Boring where shall we live AIBU

[thebingeeatingwonder]

I am a SAHM to 1 and 3yo. DH is a workaholic and not home a lot. Currently have to be SAHM due to our financial situation but I’d like to get at least a part time job in the next year to get some independence and extra income once the DC get some affordable childcare.

We have to move due to finances and we have a budget. Unfortunately DH and I have really different ideas of where we want to move to.

DH would like suburbia - a flat in a terraced house on outskirts of city. It means we’re rammed right up against neighbours, no outside space (it is not near a park or any green) but it is commutable for DH.

I have found something bigger for the same budget further out. A semi detached house. With a garden, next to a park. It’s commutable for DH but just takes longer.

Whose preference should win?

I feel that I am the one in the home all day (and most of the night) so my preference for the home I want should be respected if it is for the same budget.

Who IBU?

Have you researched the local schools for both places? That should help put a new slant on it, given 3 yo will be starting soon

You decide between you and compromise (if you're grown ups).

But your workaholic DH is going to be around even less if he's got a longer journey.

How long will his commute take in each place?

Would he be home more if you moved closer to his work. ?

What is the difference in commute time?

Would always choose to have a garden with children so would go for your preference.

Are there any other properties that offer a better compromise between your needs?

Commute time really matters, how much further out?

How long is the commute? Where would your future job likely be?
What are the childcare options like in both locations?

Not enough information I’m afraid.

What is the difference in commute? A 30 minute drive can easily turn into an hour in peak time morning/evening traffic - he might be leaving the house hours earlier/later than he is now. Definitely an aspect to consider as he’s not home much now.

Also as you’re moving to save money, do remember an increased commute also comes with higher travel costs. (Relevant if travelling to and from London for example)

Of course your opinion should be respected but I think you can both find a compromise

The difference in commute will probably be the clincher for your decision.

My personal decision would be that my home is my haven and the most important place in the world to me and I would never compromise on that. Luckily though, I have a DH that agrees with this. We both have longer commutes than perhaps necessary but have a dream home that more than makes up for the extra time spent in the car.

You- your the one that's actually going to be there all week seeing as your a sahm he'll really only be there to eat/sleep and weekends.