AIBU to want to say I can't wear this gift ?

[lcl]

I've just been bought some beautiful girls by some friends but I now realise they really don't know I would never ever wear real fur. I'm so anti it and find it so unnecessary as there's plenty of great faux fur around. The gift is a Pom Pom hat and I knew when I opened it ,it was real. I checked and the company only does real fur 😫. The thing is fur is not a a food not a by product and the way these animals are kept and skinned alive is truly horrific. The problem is I don't want to offend my friends but I really can't abide wearing this hat and resent the company getting a sale for me. How should I handle this diplomatically? Ps they'll notice me not wearing it.

Thanks so much for your really great responses. The thing is , I do wear quite a few faux fur hats and jackets with faux fur.i think my friend doesn't realise it's real or hasn't thought how it comes about and what's really involved. I might have to ignore the fact it's real fur and just not wear it but the only problem is I see them nearly every day ! I'm always wearing hats too ! Such a tricky one but actually maybe I should just be totally honest ! The rest of the gift was fantastic. I am of the opinion that if the faux fur industry is booming and continues to create fantastic copies of fur then it only serves to put the furriers out of pocket. I follow PETA and all the amazing work Pamela Anderson does. i don't believe wearing Fur is the same as wearing leather , a by product of the meat industry , fur is not food.

Trouble is, Pearl, that a lot of the fake furs are actually real.
There have been cases where retailers who have a no fur policy ( e.g. House of Fraser, Misguided) have had products containing real fur being labelled as faux fur.
Massive overfarming and cheap views on life in Asia have brought the costs down.

I think most people don't realise that fur on items under £50 could be real fur these days - it was only after I saw a news item recently that I realised it was possible to buy £15 hats or shoes on the high street that had real rather than faux! And they're often not labelled as such.

No way would I ever wear fur and it's a difficult one OP. I also totally agree about not wanting companies to profit from selling real fur products. If you don't wear it and you think they will notice then I would have to tell them in as nice a way as possible.

I wouldn't wear fake fur either as it perpetrates the idea that fur equals comfort/luxury/fashion which is wrong.

Buy a faux fur pom pom from Helen Moore and replace the real fur one on your hat?

True, might need to source a bona fide fake (something of a contradiction in terms there!) but at least friend needn’t be disappointed in their choice of gift.

restinggringhface how on earth can there be no difference between fake fur and real fur? How would wearing fake leather or fur make her a hypocrite? your talking complete shit.

I am of the opinion that if the faux fur industry is booming and continues to create fantastic copies of fur then it only serves to put the furriers out of pocket.

While I can see your reasoning, OP I have to disagree with you on this. As I said in my last post I dislike fake fur because it perpetrates the idea that fur equals comfort/luxury/fashion and that validates some people into assuming if they can afford real instead of fake, it's perfectly ok to buy it. Not the message I would want to put out at all.

I have got one like this .. the Pom Pom detaches.

PETA have had a go at companies that have plastic figurines with moulded plastic fur capes for perpetuating the idea of the luxury of fur. Also for the characters of the figurines riding fictional giant wolf animals. Please bear in mind that said plastic figurines are either faux historical figures or sci-fi characters. Either set of characters are embroiled in bloody wars.

I am a vegetarian with a lovely warm faux fur lined faux suede coat. I will not feel guilty for it. Goes to pop said coat on to pop to the shop

No really advice op but good for you for wanting to stand up for what you believe in. i realise that sounds cheesy.

Jojo may I suggest you sign up to PETA? You need some educating.

PETA are full of shit though. They are disgusting misogynists who wilfully and persistently demonstrate that the only value women have to them is our bodies, so they can use them as attention seeking billboards.

Their advertising is disgusting - they have used holocaust imagery in the past. See here for details:
m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/lucy-uprichard/the-many-failings-of-peta_b_2945870.html

Oh yes, and they kill animals. Healthy animals. www.washingtonpost.com/national/religion/at-petas-shelter-most-animals-are-put-down-peta-calls-them-mercy-killings/2015/03/12/e84e9af2-c8fa-11e4-bea5-b893e7ac3fb3_story.html?utm_term=.51e2d697d65a

I don't believe wearing Fur is the same as wearing leather , a by product of the meat industry , fur is not food

This is nonsensical. "I'm ok with killing an animal to to wear it and eat it, but killing an animal to just wear it and not eat it is disgusting and I'm appalled".
The animal still gets dead, it doesn't care if you eat it as well as wear it, that doesn't help the animal any. It's a distinction that is purely about you.

