Does divorce get better and what jobs could I do with my skills? Help.

[divorcenightmare]

I am 48 and in the middle of a not very nice divorce. Am divorcing H for unreasonable behaviour. We have 3 secondary aged kids. Middle dc has OCD and their school attendance is now suffering. Youngest is having difficulty adapting to secondary school and says they are not going any more. Eldest is doing GCSEs and is very focused / academic, but quite remote. I am sure they are all suffering during this unresolved / limbo bit.

But I feel like a failure. Not only career wise but as a Mum now as well. It's all a bloody mess.

Career wise everything went wrong for me at university and I suppose that my confidence never recovered.

Before kids I did admin work and TEFL. Since kids I have worked as a primary school TA and am now working in school admin. I spent many years at home as a SAHM.

I now have to increase my earnings which will be possible to do up to a point just by working more than term time only and 4 days a week as I currently do. Still my earning potential is not great though. And I am depressed by the fact that I am still doing such basic work. Not knocking it in and of itself but my entire life I seem to have had no confidence.

So my questions are - is it normal for everything to feel like it is imploding during divorce? Do children become happier when there is less tension in the house?

And - what could I do work wise with my abilities and experience:

my strengths are my literacy / patience / ability to retain facts relating to process / sensitivity / 2 European languages spoken.

I am interested in counselling and have done the first of 3 years' training but am not sure whether to pursue this or something else.

What can I turn around at this stage in my life to earn a bit more / enough money and to have some career/job satisfaction?

Any ideas?

Thanks .

Agree with PP who suggested college lecturing - teaching adults rather than children. Is there a Further Education College near you OP?

Don't go school business manager or bursar - they work some of the longest hours in schools (60+ a week and definitely not TTO) and have to cover everything from finances to health and safety.

Where in the country are you? Currentlyblots of opportunity for ESOL teaching to adults in Scotland. Might need to brush up a bit but you have the basic skills there.

HR is one of the easiest ‘careers’ to get into. Lots of basic admin opportunities and chances to grow. And you don’t need to be an extrovert to do the job.

I'm in London. ESOL wise I did do the Award in Education and Training and was considering doing the Diploma and then did the first year of the Counselling course instead.

I think I give up quite easily when things seem to get too hard. Still don't really want to deal with any behaviour issues though - and adults do have them in FE type settings.

Thanks for the suggestions, I appreciate them

Hadn't thought of HR - I always think of it as quite dry but it probably isn't.

In the meantime I am applying for receptionist type full time jobs in NHS type settings - also in a homeless shelter. Don't know if they will come to anything.....

Has anyone turned things around and ended up doing something they never would have expected to in their late 40s onwards? I need inspirational stories!

I have also so far done one third of the IOL Diploma in Translation, but I don't think my language is particularly useful and am scared of working freelance (once I eventually get the whole diploma).

I will look into HR twickerhun. I like the sound of chances to grow.

Hope you get the advice you need.
I can’t help with any of it except the kids part - Dsis and I were 17 and 16 when our parents Dd, after the actual divorce we got worse, especially when new partners emerged. But, it was a case of getting worse before we got better. We’re both very happy, successful, and independent now. Plus, every child is different. I hope everything turns out well for you x

Thanks LemonySnicket. That's what I am hoping - that we all settle down and that the kids thrive once they are out of the tense limbo.

I got a job I never would have expected, starting with new types of job at age 46, OP. Hang in there. I'm doing really interesting stuff now.

OP, apart from HR, how about compliance? Since you are in London, there would be lots of compliance jobs that start with admin. You mentioned being good with patience, ability to retain facts relating to process, sensitivity and 2 European languages. Perfect for compliance. You could consider working, say, in anti-money laundering in a European bank. Good career track. Growth area.

Why not look into IAPT - Improving Access to Psychological Therapies - offered in various ways including through charities like local Mind associations, and also NHS providers. You can enter as a trainee and it would fit with some of your existing counselling skills/interest.

Thanks.

I am interested in IAPT but don't think I have enough relevant experience to get on one of their courses at the moment.

Don't know much about compliance but will find out.

OP The age question...

I became a published author and a freelance journalist writing for all the nationals (mainly broadsheets ) in my mid-50s. Lifelong ambition. Money is rubbish, work erratic,stressful with deadlines, but fulfilled lifelong ambition.