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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want people to write ds1 full name (not just the shortened version)?

74 replies

runnyhabbit · 20/04/2007 12:31

Some advice needed please. This might seem really petty, but its about ds1 name. He's called Joshua. Me and dh chose it because a:we really love it, and b:because it can be shortened and still sound like a proper name iyswim. But (and I just know this is going to sound petty) we hate it when people just write Josh on cards. I think its so lazy that they can't be bothered to write the "ua" at the end. Granted, when he was born, some people did ask us will he be a Joshua or Josh, and we did say he'll be known as Joshua, and thats what we'll call him, but this being the real world, chances are he'll get called Josh (including us)
Its got to me a bit more since Williams birth (9 days ago), so not sure if I'm being unreasonable. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 21/04/2007 11:56

Could be Victor

calebsmummy · 21/04/2007 12:07

Nope not unreasonable. I always call children by the name their parents choose. We know a Joshua and Samuel and thier mum calls them that and the shortened versions, but I always put their full names on cards. But if parents call them by the shortened name ie we know an Izzy we use that name. I wouldn't be offended if a parent asked me to call their child by a certain name.

unknownrebelbang · 21/04/2007 22:29

Oooh, never thought about Victor, lol.

xenabelly · 21/04/2007 22:37

just as a matter of interest, i've got a friend who insists on calling and talking about all our other friends by their full names and it drives everyone mad!!

eg: Rick = Richard
Dave = David
Rob = Robert
Beth = Elizabeth

These are people who's partners, parents and childhood friends call them by their shortened names, they also introduce themselves and sign cards with their shortened names but this particular friend insists on giving them their full names.

It's daft how these things get on your nerves isn't it, but this particular friend drives us nuts with it!!

Lizzylou · 21/04/2007 22:40

DS2 is called Benedict, we had only one card thast called him his full (and glorious) name ....gets on my tits no end!

MIL even had a card made for him.... to "Ben"
I was not pleased.

sarz · 21/04/2007 22:56

Well my name is Sarah, not a name you could easily shorten, but it is done (even by me, hense my name on here) All my family call me sars/sarz/sarzy inface anything BUT sarah, so much so when people call me Sarah i think i am in trouble! However on cards my aunt ALWAYS put Sara, which drove me mad! its not a shortening of my name, its a whole different name!!!

cat64 · 21/04/2007 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Wotzsaname · 21/04/2007 23:00

well sarz, that's one name I didn't think you could shorten, how wrong am I?

chocolattegirl · 21/04/2007 23:07

I think some people shorten names because they know it teases.

sarz · 21/04/2007 23:07

My Aunty is called penelope which she HATES and so is called penny! most people dont even know here real name is penelope, she even got married as Penny!
I agree with cat about the one syllable names, although even then they will find a nic-name! its what children do!! Although OP was talking about adults writing in cards, not children in the play ground!!

dazzlincaz · 21/04/2007 23:29

I dislike being addressed by my full name. It has many abbreviated forms and when I found myself in a class with two others of the same name, it was an ideal opportunity to try out some of the shortened versions! This didn't come about until I was 12 years old though, wish it had been sooner!!

When I met my dh he called me a shortened version of my name, and as I met new people when I moved and started work, I introduced myself as such. If people call me by my full name now it is because they are relations or people who have known me from childhood.

DS1 has a name of five letters, not generally shortened, but people often do even though it is not a proper name then. DS2 was to be known by a shortened name but my mother insisted on calling him the full one and I wearily gave in as it wasn't worth the battle to convince her otherwise. Both DSs are known to their friends by various nicknames as they have grown older. I do regret not sticking to my first desire to call DS2 the short name though. Should ask him what he would have preferred now that he is an adult - I may be back tomorrow with a further post to this!!!

Original poster

runnyhabbit · 22/04/2007 12:36

I didn't realise I'd get so many replies to this

We have no intention of shortening Williams name, but if he choses a shortened version when he's older, then thats up to him. Same goes for Joshua. And, yes we did call Joshua so he had the choice (and we like the name)

Think it might have some deep rooted hate when people shorten my name to a nickname I hate

Things like this rarely get to me, so I think I'll blame it on sleep deprivation (thats what I'm blaming everything on atm!)

OP posts:

newgirl · 22/04/2007 13:13

I think people shorten names out of fondness - its a way of being friendly and familiar

so i wouldn't get cross about it - just see it as a sign that people are fond of your kids! (sorry, children!)

dmo · 22/04/2007 15:48

now i dont mind anybody calling my son by his shorten name but always like to see it wrote fully esp at school
my son is Christopher so its Chris for short but was upset on his first holy communion when his cert said Chris

my other son is Ryan but most people call him Ry or Raz doesnt bother me aslong as they write his full name

Fillyjonk · 22/04/2007 16:06

eh?

why on earth would you care?

I mean, why ?

people do have their own relationship with kids, one not mediated by their parents. I really do think to want to decide whether the outside world can use a short name for a kid is going too far.

Have NEVER got this aversion to shortening names, this whole choosing a name so it can't be shortened. If you want a name like that you have to choose a letter of the alphabet or something-Dee or Jay or something.

motherinferior · 22/04/2007 16:10

I pretty well agree with the Fillyjonk. Lots of people mispronounce DD2's name, and the short form of DD1's that we use was actually thought up at her childminder...but you can't stop people, you really can't.

NuttyMuffins · 22/04/2007 16:10

Wouldn't bother me tbh. Dd1 is Lauren, but everyone calls her Lolly or Lol and some relatives even put Lolly on her cards, she doesn't care and neither do I.

Mind you Ds is Harry and I kind of want to punch people when they call him H

goodnanny · 22/04/2007 16:18

insane in the membrane

INSANE IN THE BRAIN!!!!!

Why call your child Joshua if you hate it shortened to Josh?
my mate's ds is called Joshua and she goes mental if anyone calls him Josh.......does my fu**ing head in!! Also her other ds is Alexanda but NOBODY is EVER allowed to call him Alex.
EVER, she would eat you for breakfast.

goodnanny · 22/04/2007 16:20

i meant AlexandER!!

Fillyjonk · 22/04/2007 16:27

WHY would you care?

I just don't get it

wait til they are older, my god

joash · 22/04/2007 16:34

How old is Joshua?
I ask becasue when he started at the local nursery - the teachers asked him if he preferred Joshua or Josh. He actually said Josh and wil only answer to that name at school. If anyone makes the mistake of calling him Josh out of school - he insists that his name is Joshua.

Original poster

runnyhabbit · 22/04/2007 16:45

He's 2 in 2 weeks

I do not hate the name Josh, and it is only since Williams birth (11 days ago) that its "got" to me. But even since starting this thread, its getting to me less and less (thinking and hoping my old pre-pregnant self is coming back)

OP posts:

joash · 22/04/2007 16:54

DD1 is called Rebecca and we always cal her by her full name - whereas everyone else calls her Becca (hate it). She's 26 now by the way!!

joash · 22/04/2007 16:54

Should have said that GS is called Joshua too [smile}

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