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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Scared to drive

36 replies

Jmarie59 · 07/12/2017 23:23

So basically I passed my test in September and got a car lees than a week ago. When collecting my car I had to drive back home which was over an hour by myself (however following a friend infront). I was so so scared.

I am really scared to drive my car. I have been going out in the late evening when there have been no cars about. When I think about getting in my car my stomach turns and I feel sick. I work two hours away from my home (by bus) and I can't pluck up the confidence to drive to work or even during the day.

I'm just wondering does it get easier? Has anyone else experienced this? I feel really down to the point I'm wishing I hadn't bought a car.

Thank you.

OP posts:

BackforGood · 08/12/2017 00:04

The 'biting point' is set up differently in instructors cars. You have to get used to your own car first. (Hence the stalling).

YDon't try and go out in the rush hour to start with. You need to learn to drive your car first. As most other people have suggested, get used to your car first. Go out when it is quiet. I wouldn't go out late at night to start with, go out in the light at the weekend and just get used to driving. It won't take long. Then practice your route to work (and parking if you will need to as that will be different from your instructor's car). Then you will be ready to drive to work. Before you know it you won't remember what you were worried about.

mrsfollowill · 08/12/2017 00:05

It is very scary being in charge of a car for the first time. It really does get easier once you have done a few runs on your own. I remember feeling more confident with my 16 yo sister next to me (I was 17 at the time!) She would have been no help at all really but it made me feel better!! Before you know it will be 2nd nature and you will be on auto pilot!

Areyouready · 08/12/2017 00:13

When I passed my test, I literally drove around the block, every day when I got home from work. It was no more than 5 mins a day to begin with, but I knew the route, as I used to do it with my instructor.
Just little, and often, little and often.

Rooooooood · 08/12/2017 00:15

I love the comment from the helpful poster to 'ignore the silly suggestions' I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure the OP could have worked that out for herself 😂

OP, I think you just have to be patient. Your confidence will come with time. I'd suggest driving the same local routes for a while and continuing with your late night practise runs.

One thing that might help is making sure you know your route beforehand. You can even try going through any tricky parts of a trip on Google StreetView before you do it in real life. I'm an experience and confident driver but I occasionally do this.

A good satnav which gives clear instructions on which lane to be in helps too.

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 08/12/2017 00:30

Little and often OP, little and often.
Start with a 5 min there and back journey. Go to the supermarket or just to a car park. Park up, have a snack, and set off again.
The next day do 10 mins and so on.
Do some of the routes you did on lessons so you are familiar with the roads but just getting used to driving alone.
After a couple of weeks divert off them and do different return routes.
If you do well at something go back and do it again or try a similar type of junction. For instance big roundabouts terrified me. There is a huge roundabout near Manchester which made me shake with nerves. I did it unintentionally one day because of a diversion and made myself come back that way and go around it a couple more times. That roundabout and similar layouts don’t scare me anymore.

Remember no one wants to crash, everyone is out there trying not to damage their car, other cars or themselves. You can do it too.

howcomes · 08/12/2017 00:42

I felt really scared after passing my test too, it helped a lot to go out on drives by myself early morning weekends to get used to the car and the routes. I also got a sat nav and I often check google street view and the google satellite view in advance to get an idea about the correct lanes to be in.

After driving for a couple of months I suddenly had to take the bus when putting the car in for a service and boy did I appreciate being able to drive a car again afterwards. You'll get there, don't worry!

purplemunkey · 08/12/2017 08:43

Gosh, I've been the same. I passed 6 months ago and though I AM driving I have been avoiding it as much as I can, no matter how hard I try to push myself to do it more.

I think part of my problem is I don't HAVE to drive, I WANTED to to give me more freedom. So I've been able to carry on pretty much as normal telling myself I'll give a longer drive a go tomorrow/next week/(never!).

I really want to just get on with it now so am watching this thread with interest.

I have kept driving at least once a week, use rescue remedy (placebo or not, don't care if it 'feels' like it's helping!) and lots of positive mantras to repeat when nerves start to hit e.g I am calm, I am confident, I am in control.

I know I've got much better at driving since I started, the confidence it taking a while to catch up though.

Good luck and just keep doing it!

MadamPatti · 08/12/2017 09:49

I was like this for a while after I got my first car. I used to imagine my instructors voice. Never had rescue remedy but I imagine it would help. It will pass. Xx

purplemunkey · 08/12/2017 13:26

I used to imagine my instructors voice

Ha! I think this is part of my problem. I did an intensive course with a very shouty instructor.

He was nice enough, and taught me ok as I passed first time and was fairly confident going to test but he had quite a shouty approach so remembering his voice does not help at all.

My DP on the other hand was fantastic when I first passed, talking me through it all when I first drove our car as opposed to the one I learnt in. It made me realise how much better a calmer and more measured instructor would have been.

netmummyblog · 08/12/2017 13:28

I passed my test nearly 3 years ago, I had my first prang last week and its really shaken me up about driving. I have been so much more careful and today I have to drive in the snow and I hated it.... but my point is the butterflies will pass and you will get the confidence the more miles you do, it takes time. Just take it easy you know what you're doing or else you wouldnt have passed your test!

LeiasBuns · 08/12/2017 13:43

Also, remember that sometimes you do get the odd grumpy unreasonable driver on the road that will beep at anything. Don't always assume you have done something wrong as that may knock your confidence. I used to panic and always worry about what mistake I had made but have come to realise (after 14 years of driving!) that often it's just some grump being a twat.

I also use google street view if I am going somewhere I haven't been before. It's great for checking out in advance the road layout and parking etc

Have confidence in yourself and drive little and often as pp have suggested. You will get over that feeling!

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