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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want DC3

8 replies

Coffeeforever · 07/12/2017 10:32

I have 2 DCs under 3 and am really keen to start TTC DC3 in the new year. This would give us a gap of 18/19 months between DC2 & DC3 presuming it happened straight away (which in all likelihood it wouldnt).

DH is up for a third, though would happily stick at 2. He shares my view that if we are going to do it, we may as well do the baby/toddler stages all at once whilst we are already in the thick of it. I feel pretty certain we should go for a small gap (we have conceived the others with pretty much no trying at all but appreciate that we could have a longer journey this time).

My main hesitation is work as I would be going back pregnant/getting pregnant soon after my return in my ideal situation.

AIBU to think that 3 under 4 would be ok? And that i wouldnt be killing my career forever have 3 mat leaves in quick succession? Has anybody else done this?

OP posts:
Frederickvonhefferneffer · 07/12/2017 10:35

If you really want 3 then just go for it.

Coffeeforever · 07/12/2017 11:01

You are probably right - we can deal with the impact later. And I think I would really regret not having a third. I do not feel at all done

OP posts:
PinkHeart5914 · 07/12/2017 11:12

I’ve got ds 27 months, dd 16 months and I am expecting baby 3 later this month. I will have 3 under 3 and I think it’s fine as Me and dh have coped with 2 dc just 11 months apart very well. My thinking is very much you might as well have them all together all close in age.

I can’t answer about your career though as I work for myself so different for me

Bumplovin · 07/12/2017 15:28

I would like 3 dc and am going to start trying for #2 at Christmas. I feel a bit anxious about what work will say if I conceive after returning from maternity leave but I'm 36 so don't want to wait too long

DailyMaileatmyshit · 07/12/2017 16:16

From the a sustainability perspective YABU, as the planet cannot support a continually growing population.

However, if you want three and can afford three, then do it.

Silverthorn · 07/12/2017 16:19

I would love a third but dh is against it. 😟
If you both want it, then you can make it work.

Coffeeforever · 07/12/2017 17:41

It sounds very selfish but I hadn't even considered it from an environmental/ sustainability perspective and I don't think this aspect would play a role in my decision Blush

Work really is my only concern. We can afford a 3rd but couldn't afford for me to be a sahm. And I don't want to be which is why I'm worried about the career impact

OP posts:
Bumplovin · 07/12/2017 18:26

I feel the same with worries over work but having a family is really important to me and I've decided that my career may have to suffer slightly at the end of the day it's my family that will be around in years to come. I know that doesn't help at all if you are very career minded. My career was a big part of my life pre kids but my perspective has changed since having my daughter

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