I agree PETA are not all they claim to be, however that video of the chinese skinning the animals filled with undercover cameras, clearly shoes the animals being skinned alive. It's absolutely disgusting. Google it jojo

Chinese people skin animals, eat them and use the skins. You may not agree about whether the way they kill them is humane, but my position would be that at least they acknowledge the animal is a crop and they use everything.
European meat is killed for meat. European leather animals are killed for the leather. The animals which are best for farming for meat are not the same as the ones considered best for leather.
The Chinese model (not necessarily the best meat or skins but all is used) is environmentally better but the animal welfare during life and kill is worse.
If you eat meat, wear leather, wear fur, use perfumes containing musk, wear makeup containing animals products, take medicine...you either have to decide where to draw your line or decide not to think about it.
I don't wear fur from animals bred for that purpose, so no mink, musquash, fox. I don't worry too much about Chinese rabbit fur, having visited China regularly and eaten rabbit there, even know I know the killing may not be to the same welfare standards as Europe (most particularly UK where our standards are much more welfare orientated than most places) because the meat will have been a food crop and the fur a by-product (much more likely than leather if the fur on your hat was an Asian import so I can't agree with your stance on this OP).
I buy meat from local producers who's animals are kept to high welfare standards. I wouldn't necessarily wear a bobble hat with a fur pompom if it was made in a sweat shop using overseas rabbit fur.....but the rabbit fur would be the least of my concerns.
I couldn't be a vegan: I believe that it is an unnatural diet for an omnivoric human animal and involves too much processed/imported food to make it an environmentally justifiable choice) but I do not understand and cannot accept the argument that imported rabbit fur is unethical from a meat eater. If I gave someone I know to be a carnivore a hat with Asian rabbit fur on it and they tried to make an ethical point by not wearing it, citing the reasons you have, OP, I'd think they were a rude ignoramus. Wear it or don't, but don't make an issue unless you have full facts and a morally justifiable reputation.

Oh, and PETA are bonkers: their arguments don't make sense if you drill down through their theories. It's not about being kind to animals/having a moral responsibility for giving animals the best possible life experience with them. They would rather put an animal down than have it being used as a pet. Their ideologies do not stand up to scrutiny by either animal lovers or wholehearted carnivores.....they get money by not full explaining their position. Very strange organisation.
Their founders were sterilized as they believe that there are too many animals (including humans) on the planet.......

I think you'd be very rude to return it to the person who gave it to you

Not really. It is a pretty thoughtless gift.

Actually Showmetheelf I was vegetarian many years and they know that and it was for ethical reasons as I disagreed with the way animals in this country were kept and killed. Welfare standards have improved massively and I only buy organic meat. I have rescued numerous animals too to do my small bit for animal welfare.

DailyMaileatmyshit oh agreed, absolutely, I don't wear fur and I avoid leather - I'm not perfect about it but I try not to wear it. But PETA are still awful and I don't think they do their cause any good with their tactics.

If you feel that principled about it, just explain to your friends that it is real fur and that you don’t wear real fur so would they mind if you exchanged it.

I’m not sure what the problem is. Unless you just wanted to have a “fur is baaad, mkkaay” post.

I'm so anti it and find it so unnecessary

I'm surprised your friends don't already know this.

I don't want to offend my friends but I really can't abide wearing this hat

So tell them.

Such a non problem.

I hate the way real fur has become acceptable again

I do not understand and cannot accept the argument that imported rabbit fur is unethical from a meat eater

I eat meat. I’d never wear imported Asian fur. I’d never eat Asian rabbit (or any Asian meat).

I only eat British, local meat from farms I know.

You eat meat. You’ve eaten inhumanely produced Asian meat. But you’re calling the OP an ignoramus?

Are you vegan also?