To think DH can just let me be ill for a day or two?

[lookingforthecorkscrew]

I’m 12 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I’ve caught DS’s foul chest cold. I have had horrid morning sickness this time around, and the coughing is making me gag and retch.

DH is working from home until Jan on various non-pressing creative projects. Things he needs to do but with no particular urgency - he took himself off to a museum the othe day for a nice outing.

DS finishes nursery in ten minutes. DH looks in the fridge and starts freaking out that there’s nothing for lunch. Then suggests I ‘pick something up’ when I go to collect DS, whose nursery is nowhere near any shops. I initially agree but after about three minutes I realise he’s being a rotten shit and say ‘Can YOU go to the shop while I get DS’ - cue hissy fit from DH about having to put his trousers on and go outside (he’s working in his pants today).

My ears are ringing and I just want to hide under a blanket all day. AIBU to send him to the shop? Is HE BU? And how can I call him on it?!

So you are are pregnant and ill and he thinks it’s your job to organise his lunch?

Frankly, it is not your job to do that even if you were not pregnant and ill and, as others have said, he should be stepping up now and doing the nursery pickup too. That’s how a man who loves you would behave.
I’m so sorry you’re having another child with this selfish waste of space.

Yep I agree, take your clothes off to your pants and just tell him to go do it all. You aren't well he should do it all, mine would defo. If he was working in his pants I'd tell him to get dressed lol, god,

Jeez this is bloody annoying!! He has various creative projects on the go?? You're making his fucking Child, for god's sake!! And you're ill!! Ask him which is more important! What a massively selfish douche.

And yes definitely take your trousers off, and anything Else you're wearing that doesn't naturally lend itself to lolling in bed and go for a self-nurturing snooze. His part doesn't stop at bloody insemination!!

Tell him you can buy lunch at soft play and you’ll see him in 3 hours...

So he would seriously 'send' you to the shop even though he knows you're ill? He is totally unreasonable.

He really should be doing the nursery run and going to the shop, that's what he expected from you so not unreasonable to ask the same of him. I would inform him you'll be going to bed as soon as he comes back - he's looking after DC for the afternoon...don't ask him, you tell him.

He's a knob for not offering to collect your son and get food.

The only thing I can possibly think of in his defence is that perhaps he's thinking that if you're well enough to want to walk to nursery to pick your son up; you're well enough to go get food and stop you both having to go out, but he should still be doing both.

If he'd really be floored by that; you have big problems.

He sounds like a fucking dick

I'd just say I feeling rough, please sort out son and lunch then go to bed if I were you . How creative can he be if he can't work out how to pick up his child and grab some food?

"I'm really, really not feeling well. I need to rest and sleep so I need you to collect DS and sort out whatever food we need for a couple of days." Then retreat to bed.

You should go to bed and rest as you're not well and pregnant. Your DH should pick up your DS and organise the meals. He needs to stop being so helpless.

oh the old 'but i'm not wearing any trousers' chestnut! What a cock. Tell him to get the wean and the food.

On Monday i had similar. DH 'WORKING from home'. He spent the whole of Sunday out at his hobby and i left dinner for him when he returned at 11pm. Told him to take half and put half in the fridge for lunch Monday. Monday came, was taking various dc to school/drs etc and FIL (who has dementia) turned up at the door with a gashed hand at lunch time. So i'm rushing round. Then at 2pm DH comes downstairs and takes a whole packet of biscuits out of the cupboard, moans he's starving and goes to take them all upstairs for lunch. I asked him why he hadn't had any of his actual lunch and he said (no joke) 'i don't know. Why haven't i had my lunch ? I've been sitting upstairs starving.' Wtf. I laughed in his face. He went off muttering about his marriage 'service agreement'.

DS will prob want a nap around 1ish so I’m planning on having one myself. Happy to spend the afternoon on the sofa with DS watching Christmas films, I just didn’t want to trudge to blimmin Tesco in the cold!

Anyway, husband has returned with cheese and ham and is making toasties, so life could be worse.

Just climb into bed and refuse to move. This is the only way with some men.

When I brought our newborn baby home from hospital, I went out to the supermarket, taking baby with me, to get something for dinner as the fridge was empty. And to make it worse, I apologised for only providing a ready made pasta dish.
I have thought about that day a lot since my divorce and have finally realised two things:

1. he was a selfish self-absorbed child
2. i was a doormat. No doubt if I had sat down and said I couldn't go he would have done something (even if it was just ordering takeaway) I didn't. I put up with it for a quiet life and ended up resenting him so much I left him. Don't let him treat you like you are his mum.

I am also in the early pregnancy sick/tired hell and have a heavy cold, yesterday DH did drop off and pick up of DS from nursery, while he was at home he cooked lunch and then had to go get a flight for Work at 7pm! He told me to conserve energy because he’d be away for a couple of days. He’s by no means perfect all the time but he knows how sick and tired I get in first trimester and he steps up.

Every time I read a thread like this I think why the hell are all these articulate, competent women putting up with these complete twats??

I always wonder how anyone finds such a specimen attractive enough to shag, much less procreate with. I also wonder what are all these 'work from home' jobs that pay huge whack.

Don't put up with this ever again. He sounds like a whiny slacker in the parent and husband departments.

Every time I read a thread like this where a woman is having a (very justified) moan, I'm always surprised by how many people pile in and list how fabulous their husbands are, how they would immediately cook them their favourite dish and absorb all duties for the day, how they wouldn't even have to be asked, how this is absolutely to be expected and anything else means OP's husband is a useless lazy fuckwit.

All maybe true but would you really speak to someone like that in person? I'm in a shitty relationship, ah that sucks I'm in a great one type thing...is it helpful?

OP knows her husband is being lazy and selfish, that's why she posted. Hope you enjoy your toasties and get better soon!

I think some of the pps who have said what their husbands have done when they are ill might be trying to tell the OP that this isn’t normal and no, not every man expects a full maid service.

OP I’m glad he’s done something now. And YANBU in the least.

I was ill and sick yesterday and I text my ex h (we don't get on really) and he agreed to pick our kids up from school.

He didn't even have to answer my text if he didn't want to.

My ex husband !

I DID enjoy my toasty! And I washed down two paracetamol with a class of dirty cola, as I’m not allowed any of the good drugs. DH is now upstairs. In his pants.

I’ll get back to feeding my foetus quinoa and kale soon, I promise...

What?!

If anyone treated me with that level of contempt and lack of care and understanding it'd be the last time.

Minor Ahhh fair point, but still... :D