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AIBU?

Me vs Costa...

208 replies

ImAMarshmellow · 07/12/2017 13:18

Went to a shopping centre this morning with ds. Wanted to stop for a coffee mid morning so went into one of the 2 costas in the retail park.
Ds is intolerant to soya, dairy and eggs, which means he essentially can't have anything that Costa sell. (Bread contains soya, crumpets have eggs in and cakes are self explanatory. They also prepare stuff in the same area, so cross contamination is highly possible) I don't want him eating a bag of salt and vinegar crisps, so I normally take a bag of Ella's puffs snacks or similar. (He's 15 months).
Bought myself a coffee and cake and sat down with ds and his snack. He's happily chomping through his snack and an employee brought my drink over and asked if I had bought the snack ds was eating from there... I explained not and that he can't eat anything from there because as far as I am aware most of the foods are unsuitable for his dietary needs. She basically asked me to either leave or put the snacks away.
So was I wrong for bringing my own snacks or was I being reasonable since he really can't eat anything from there?
The only other 2 places to eat within that retail park would have been the same I.e they sell cakes/snack style foods.

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snackarella · 07/12/2017 18:16

YANBU. Even if he didn't have dietary requirements you wouldn't feed him the one brand of crisps they do sell I doubt because they are very crispy and hard to chew.
Seeing as you bought coffee and a cake she shouldn't have said anything. Not like you had a lunchbox out for a 4 year old while you sat there with a water.

Jerseysilkvelour · 07/12/2017 18:24

My DD is intolerant to several things (including silly rules in cafes ), I always took snacks for her not just because of that but because cafe food always seems to be too unhealthy for a baby.

I've never had a problem in Marks and Spencer's cafe bringing my own snacks by the way.

Spangles1963 · 07/12/2017 18:26

In the Costa's that I go to regularly,I frequently see people bringing in bags of stuff from the nearby McDonalds and Greggs and sitting there blatantly eating it in full view of the staff. The staff NEVER say a word!

ArcheryAnnie · 07/12/2017 18:27

People really don't get how bloody hard it is when you have a child with intolerances.

I know exactly how hard it is. I always ask first when in a cafe. Never been refused. It's pretty easy to ask, and it's polite, too.

IamPickleRick · 07/12/2017 18:30

M&S are infinitely superior to Costa. I missed that you had one on the same retail park. You would definitely not have had this issue in there.

TenForward82 · 07/12/2017 18:33

Some right wangos on this thread.

I'd have said the bit about allergies, then if she persisted, I'd have said "Are you having a tin bath? Manager, please."

guestofclanmackenzie · 07/12/2017 18:40

That's terrible. I'd be writing to Costa HQ.

YADNBU

Jamiek80 · 07/12/2017 18:57

Yanbu but then neither are they I’m sure they will have it written down that only Costa food and drink to be consumed on premises and while it is upto their discretion to enforce this they are doing nothing wrong by doing so. You are not doing anything wrong by giving your child a snack if they cannot eat anything sold there. Maybe next time though it would be polite to ask first maybe before purchasing your drink, at least then you have the option to walk out without having given them your money.

WanderingTrolley1 · 07/12/2017 19:05

Strange. You purchased something, so shouldn’t be an issue.

I’ve never had a problem taking toddler food into any place.

wrenika · 07/12/2017 19:06

Waitresses are generally just doing their job. When I was a student, I worked in a cafe and spent a lot of time having to ask people not to feed their kids stuff from home. In your case it isn't so bad, it's just a wee snack, but honestly, you got some right cheeky buggers...like two mums with a gaggle of kids, and the kids were all sitting down to sandwiches brought from home while the mums had a coffee. And they were not impressed about being told to sling their hook!

RaeSkywalker · 07/12/2017 19:07

I feel your pain- my DS has a dairy allergy. I always take food out for him. You have a far more complex situation to deal with!

The only thing I do differently to you is discussing it at the counter- sometimes places surprise me and do have things he can eat- so I buy them. But the other day, we went to a cafe- I asked if they had anything DF, and the only thing available was a massive Bakewell tart. I said “he’s only 1, I don’t really think he should have that much sugar. I’ve got a sandwich in my bag- can he have that in here?” the staff were fine with it.

overnightangel · 07/12/2017 19:12

@TenForward82 , I must have missed the memo that’s said businesses have to place benevolence to people who’ve chosen to have children and can’t find anything else to do above making a profit

SandyDenny · 07/12/2017 19:15

What a lot of fuss over a pretty non issue.

