Should I have said anything??

[user1494667160]

I am feeling really bad.
Basically 2 weeks ago I was at my daughters dance class. One of her teachers was going through all the routines and whilst watching her you could see her black leggings were completely see through. You could see everything - her thong, cellulite (she is a fairly large woman not that this has any bearing on anything just giving you an image) etc
I noticed that some other people could see it as well and felt really bad for her.
Anyway at the end of the class I asked if I could have a quick word with her in private. I said to her in a nice way that as friend I thought I better let her know that her leggings were see through.
I only told her because I would want someone to tell me and in no way wanted to embarrass or humiliate her.
She got really funny with me and said well that's it impossible these are really good dance leggings.
I was like 'ok well I just thought I would let you know'. She again reiterated it was not possible. I didn't really know what to say after that so just made a joke about how she has the figure to carry it off.
This week she had new leggings on but is now ignoring me.
Should I have said anything?

She's probably just embarrassed, it was nicer to mention it than bitch about it so I don't think you've done anything terrible.

I wouldn't have said anything. A mum at my kids school was wearing leggings as trousers and they were completely see through. I felt so bad for her. But I would never say anything. Worst thing was she was with her partner so why didn't he tell her! Not like she was on her own.

Yes you were being nice, I would want to know if I was showing all my fat and the crack of my arse.

I’m sure you were trying to be nice but I wouldn’t have said anything. Of course it’s embarrassing! Loo paper on the shoe, label sticking out, buttons undone - yes. Knickers visible through leggings - no.

How did you 'notice some other people could see it as well' ?

Out of interest.

And her weight is not at all relevant

You were being nice. And she's clearly embarrassed but she's being rude, which is not on.

She's embarrassed so reacted by denying it. I think that's fairly common. She knows now, but is probably a little humiliated. I don't know whether it's better to know or not really

as friend I thought I better let her know

Is she a friend? It doesnt sound like it, so you should not have said that.

I think you were wrong, tbh, but I appreciate you were trying to be nice.

She's being rude because you embarrassed her but I think you technically did the right thing. I would rather know but I'd probably die of embarrassment in front of the person who told me. But then I wouldn't have the guts to bring it up with someone!

I wouldn't have said anything. People don't always thank you. That's not your fault,though. You did it with the best of intentions and it's not like you bellowed across the crowded room. "Oi, I can see through your leggings."
However she probably feels embarrased and that's why she's getting all defensive.

She’s shooting rhe messenger. Some folks do that, don’t worry about it.

I think you did the right thing, but some people have a tendency to act funny towards a bringer of bad news. I imagine she was incredibly embarassed.

I could see other parents looking and people smiling to each other. We sit directly behind her.

You could always just be super nice and say 'I really hope you weren't offended, I didn't mean it badly' etc...

Not that you should have to.

Is have been too embarrassed to recognise your niceness

I see this alot.

I think I will try and talk to her this week and say I hope she wasn't offended.

She's embarrassed, just smile and chat to her like nothing happened, she'll get over it.

That's the nicest thing you could have done. I would have thanked you! You're not being unreasonable, she should be more grateful x