessary

In that case I wouldn't travel.

Thank you all for your replies, I feel a bit less like a crazy new mum now! I feel so bad not going though, I know she'll be so annoyed and I feel like she'll be thinking I'm being dramatic.

I wish I'd thought it through when we first decided to go, but it was months ago and I didn't realise I'd feel like this about leaving the baby so soon then (and obviously I didn't think the weather would be like this!).

If all the snow has melted in the morning and I knew it wasn't going to get bad again I'd feel so much better about going and not letting my friend down, and equally if it's still awful tomorrow and the bus/trains were cancelled or disrupted I'd feel better in cancelling as there seems like more reason.

It's just the inbetween that makes it awkward - i.e. it's not too bad in the morning, we could probably get there without too much hassle, bus running and roads by me not too bad but we've got it hanging over us that it might get bad again unexpectedly like today - that's when I'll feel like I'm being a drama queen for not going if you know what I mean!

I'm just going to re-evaluate in the morning I think. Thank you all again for your advice!

I don’t think you should go (and I live in a country with snow and ice six months of the year). I’d let her know tonight so that she can make alternative plans for the day.

There's no way I'd be doing that. They don't say 'only travel if you have to' for fun. Bin it and stay in the warm. If your friend cares about you, she'll understand - or she can come to you!

To be honest, it sounds like you aren't ready to leave your baby, regardless of weather. Even if you go tomorrow, it sounds like all you will be thinking about is your baby which won't be very fair on your friend. I'd be quite annoyed to take a day off work and spend it with someone who didn't really want to be with me. I think you should call your friend tonight and cancel. At least that way she may be able to go to work tomorrow and not lose the day's holiday (unless she wants to).

Are you breastfeeding? If so it'll be a major PITA to have to pump several times and find somewhere to store it in case of delay. I'd not do it.

I've gone with my gut and I've messaged her tonight to say that I feel really uncomfortable going that far tomorrow with the weather that's due. That's right about the only travel if you must warnings, I can't be as blasé about it as her! I've got extra things to worry about now!

I think you're right hundredmilesanhour I don't think I'm ready to leave DD for so long yet.. I just didn't realise it until it came to this

I've said to my friend though that I still really want to see her and I've asked if we can do something a bit closer to home, so I'm nearer and not out as long etc, I want her to know that I'm not just flaking out on her and I don't want to annoy her but she's not messaged back yet.. oh well I've said I'm still here to do something closer and how sorry I am so that's out there. If she wants to then great, if she's annoyed then at least she knows now that she can go to work or make other plans instead etc. I hope she's not annoyed though

No not breastfeeding, god there's no way I'd go so far if I was and I take my hat off to all the breastfeeders out there who manage to feed, pump and still get out and about, I think I'd find it really hard! Thank you all again for making me feel better x

Did your friend take it okay?

Sorry only just seen your reply sonjadog, she was a bit annoyed I think and said she'd go anyway with her boyfriend. I didn't mind at all, I'd rather she didn't miss out for my issue to be fair.
But as it turns out they didn't go as it was still snowing this morning and her boyfriend didn't want to risk it either, so I feel a bit less like a drama queen about it now haha! Thank you all again.

Glad it worked out and your friend wasn't too annoyed. It was definitely the right decision. Weather conditions should be respected.

You're so right, they should. It's still crazy snowy here. We haven't had snow like this since I was small! Thank you again sonjadog and all