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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need your thoughts

7 replies

GameChanger01 · 09/12/2017 08:29

If a guy says he is "tight" quite early on does that worry you? What if you knew he was on a very high salary because of his profession... think 80-100k+... could it be because I am similar profession just not at as high a level yet but will be in near future

Secondly, we used to date but now just friends but we text each other occasionally meet up for coffee and few weeks ago we went for drinks... he got very tipsy and kept talking about sex/penis related jokes with me, was extremely "touchy feely" like touching my back and helping me carry drinks, complimenting me a lot also going on about how he has just turned 38 and needs to settle.

Strange thing is he stil frequents dating sites but I'm like maybe we should just start dating again... feel he wants a relationship hence why he keeps getting in touch but is not emotionally available.

OP posts:
gunsandbanjos · 09/12/2017 08:39

Sounds like he is trying to ward off women only interested in his high salary by setting expectations.
Get in touch, see what happens but tread carefully. He sounds emotionally immature.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 09/12/2017 08:53

Avoid.

He sounds awful.

Birdsgottafly · 09/12/2017 08:54

"Strange thing is he stil frequents dating sites but I'm like maybe we should just start dating again... feel he wants a relationship hence why he keeps getting in touch but is not emotionally available."

Sounds to me as though he wants a uncomplicated sex life that won't cost him what dating would.

He hopes that you will start having sex with him in the hope that you will get a relationship out of it.

I think if you delved deeper, his definition of dating and yours (with all the expectations) are very different.

You are wasting your time, if you want a proper relationship.

IJoinedJustToPostThis · 09/12/2017 08:56

What birds said.

GruffaloPants · 09/12/2017 08:59

Not strange for him to be on dating sites if he's single and wants a relationship.

But he sounds juvenile. Would you really want a relationship with an emotionally unavailable man whose idea of flirting is penis jokes?

The tight thing would depend on how he acts - maybe a throwaway comment, maybe not.

userabcname · 09/12/2017 09:02

If you want a relationship - absolutely not.
If you want no-strings dating / sex - he's your man.
I think he has very much made his intentions clear here so it's up to you to decide what you want.

TheSnowFairy · 09/12/2017 10:18

Cannot stand tight people (m or f) so that would be it for me.

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