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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that remembering my dp's prescription is my job?

58 replies

just5morepeas · 07/12/2017 22:45

My dp is on tablets that need picking up from the pharmacists every few months or so (I loose track).

I don't mind picking them up - he works full time and I'm a sahm, so I don't mind that. But he never keeps track of how many he has left so it's always when he's completely run out that he asks me about it!

I'm going to have to start keeping a reminder of when he's next due them I think. Ugh. (I know I don't have to, but it probably would make it easier on me to do so.)

When it's something he has to take everyday for the rest of his life I'd think he'd have a better handle on it than this! Argh!

OP posts:
mrsfollowill · 07/12/2017 23:49

Check if your local pharmacy has a repeat prescription service- DH has a monthly prescription and the pharmacy receives it by email every month direct from the docs and have his meds waiting. They have long opening hours so he can just nip down at a convenient time. His DM used to run around and make sure it was all covered- once she was unable to do this he thought I would step in!! I work full time although to be fair less hours than him - life is too short for this to become an issue.

DorisDangleberry · 07/12/2017 23:50

If he doesn't take his pills, what happens? Will he die? If so, that'll properly teach him, he won't forget again

lalalalyra · 07/12/2017 23:59

Do you have a Boots near you/near your surgery? They order the items when they are due and send a text when they've collected and filled the prescripion and all you have to do is pick it up. It doesn't cost anything else.

MaitlandGirl · 08/12/2017 00:02

We have similar problems in our house - 5 different prescriptions to collect all with different repeat intervals.

I set up a family google email address and a family google calendar and we were each responsible for adding prescription details with a 48hr alert and ‘Book drs appointment for ‘name’ next week’ reminders. It’s made the world of difference and taken a lot of the mental load off me.

Would that work for your family?

GrockleBocs · 08/12/2017 00:07

I have calendar reminders to request my prescriptions at a time I'm likely to be able to do it. It's the sensible thing to do.

Potato25 · 08/12/2017 00:10

I bet if you're on birth control you don't ask him to keep track of that for you. He is a grown man and should look after his own pills.

NoSquirrels · 08/12/2017 00:16

Can't you jus t tell him "I don't mind picking up your prescription for you, but it would be good to know in advance - last minute stuff really buggers up my day."

and suggest he sets an alarm/alert on his phone a week before it's due. Do you share a calendar? He & you can be reminded at the same time, so you can ask him about it.

My DH has loads of meds too. He often leaves it last minute. He is expected to sort out his own meds and picking them up or grovel HUGELY to me if I need to fix the situation Grin

shakingmyhead1 · 08/12/2017 00:19

annoying but if it is going to fall to you to carefully monitor his medical needs... write on a calendar the date of next pick up once you get this months lot

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2017 08:22

just5morepeas, Look, I do see where you're coming from BUT if you say that this task falls to you then it's your task and it's for you to be organised about it so that you're not rushing around. You can back-plan as presumably your husband's medication is regular. It's a call to the pharmacy or note to the surgery and you can plan it so that you have an emergency stock.

It's up to you to decide if this is one of your tasks or not - do it properly if so - or say that you're not going to do it. It really isn't difficult.

My husband is scatty and there's nothing I can say or do that will change that. He just is. That is who he is. But he'll do things that would send me into a tailspin of panic without my even having to ask. And he wouldn't be asking if he should be annoyed that I don't do them, he just plods on doing them.

That said, we all need a rant sometimes and I could bore you rigid with tales of empty packets in the fridge, food left to weld on plates instead of scraping it into the bin, etc., etc.

My tolerance levels are just getting low for the same old posters who trawl this board just to tell women that they've married a 'non-functioning adult' or some other similar insult and that's where I'm coming from on this - this is a 'catnip' thread for them.

gamerchick · 08/12/2017 08:28

My tolerance levels are just getting low for the same old posters who trawl this board just to tell women that they've married a 'non-functioning adult' or some other similar insult and that's where I'm coming from on this - this is a 'catnip' thread for them

Are you reading the same thread as me because I’m reading a poor Menz must be coddled lest he dies.

