To remove PILs from my life?

[PatterPitter]

PILs have always struck me as grandparents that are interested in photos of them with their grandchildren to show their friends, but not the actual children themselves. Their grandchildren from me, that is. They see their daughters children 3-4 times per week and often babysit and have them overnight even though she's twice as far away as me. I split from their son in June; they last saw my DC in early May and haven't met their 3 month old grandchild despite being invited over. I get the odd text message asking how they are but it tends to evolve into berating me for leaving their (abusive) son.

I think they're saving my photos of the DC from FB and showing them off as if they're ones they've taken and it's making me furious. I'm totally alone with four DC and no support (their son isn't seeing them and I have no family even on the end of a phone) and not once have they asked how I'm coping or if I need help. Yet their daughter had a dental appointment yesterday and they had her kids during the appointment and then overnight so she could recover from a filling. A fucking filling!! I, on the other hand, was on the school run 12 hrs after giving birth because I had no one to help.

AIBU to remove them from FB and stop sending them updates, leaving them to get in touch if they're bothered? If I see another post of them baking with their other GC #loveourgrandchildrensomuch I think I may not be able to bite my tongue any longer.

It sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree - fuck them

Patter just remove them, you absolutely do not have to have them on Facebook, why would you, especially when your not with their son anymore.

Why don't you write them a message telling them exactly how you feel, I think it would do you the world of good. I think you need to.

Then delete, they are useless, like the ex.

I would write them an honest letter but a kind one and just be sincere about your feelings. Then if no change in behaviour you can block

People like that can twist things around to make you look like the bad one. Tread carefully. You know them better than any of us do. From what you wrote you have every reason to cut them off, just be smart how you do it so you don't come off as "preventing the loving grandparents from seeing their grandchildren who they miss so much." Could get messy. Maybe invite them over to spend time with the grandchildren a few times via text message so you have it writing and if they keep declining it makes you appear to have made an effort to facilitate a relationship between your children and their grandparents. If they accept then it could be a positive experience or negative experience. I don't know. You'd know better. Another way is to stop using facebook for a little bit or appear to have stopped using facebook with the excuse of being busy with newborn and children. See how they react to that. It's hard being a single mum and grieving from a hurtful relationship. Look after yourself and your kids. I went through tough breakup with my baby and no support too. It's hard. I used paper plates and disposable cutlery to at least cut down on dishes coz I just didn't want to do them anymore. I found any little tiny thing that made life easier for me and did it. No-one but you and your kids have to know that you cheat at housework. I don't have a dishwasher and at the time was sleeping on a 2ND hand mattress on floor, no car, no washing machine and 2ND hand fridge leaking water on the floor. Gotten a bit better since. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is do whatever you and your kids need to do, to have the best life you can and forget anyone who gets in the way of that.

When you post things to Facebook you can limit who sees it and can specifically block people from seeing your post. That could be another way to keep them on your Facebook (so they don't create a scene about you removing them) but not allow them to see and then take the photos you post? Although having to do that with everything you post would be a lot more hassle than it's worth and I would rather just block them completely so they can't get any photos you ever post and remove them from your life.
Do they bring anything to yours and your children's life? Do they make any of you happy or are they helpful in any way? If the answer is no then there's no reason for you to keep in contact with them as they clearly aren't bothered as awful as that is.