The employee was no doubt doing what she'd been told by her manager, maybe she was new, maybe she didn't know discretion could be applied

Surely a quiet polite word with the manager would have been the best option but tbh they can have whatever rules they like, no one has to go in. I'm pretty sure they realise that some people won't comeback after such an interaction with them and if it is the policy rather than an employee gone rogue then they are happy to lose some custom over it.

MarrowWang · 07/12/2017 19:19

YANBU. If you had gone in with snacks, asked for a glass of tap water and took up a table, they that would be unreasonable obviously. But buying something, nope nope nope.

TenForward82 · 07/12/2017 19:29

@overnightangel soz I've not patience for endulging goady fuckery, especially about people who have chosen to have children on website FOR PARENTS. Bye Felicia.

Willow2017 · 07/12/2017 19:40

Actually, Costa do a GF, vegan, soy free christmas cake slice and mince pie so you could have bought him something - they are sealed

None of my kids would have touched them with a barge pole!

ArcheryAnnie · 07/12/2017 20:02

None of my kids would have touched them with a barge pole!

But that's not the point, is it? I don't really like falafels, but if I go into a falafel restaurant then I can't really use that as an excuse for taking my own food in.

The OP did not want to buy Costa's crisps because she didn't want her child eating them, not because her child was allergic to them. And that's fine, too!

All this entire thread could have been avoided if only the OP had been polite enough to ask first.

VanillaMincePie · 07/12/2017 20:05

Costa are going through a strange period. I went in yesterday and discovered that they (the staff) are not allowed to put the paper napkins out with the wooden strikers and the sugar. You have to ask for them. Talk about costa-cutting!

paperandpaint · 07/12/2017 20:10

It’s not just about intolerances though. Coffee shop snacks are so high in salt and sugar - totally inappropriate for a 15 month old (she says, forgetting how many croissants DD ate at that age..!) If there is nothing age appropriate then of course you should bring your own. I often go to Cafe Nero for coffee and bring a Naked bar because I want a snack and there is similar for me to eat there - nobody has the slightest issue!

paperandpaint · 07/12/2017 20:15

“Asked first”

I’m the most honest/rule following person in the world but there’s no way i would have asked if my baby/toddler could have some baby snacks if I’d bought a coffee! It’s a small person not a teenager eating a McDonalds!!

ArcheryAnnie · 07/12/2017 20:15

If you want to have a snack at a coffee shop, and you don't like or want their snacks, then you should go to a coffee shop which sells snacks you can eat, not take your own.

ArcheryAnnie · 07/12/2017 20:16

But paperandpaint it's just being polite, AND would have removed the reason for this entire thread, as I've never encountered a place which says no when you ask!

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paperandpaint · 07/12/2017 20:23

But it’s a baby!! It seems not like the OP is sitting eating her own food. And be fair - how many coffee shops sells baby appropriate food? I live in West London - home of 5000 coffee shops and cafes and I cannot think of one that sells something appropriate.

SpecialAgentDaleCooper · 07/12/2017 20:41

This is crazy.

The OP bought a coffee and a cake for herself, this is the same spend as if she'd bought a coffee for herself and a snack for her son. If she'd gone in with a baby or a fast asleep baby/toddler she wouldn't have bought them anything so would this Costa employee have had a problem with that?

As an aside when DS was little my local Caffe Nero (way better than Costa - better service, better coffee) would give him a free little espresso cup of frothy milk. It was more froth than milk, but it was free and meant that there was no pressure to buy him anything. I've seen them do this with lots of other toddlers so it must be something they do at their discretion and, IMO, is a lovely touch. It certainly is one of the reasons I've been loyal to Neros for over 13 years

ImAMarshmellow · 07/12/2017 20:50

isn't it true though that its not that there is nothing there he can eat, its that OP preferred him to have something else?
As she said herself in the op, he could have had crisps but she prefers the rip off and still crisps Ella things. He could have had a banana, or the mince pie or cake mentioned.

Didn't realise they even sold the mince pies/Christmas cake that's everything free. Not sure if that's every store? I've never seen it before. I usually tend to have something in my bag for him.

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