To be a bit envious of friends labour? *lighthearted*

[FGSholdthedoor]

Me and DF have been discussing the lovely post childbirth stuff as she has just given birth to her little baby.
She said she has a teeny scrape and apart from that no stitches, no tears, nothing, nada. It doesn't even sting when she goes for a wee!
She's up and about and not wobbling like I was for weeks a penguin and generally has no issue whatsoever "down there".

Is this even normal/possible? Her baby was 8lbs so not exactly teeny either!
I vividly remember the pain and dread I felt for weeks if not months post my LO everytime I needed the loo (TMI - turned out to be undiagnosed fissures).

AIBU to feel a bit jealous?

Definitely possible. Delivered my 8lb14oz DD without needing any stitches and the recovery was pretty straight forward tbh... definitely no pain when peeing and downstairs felt back to normal pretty much instantly :)

I Felt horrible after my first birth. Then I gave birth 6 months ago to a 9lber. Not even a graze (water birth) I was in Tesco’s and Dominos when she was 8 hours old!

I had a forceps attempt and ventouse birth with DS1 (with his over 90th centile head) and still only a neat little episiotomy that healed in two weeks and didn’t cause undue pain. Instrumental assistance at birth doesn’t always means bad injury thankfully.

I was lucky with both mine - DS1 had an episiotomy (was hypnobirthing) but had a brilliant OBGYN so only had a slight ouch when I peed for the first few times. Stitches healed in a week, beautiful vagina ever since (I assume, I didn't look). I was up and about the next day, felt like I'd been hit by a truck and a bit bruised but otherwise fine.

DS2 was an epidural birth, I slept until 6am when I was 10cm, pushed him out in 3 pushes, no graze, no tearing nothing. Felt physically more tired with him though as I didn't have the crazy euphoria hormones dashing around my body. But no physical lasting anything really.

I was extraordinarily lucky that both my pregnancies/labors and deliveries had very little impact on my body or mind. It could so easily have been different.

Sorry , my second birth was lovely, recovery was amazingly easy, and ds2 was a baby who not only agreed to sleep fairly often, but would even sleep without being held.

If it makes things any better I thought I would die in the post birth period with ds1, and my birth with ds3 was not fun at all (and he's 3 years old and I have just enforced weaning and getting him to sleep now takes hours and he screams and it is awful).

My second the birth was traumatic and he was 9lb... had suction but came out without a scrape and felt totally normal the next day, so it is possible even with assisted birth. My first was easier and didn’t feel normal for a week or so. My third is due in jan so will see how that one goes!

I was extraordinarily lucky that both my pregnancies/labors and deliveries had very little impact on my body or mind. It could so easily have been different.

Sorry, I want to caveat that with.... "but the after pains I experienced with DS2 were 100 times worse than my labor pains. I was crippled on the floor on Day 3 with DS2, whilst he nursed, and each time he sucked, my uterus would expell a surge of blood along with the worse contractions I'd ever experienced. It basically looked like a murder scene, me on the floor with blood spreading out everywhere, hunched over in pain, sobbing.

Awful awful. I can do pregnancy/labor/delivery brilliantly, but the afterpains combined with the hormonal blues afterwards blighted my first week with DS2 frankly.

I think it's ok to feel envious. I've recently found myself getting jealous of others' easy labours and that has caught me by surprise a little bit. But I think that if you've had a rubbish experience you may be a bit traumatised or just disappointed that you had a hard time and others had it easy.

I had a 52-hour labour which included a pointless trip to hospital and being told to go home 3cm dilated as labour wasn't progressing quick enough (bloody painful though!), returning home only to find that contractions were less than five minutes apart, and being told on the phone that there weren't any beds available. I spent a long time at home desperately trying to find a hospital that would take us in, whilst struggling with the contractions. After about 40 hours of labour I was finally taken in to a hospital where it still took around 12 hours to get the baby out. I was tired and only had gas and air and a shot of pethidine available and I thought it wasn't going to end well. My son was finally born but I had a 2nd degree tear and had a stupid amount of stitches and recovery took ages. It all sucked and I do feel pretty crap about it sometimes.

However, my son is here and he's lovely and my bits eventually bounced back so I feel like I shouldn't complain really. But I'm sure it's only natural if you can't help feeling a bit envious.

Sorry. This turned into a (poorly written) novel.

Yanbu! #1 was 27 hrs of back to back, stuck baby ending in episiotomy and forceps. Ouch.

#2 was a 9lb11oz baby who appeared in less than 1.5 hrs from first contraction. 3rd degree tear, 2.5l pph. Went into shock as too quick.

