To think you can make a Christmas dinner without a cooker

[Oysterbabe]

I've just moved into a building site. We're not going to have an oven or hob fitted before Christmas. I'm 39 weeks pregnant so on Christmas day I'll either have a newborn or will be 41+1. Closest relatives are 2 hours away and I don't want to travel that far either overdue or with a days old baby. I also don't really want to make plans to go out as I have no idea how my birth will go or how I'll be feeling. Although after I had DD 2 years ago I was fine and would have been ok to cook or go out within hours.
PIL are going to come to us. MIL is a very fussy eater and won't eat anything unusual. She is also incredibly polite so would just push it around her plate, not eat it and say it was lovely so I won't worry about her too much

Available appliances are:
Kettle
Toaster
Microwave
Slow cooker
George foreman grill & Deep fat fryer (I had no idea we had these until I found them in the back of a cupboard while packing!)

What would you make?
I've been thinking that I'll go overboard on a starter of pate, cold meats, pickles, cheese etc (those are my favourite bits anyway tbh) I can slow cook a ham the day before. Then make some kind of festive stewed meat, maybe beef and red wine. I can brown the meat on the George foreman before cooking so it won't be just grey and horrid. Then maybe get some microwave packs of veggies and I think you can get frozen roasties that can be fried in a deep fat fryer. I reckon I can make pigs in blankets on the George foreman. Then some kind of microwave Christmas pudding. What do you think? Anyone have any some better ideas to make a special meal under the circumstances?
Please can you all also send positive thoughts to my cervix, I so desperately want this baby to be born before Christmas day so I can drink loads of champagne and have pate and brie

I think you shouldn't be cooking a dinner at all op. You're 39 weeks pregnant and frankly don't need the hassle!

Honestly? I'd go for a posh "Boxing Day" style buffet you can have cold. You could microwave some potatoes if you felt the need for something warm. So - a ham or Pre cooked salmon, lots of salads, bread, cheese, nibbles etc.

Id book a table at a restaurant but failing that

Slow cook a joint of meat
Veg in the microwave
There's a brand of instant mash called Idaho (pretty sure that's right) and they do a just add water Gratin or Dauphinois which is actually really nice

Cold pud and either meat n cheese platter or toast and pate for starter.

I’d forget about even trying to cook any sort of traditional dinner. Your starter sounds lovely. I’d make something along the lines of beef bourguignon for the main course using good quality meat. Serve with rice or mashed potato - buy or borrow a rice cooker or veg steamer to cook these. For veg I’d just go for something very simple like lightly steamed French beans.

Have your partner buy some grub from a local restaurant for you all to eat at home.

11 years ago I was due on the 19 th of December I was in labour all day Xmas day and ds1 was born at 5.50 am boxing day so just bare in mind you might be otherwise occupied ....

Slow cooked ham with prep prepared mash heated in the microwave. With green veg. You’ll need to have a bit of swapping at the end to get both the veg and the mash warm.

I would get a cheap steamer and you can do veg and potatoes for mash in there

Buy in sliced off the bone meat. Add some gravy from a packet or tub and heat in slow cooker. Microwave veg and mash. Deep fried roasties. Chipolatas on George foreman. Staters sound perfect. Or you could do toast and pate? I'd have trifle or another chilled dessert.

Micriwave frozen mash that should say.

Why on earth is Christmas dinner being left to you to do in your current situation? Not only will you either be massively pregnant or just had a baby but you don't even have all the means to cook and host! Your suggestions sound perfect but it really shouldn't be expected of you. Can't someone else do the work this year?

You're a better woman than me, OP!
Quite frankly I would be looking for a local hotel that does Christmas breaks including meals, booking PIL in there and reserving a table for the whole group on the day.
You don't need that stress before, during or after giving birth.

I think you sound amazing OP!!! Second a pp who said buy some sliced meat to warm in slow cooker with gravy.

But get your husband to bloody do it!!!

I'd get MIL to bring her slow cooker too and then slow roast a joint in one and make garlic and Parmesan roast potatoes in the other. Then microwave some green veg. Cold pudding or microwave a Christmas pud. None of that can be beyond your DH or in laws. You put your feet up.

Starter sounds good, as does the slow cooker ham and deep fried roast potatoes (or other potato thing - they probably need to be smaller than standard roast potatoes to cook properly in a deep fat fryer.

I'd ditch the second main under the circumstances and have salad with the ham and potatoes.

Bought dessert or something like trifle/tirimisu that can be made with kettle/microwave/no cooking if you use bought custard and sponge.

But I wouldn't worry about any of it as you'll go into labour late on Christmas Eve and spend Christmas Day in hospital in labour and you won't be ready for discharge until at least Boxing Day .

You'll be having hospital food or whatever your DH brings in and PILs will be left with your partly prepared ham, nibbles and trifle.

Marks and Spencer's or Waitrose and the microwave and you are practically sorted.

Could PIL bring a turkey?
We had a mini oven when we had building works. It had two rings on top. We did roasts in it . It wouldn't fit a turkey but otherwise would do anything.

Your kitchen sounds a lot like mine, except that we have a tabletop hob, and our microwave has an oven feature (does yours?).

We’ve done turkey casserole, pigs in blankets (yes the George Foreman grill does these fine) with braised red cabbage (slow cooker) and roasties (in the microwave oven).

Could you deep fry falafel-style stuffing balls?

Sending hurry up thoughts to your cervix ;)

I always microwave the Christmas Pudding, why fill your house with steam for hours?

Gosh, hats off to you op. I had a baby on the 21st December and was eternally grateful to go to my parents on the 24th and be waited on hand and foot until the new year! I have no idea what you should cook but if I was a guest in your house this year, I would be grateful for absolutely anything. (Actually, I would be doing it all for you).

I couldn't be doing with the stress if I were in your shoes and I mean even if you weren't pregnant.

Pub meal or takeaway would be my only options if my DH didn't want to cook.

Once you've all eaten you can then chill out and enjoy Christmas.

You can par-boil or microwave potatoes and finish them off in deep fat fryer. Pigs in blankets and parsnips in bacon similarly. Go overboard with the extras - cranberry jelly and redcurrant jelly, for example. Lay the table in ultra-festive style with crackers, bunches of vegetation, get the 'wow" factor in there and get everyone into a positive mood (confirmation bias and all that).

You're a lot nicer than me. In those circumstances, I'd tell everyone they were lucky to be getting sandwiches and a shop-bought mince pie.

Draw up a chart of what needs doing and allocate tasks to everyone. You absolutely should not be responsible for cooking Christmas dinner.

It take it this will be your first baby? If you have a newborn for Christmas Day, you'll be so knackered sore and sleep deprived you won't even know what day it is........... if you're still pregnant then you might stand a prayer. Either way, I think you are insane frankly. I was overdue at Christmas with my 1st and it's fair to say I was evil - purely because everyone kept saying "hasn't that baby arrived yet" .