School secret Santa

[HarveySherlock]

Yesterday DSS's primary 7 class drew out their secret Santa. The teacher was handing out names. When one of the boy's got DSS's name the boy said something along the lines of dss won't be getting any thing from me. The teacher then took DSS's name from the boy and put it back in the box to be redrawn. When the boy's name was drawn the teacher put it on her desk not giving it to anyone. So by the end DSS's name went to another child and the boy's name remained on the teachers desk.

The boys mum came up to me at drop off this morning telling me that her son's name wasn't given out and he won't be getting a gift. As the reason for this was his comment about dss she thinks I should have a word with the teacher in her son's defense.

Background: this class has been together for years. This boy isn't a friend of dss for a long while as the boy is unkind and picks on other kids. This has lead to him having very few if any friends. I don't know what the school is doing about this.

I told the mum to speak directly to the teacher and that I wasn't going to intervene. I don't know if the teacher has left him out.

But it has me thinking. If the teacher has, is she being unreasonable to use secret Santa as punishment?

I think to some extent the teacher can enforce some sort of discipline. Teachers are not only educators but character building mentors. Sure the mum should talk to her son about how he behaves in class. It's not about the teacher's action but rather more of the parents responsibilities to be the primary teachers of their kids behavior.

I don't think secret santa is a good idea to be honest, you only have to look at people who have said they were the one who was left out. Enforced present giving isn't great really.

My DD taught at a school that did this and she would have spare presents but the child still knew they were left out. DD prefers her present school where teachers just take in chocolates to share out. Everyone treated the same.

I think the teacher acted wisely.

I am a teacher (secondary) and I dislike secret santa among the students as it tends to leads to tears - we don't organise them but some students do them among themselves. There are always people who are sick or on holiday at the end of term so someone doesn't get their gift. Just not worth the hassle.

With Primary, a nicer idea might be to bring something for a class party or craft supplies for a Christmas card making afternoon.

Good for the teacher - zero tolerance of using present giving as an opportunity to be nasty and manipulative.

But - I think secret santa is a lousy idea for school children. Some families can't afford an extra present, some will forget or whatever, I think it is up to the school to give each child a little gift for christmas if they deem a present necessary. When I worked in a primary school we got each child in the school a book from Santa, - oh the hours of lunch time and break spent wrapping them all up !

In another school I used to buy all of my class a little gift (from my own pocket) - something small - but they all got something and they all got the same so no one felt hard done by.

I wouldn't expect a teacher with a class of 25-30 kids to buy a present for each of them.

@meatyLoaf I'm in Scotland so they are about 11.

Having thought more about it, the teacher must have a plan for this child in terms of discipline as his behavior is poor.

I saw his mum again at pick up and she didn't come over to me. So I'm thinking she must have went to the teacher.