But!! #3 restored my faith in child birth. 😂 Went in for induction at 39 wks due to strep B and other things. They were too busy so did a sweep and went home deflated. Watched crappy TV with DH and ate snacks all afternoon, went to bed. Waters went in the night, faffed around talking to maternity ward, decided we should come in. Started getting mild period pain type contractions as we left. Got there, hooked on to monitor and they were regular, close etc. They decided I may as well move to labour ward as there was a room. Just before we moved I was 3cms, about 45mins after contractions had started. Within 20 mins of that I was 10cms and pushing. Nice controlled delivery unlike rocket like #2, 8lb6oz baby appeared about 2 hrs from the start of labour, tiny graze and 1 stitch. Went home the same day. Stung a bit to wee, but leaning right forward helped. Up and about the next day, right as rain within days.

Said baby is now a nigh on 7 wk old chunker.

And yes yes to the after pains, I never really noticed them with the first two but with #3 they were like contractions all over again.

My first I looked and felt like death. Lost tonnes of blood, vomited in labour due to not agreeing with the gas and air, hurt all over, fanny full of stitches was scared to go to the toilet at all and god them stitches are were awful as they dissolved! 11 hours or so long and 3 of those alone were pushing the giant baby out my poor battered twat.

Second time round 27 minutes was my official labour according to the MW (I wasn’t really keeping check on it tbh) DC2 shot out in one push at under 7lbs and not only were no stitches there was barely a graze and I was walking DC1 to nursery the very next day which was over a mile round trip without so much as mincing a tiny bit. Even I was shocked. I was prepared for the post-apocalyptic hell I’d had previously instead everyone assumed I was smug. It was more relief.

I've had 3 births where I didn't have even a graze. Just easy spontaneous labour which I enjoyed each time just using gas and air. I even had a retained ruptured placenta removal in the delivery room and didn't have a scratch.... Then my 4th was an emergency csection and completely floored me I couldn't walk for a week and it took longer than that for me to attempt a poo

I had a 7lb 14oz baby with forceps and an episiotomy.. labour was absolutely horrific for several reasons failings but I was up a few hours after, no stinging, could walk fine, no pain and no problems!

First labour I was a mess, weeks of recovery from forceps etc.

Second labour I had just a tear which was fine and I'd have been running around the same day except I pulled back and rib muscles pushing while leaning over the side of the pool.

Third labour another tear but was grand within 24 hrs.

It’s luck of the draw I think! My first and smallest baby gave me a graze and that was a stinger! The next 2 were 1lb bigger and I didn’t have any tears or scrapes with them.

Ive been lucky both times.

First time I was hospital already with mild pre eclampsia symptoms and went into labour in the night. I was ignored and fobbed off by the midwife until she got off her Star at 6am and panicked. She promptly stuck me on a monitor. A passing consultant said 'you know me, no pain relief'

I had gas and air and pethidine which made me sick. Pain relief didn't touch so I begged for an epidural and loved it. After a few hours, a drip, scalp monitoring, episiotomy and ventouse, my first was born.

Second time was a dream. Niggles at 11pm. Painful drive to hospital, rocked up to a and e and panicked the staff . Whizzed up to labour ward, shown how to use gas and air properly and let nature take its course. At one point the midwives stood at the back talking. Baby was born by 2.30am

I was really lucky when I had my DD (34 years ago). At 10pm,I was sitting in the pub with my friends. I went into labour at midnight,DD was born at 5am. I had gas and air only, a very small tear that was so small that the doctor said it wasn't worth stitching as it would heal better on it's own (which it did) and stitches would make it more uncomfortable. When my DD had my DGD (now 11) she said she hoped she would have it easy,like I had. No such luck. She had to be induced at 39 weeks,as her blood pressure had gone up,she was in labour for 39 hours,and ended up having an emergency c-section as the labour wasn't progressing,DGD's head had got stuck. So unfortunately, not like mother,like daughter.

I had zero damage when I had DD, and she wasn't tiny, just shy of 8lbs. I had been doing perineal massage with almond oil for weeks beforehand in preparation and it worked. I had HG for the full 40 weeks and genuinely felt better than I had for months the moment I pushed DD out, being slightly sore was nothing in comparison to the HG. We moved house two days after she was born and I was moving heavy furniture and boxes with no issues.

I had a very long, exhausting birth the first time and I actually think my vagina was the only thing that came out unscathed

I had a natural delivery in the end but my eyes were bloodshot from pushing, my arms and shoulders and legs were all in agony for weeks due to how I was pushing (using the bed for leverage and basically holding up my own body weight). I had to have a cannula put in my arm it came out of hand whilst in the midst of pushing so I ended up with bruises all up one arm. Was questioned about said bruises by the HV weeks after delivery as they were that bad!!

I was a wreck. No tears or grazes 'down there' though.