To think £60 is a lot of money?

[Brandbrandbrandy]

I joined a Pilates class on recommendation from a friend. When I registered, I had to fill in a form and one of the questions was how I heard of the place, ie. Internet, local advertisment etc.

When I handed the form in, the receptionist said “oh, don’t forget to ask your friend about the vouchers”.

Apparently if you join through an existing member, you get the equivalent of £120 discount between you in vouchers but they are redeemed by the existing member, if that makes sense. I guess to ensure that you do actually know each other and it’s not a scam on your part to get £60 off by randomly giving someone’s name.

Anyway, weeks went by and my friend didn’t mention anything about the vouchers. Eventually I brought it up. My exact words were: “Oh, by the way, apparently you get £120 worth of vouchers because I signed up through you. Did you get them yet?”

So she answered: “yes, I got them”.

That’s all.

Anyway, I pressed a bit about the blurb being something like: “bring a friend and if they join, you can share £120 in vouchers redeemable against classes and other purchases” or something like that.

She looked at me like and said “chill out Brandy, it’s only £60”.

AIBU to think she’s being mean not to share? Or was I being grabby?

Wow what an utter cow. Some friend! She was just using you for sure.

Even if the vouchers had been 'only' a tenner, she should still have bloody well shared them!

As for this.

But I’m noticing more and more little things that make me question who she is. For example, she can be a bit of a bully. And when we go out to eat for say, a curry, she’ll take all the best bits of meat leaving mainly sauce and small grisly bits for everyone else.

She sounds like an utter shit. I would give her a verrrrry wide berth.

Nasty.

I'm not one for confrontation but in this situation I would definitely ask her outright why she thinks it's ok to essentially gain from you joining when presumably everyone else splits it without a second thought.

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll bring it up again because even if she did hand over the vouchers (which she’s probably already spent) our friendship is unlikely to survive this. I don’t hate her but I don’t feel the same towards her anymore.

' For example, she can be a bit of a bully. And when we go out to eat for say, a curry, she’ll take all the best bits of meat leaving mainly sauce and small grisly bits for everyone else.'

I'll never for the life of me understand people who sit by and let someone do this because that would beyond fuck me off.

Her curry etiquette says it all.

I would be tempted to cancel my membership and demand a refund. That way the club also loses out from her selfishness. That might make them rethink the policy.

So next time you’re out with her and a group of friends, get your revenge by sharing the story with them all as if it’s oh so witty!! If she has enough front to not be embarrassed then she’s a cheeky cow, and fair play to her she can keep the £60. If she’s suitably embarrassed and mentions it you then call her out and say “oh but surely you thought it was an acceptable thing to do, why are you embarrassed now other people know?

At the very least you’ll have given everyone else a heads up.

'To be honest, I don’t think I’ll bring it up again because even if she did hand over the vouchers (which she’s probably already spent) our friendship is unlikely to survive this. I don’t hate her but I don’t feel the same towards her anymore.'

Then what have you to lose by pulling her up for being such a tight-fisted twat? She's a fuckwit and you still entertain being in such a person's company for a second more? People like this get away with bullying others because they target mugs. Don't stand for it. Pull her up on and then get rid of her. Call her out. Then tell her off! 'Sick of your being a bullying, tight-fisted twat. Scales have fallen from my eyes. You're a total bitch. Fuck off.'

To be fair expat, the first time it happened I didn’t really take much notice. Assumed it was just what happens sometimes when you’re chatting and taking a helping at the same time, not paying much attention and drink is flowing.

The second time it happened, I took more notice.

Then the third, I jokingly said “that’s fine, I prefer the sauce to the meat anyway”. And she had the grace to laugh and apologised, said she wasn’t paying attention and offered me what she’d taken off her plate (I declined!).

Now this has happened, I’ve written off the friendship and going to withdraw. Don’t feel like making a scene but if she asks, I’ll be honest and tell her. And if she doesn’t, frankly I can’t be bothered to give her another thought.

I would be tempted to cancel my membership and demand a refund. That way the club also loses out from her selfishness. That might make them rethink the policy.

I'd do this. Mention it as if you're giving them some useful feedback and they might even give you some vouchers to tempt you to stay! Plus they'll all know what a selfish cow bag your 'friend' is.