Daisymay2 · 08/12/2017 08:35

You don't need to go to the on line pharmacies.All they do is take scripts from the local pharmacies, use them or lose them. Most of the income of a pharmacy comes from the dispensing fee.
Most GPS are using on line ordering and transmit the script to the pharmacy of your choice. DH orders his at night and the script is usually waiting for collection following afternoon. They will deliver the next day if needed. I am on regular meds and get a year's worth of scripts transmitted to my chosen pharmacy after the annual review. I just ask for them when needed.

NeilPetark · 08/12/2017 08:38

Why not just get them on repeat? Boots do it and they text you when they’re ready. I never run out.

timeisnotaline · 08/12/2017 08:42

I like to know that if I was sick or died my husband could take care of himself and our children, else what's the point of them having a father? So if I'm doing it as a favour and he's perfectly capable, fine. If he can't manage this basic life admin for himself never mind his children he has to learn because I will only accept a capable adult as a partner.

SouthWindsWesterly · 08/12/2017 09:02

Do you also have to remember his family birthdays and sort those out?

MyrandaRoyce · 08/12/2017 09:21

Get the pharmacist to manage reordering from the GP (Boots do this and loads of independent pharmacies around where I live, so worth asking wherever you usually go).
Could your husband set a reminder in his calendar to do a check on how much he has left every month?

lynmilne65 · 08/12/2017 09:30

Why are any of you married Moaning Minnies, try watching someone dying

GreenTulips · 08/12/2017 09:46

don't see that it's a big deal if he works and you don't

Having 3 kids under 2 is work - just unpaid- try getting 3 kids ready to go for a trip to the chemist when he could easily drop by on the way home from work - and then ask who's unreasonable

KimmySchmidt1 · 08/12/2017 10:18

My DH is organised, I would not be compatible with someone who is not, because I work long hours in a stressful job and am just not interested in organising his admin.

But everyone is different. And if you do not work, and are at home all the time while he is chained to his desk at work, then I do think that changes things in terms of what it is reasonable to do for him.

Looneytune253 · 08/12/2017 10:32

So if he orders them you pick them up? Make sure he’s ordering them and they’ll be ready for you to pick up when he really needs them. It’s not your job to order them in time.

mummmy2017 · 08/12/2017 10:48

Why don't you just put a pack in a large envelope and write REORDER ME on the front.
I find so many people aren't willing to go with the give and take of daily life, think about things he does for you without asking, this way you will stop thinking things are unfair.

ShotsFired · 08/12/2017 10:51

A favourite office administrator of mine years back used to have to wrangle a bunch of grown toddlers (sales people). They used to use up all her office supplies and marketing brochures etc and not tell her. Then whinge when the cupboard was empty.

So she implemented a simple system of putting in a slip/sheet of paper which said "pass this to Jean" in every stack or pile of items at an appropriate "re-order this now" point; and the toddlers simply gave her the slip when they came across it.

Perhaps that is a halfway house option for @just5morepeas? It's initial admin of putting the slip in the new packet, but pushes the onus of remembering back onto her husband which sounds like what she wants?

Sirzy · 08/12/2017 10:53

A lot of areas are stopping pharmacies from reordering due to the amount of waste it was leading to.

I agree with others about having notifications on a phone. Ds is on 15 meds and it’s the only way to keep track. You need to decide between you who will keep track

ShotsFired · 08/12/2017 10:54

@MaitlandGirl We have similar problems in our house - 5 different prescriptions to collect all with different repeat intervals.

My GP does a service called a Prescription Synchronization, where they juggle quantities of multiple scripts so you end up with one single repeat date. Would something like that work for you?

mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 08/12/2017 10:58

I have depression which affects my memory. Dh is responsible for reminding me to collect my medication. What's the problem? Being married is teamwork.

B0033 · 08/12/2017 11:02

Don't do it. My DH is on lifelong medication, and when he was first diagnosed I started taking over the responsibility of refills etc. A friend asked me why I was mothering him and I soon stopped!

I don't mind dropping off a refill order or picking up meds if he can't do it himself for whatever reason - I was, however, very annoyed when he took ages to change surgeries when we moved house and I had to drive miles away to collect scripts because he didn't have the time....

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