To wish I wasn't still so shy at 40!

[Midge1978]

Have always been painfully shy as a child but I kind of hoped that at some point in adulthood I would grow out of it. Am always the quiet one in every job I have and am always so unsure of myself. I missed the works Christmas do because it felt so daunting having to make conversation and be funny. Everyone else seems to find it so easy!

I also feel very exposed since dd started school and I have to mix with other parents. I smile and I'm friendly but the others seem to be able to chat to each other for ages when I can't think of a thing to say and always say something silly through nerves.

I feel as if everyone thinks I'm boring and there's not much to me. Is there anyone else who feels like this or does anyone have anything positive to say about the shy people in their life?

Hi Midge. Don't skip things, but go. Just make an effort to look presentable (you might not need to but I do) and turn up. Plan your exit route. If it is truly awful you can go home.
I've done it and most of the time it isn't awful and I leave when I think, yes it's fine but I can go now.
I've managed to force myself to go to a lot of things and some have been a bit rubbish, some just ok and lots have been great.
It gets easier each time and there are probably others there who are just as shy as you.

You are not alone! Have you tried any kind of therapy to help you work through it? Some techniques to relax before an event or school runs could be really helpful - hypnotherapy could help.
Also big acceptance of who you are - your friends and family love you the way you are, so you don't need to change, but I do I understand the anxiety that can come with shyness, so only seek to do something if it's really for you. It's funny how accepting ourselves can sometimes take away a lot of the anxiety we feel.

I sympathise it’s rubbish when you find social interaction difficult. I bet you’ll find though that people would rather have you around then the class loud mouth.
Just keep smiling, saying hello and turning up. No ones expecting anything amazing in the way of conversation from you so try not to put so much value on what you do say. It does get easier, I took me until year 2 to start talking to the mums at DDs school.

Read Sur Cairns. Quiet.

Being shy really isn’t a character defect, personally I prefer shy people to loud types.

I've come to realise that I'm just an introvert, not shy. I'm comfortable in my own skin these days and I fully recommend it.

If you don't enjoy small talk and chit chat, there's nothing wrong with that and it's pretty boring to be fair. Relax and enjoy being you, there's plenty of room in this world for chatty types and quiet types. There's nothing virtuous about being chatty. If you're not chatty, you're not, it really doesn't matter.

Thanks all you're very kind x