Well, whilst I appreciate that would be your way of dealing with it @expat, I like to do things my way. No right or wrong way, just different.

Stuff going out with her again! I'd get a refund from the club, too, then tell everyone on my FB after I blocked her, none of that cryptic post crap, 'Starting fresh in friends . . . ' But 'Had to get rid of X. Sick of her bullying and taking me for a mug.'

Continue being her mug by all means, Brandy, then because she's got the measure of you.

What are you talking about expat? I’ve said I’m not going to have anything more to do with her. She’ll work out why. You don’t always have to create a drama to get your point across you know!

She should have shared the vouchers, no question.

However, I doubt you would use them all or get your £60 worth.
Vouchers like this that claim £120 off vouchers redeemable against classes and other purchases!
usually mean a booklet of different printed vouchers with 10% off yoga for OAPs, 25% off advanced dancercise and £2 off drinks when you order 24 coffees and such like.

I'd get a refund from the club, too, then tell everyone on my FB after I blocked her, none of that cryptic post crap, 'Starting fresh in friends . . . ' But 'Had to get rid of X. Sick of her bullying and taking me for a mug.'

I think if I was on Facebook and posted something like that, my friends would think I’d lost the plot!

I doubt you can get a refund, there's probably something that prevents people from signing up as a friend, earning the vouchers and then cancelling and getting fully refunded?

I agree with you Brandy dropping her like a hot stone is preferable to seeking her out, hell bent on revenge.
You can't teach people like her a lesson. I'd walk away from the friendship without a showdown.
Life's too short for that bollocks.

What are the vouchers for? £120 sounds an awful lot - I'll bet a lot of them are not that useful or require you to buy other things. She may feel there isn't enough actual value in them to be worth sharing.

IMHO 60 quid on Pilates is a total waste of money but that's besides the point.

Yes, it's a lot.

Ditch the bitch.

I've never come across a scheme which sends it to the existing member and tells them to share. Although friends might choose to, there's no obligation.
I'd suspect that maybe the person you spoke to assumed people shared rather than it being a hard and fast rule that they can't enforce.

I'd also like to bet that the vouchers are 20% off if you book 3 class types, which I hate as you usually end up spending on things you don't really want to save a pittance.

Do you still want to go to the class.

Could you email management to say "part of the enticement to join was that I was told Friend and I would get £120 of vouchers to split between us. Having joined, I asked Friend for vouchers and was told that they were only for her, and they have been spent. I was obviously misinformed/mis-sold so please can you refund my membership as it was only financially worthwhile with the voucher incentive, and it turns out I was never entitled to them."

Worth seeing what they say . . .?

Well it was grabby of her not to share, especially when you brought it up but it was grabby of you to bring it up. You would have joined anyway.

Brandy - there is an opportunity to be assertive here - to make YOURSELF feel better. You don't need to be aggressive but text is great for making a point in a non confrontational way. People like her don't care if you drift away they wont even notice. So send something patronising and shaming........ 'I am disappointed that you ..... (some other witty MNer will come up with the rest...)

Also your other friends will have noted her bullying ways - you wont be the first she has done this to - would discuss it amongst the group on a one to one basis - just a simple 'what do you make of this..' no doubt loads of other shit stories will come out of the woodwork.

I doubt you can get a refund, there's probably something that prevents people from signing up as a friend, earning the vouchers and then cancelling and getting fully refunded?*

Maybe they will recall the vouchers....

Okay I think she's a disgrace, but that aside:

When she recommended it, did she mention the vouchers? Or did the receptionist hang her?

If she mentioned the incentive before you joined, then yes, she's being greedy and mean. If she didn't, and you weren't expecting anything, then leave it.

But honestly the curry behaviour is disgusting, what a greedy so-and-so

I agree with you Brandy dropping her like a hot stone is preferable to seeking her out, hell bent on revenge.
You can't teach people like her a lesson. I'd walk away from the friendship without a showdown.
Life's too short for that bollocks.

Thanks @IlostItInTheEarlyNinties. I like to pick my battles and this one just isn’t important enough to waste the energy on. She was someone I hung out with locally then at Pilates, not part of my wider social circle. Yes, I’ll probably bump into her at a class but I’ll just smile and go my merry way!