Not to have a row at 7.30am because i asked dp to pick up a paper and some clothes off the bathroom floor!

[LoveMyGirls]

Apparently as i now get up after him and am not "working" as many hours as him (as in getting paid) then if he drops everything at his arse i should pick it up and if i dont i'm lazy and it must be true because even his mum and dad think so!

He normally bath's dd2 when he comes home unless he's going straight out or working late. I don't mind bathing dd2 but as its the only time she see's him i think its right he does it (i'm usually doing other stuff like tidying kitchen, taking mindee home)

I feel im on a hamster wheel and constantly tidying lately, i dont think i'm being unreasonable to ask him to help by picking up after himself sometimes - or am i?

Shouldn't have said it's the only time dd2 see's him because he does see the kids at weekends i just meant during the week, most weekend he takes the kids over to his parents on a saturday for a few hours so i can catch up on cleaning/ accounts etc so he's not a complete arse!

don't know..... have been meaning to have this conversation with dp for ages why should I pick his clothes up from the bedroom floor? why should I put his boxer shorts in the linen basket that is three inches away from where he dropped them on the bathroom floor??? Why? Why??

But I know as soon as I start it, he'll start on at me about what I don't do, and he'll go on about him getting up at six in the morning and working twenty nine hour days fifteen days a week, while I sit at home watching neighbours.....

so generally I just pick them up and bite my tongue.

Of course not. Me and my DP have had a few words lately about the fact that since I went on mat leave he does nothing round the house. I've been back at work f-t since October!

Oh I know the feeling now I am a SAHM, DH's just don't get it do they !

I'm not a sahm I'm a childminder and am working roughly 6 hrs a day at the moment. But im still up at 7 and usually still doing still into the evening last night i did dinner at 8,30 and was washing up at 9pm.

My biggest bug bear is when he sits on the sofa with his feet up watching the football while I take washing out of the machine, hang it up and put in another load.

what gets me the most is that I do have days where I can't really be bothered, and I do the bare minimum - he never says anything. Then I'll have a day where I do SHITLOADS and I'm exhausted when he gets home (but still cooking tea, I hasten to add) and he finds the one thing I haven't done and picks on that!!!!

I did collar him in the bedroom the other day, I pointed at all the clothes on his side chucked on the floor and said "do these all need washing, or will you wear them again?" he looked at them and said I could wash them if I wanted.

IF I WANT??????

Squonk, to me that is an excellent excuse to let them fester. If they start to smell sprinkle some bicarbonate of soda on them.

Go on, you know you want to be evil

Agnes

Or Squonk - you could wash them all on a very hot setting .....

LMG - I'm a bit speechless that he takes the girls out whilst you do more work on a Saturday afternoon. Why can't everyone help pitch in with the cleaning whilst you do your accounts then you can all play together?

It started when dd2 was a baby, his parents would want to see the girls and I would want to potter about the house and clean up/ do washing and sleep if i hadn't had any.

As dd2 got older it has become a habit and i find it useful, everyone seems happy with it, we don't do it every weekend but alot, sometimes i do what i have to do them do over and meet them or go out with my friends. I guess saturday is kinda my day off, once i've cleaned and done all washing etc i'm free to have an hour to myself, he is very good with wanting me to have freedom he's always saying you can go out, go and meet such and such or whatever but i feel we don't have the money or i'm too tired most of the time or i have too much other stuff i should be doing. I'm a childminder (as mentioned) so i like to keep the house clean ready for work on a monday (at the moment i've lost a couple of clients so i'm not as busy)
On a sunday we do whatever needs doing together then go out/ stay in etc.
We also take it in turns to have lie in's.

We have agreed to take it in turns to bath dd2 and for him to pick his stuff up off the floor more often rather than leaving it for me.

As for pitching in - its much easier and quicker for me to do it on my own, we tried that theory out the other week and it didn't work it came to 8pm on saturday the place was still a mess even tho we'd all be doing stuff all day.

Dd2 is 18mths so just drags everything back out before i have chance to clean properly. Dp does one job at a time - hes very anal and would spend an hour cleaning the sink while the rest of the place looks like a bomb has hit.

Maybe this weekend i should take the kids out to the park for a picnic while he cleans - but i know i'll get back and it won't even be half done

He ususally goes out one or two nights in the week and very occasionally goes out on a weekend day on his own like in a couple of weeks he's going to the football and will be out all day.

Also i do know i get more help than most of you ladies but i'm not grovelling and being grateful that he does what he does, imo its his fair share, in this day and age when women are expected to look after the house, kids, cook, fuck and work it is not enough that a man goes to work and does bugger all else.

I want my kids to have quality time with thier dad on thier own, i also want quality time with my dp so evening's are for us, sunday is family day, saturday is me time and in the week is my quality time with my kids. dp if home on time and not going out will usually spend an hour a night with our children too.

I gues sit all works out along the way.

I think this morning i was fustrated as i cleaned the house yesterday ready for a lady to come and see me with her baby and then he came back and chucked clothes and paper all over the floor in the bathroom as if to say i dont care you spent lots of time cleaning yesterday ive worked all day so i dont have to pick it up. I'm not a hamster so why do i feel like im on a wheel some days!

LMG i can totally understand where you are coming from as your house has to be tidy for your client's children. But why WHY is it that people are so fecking obsessed with tidy houses, who really cares a shit if there are clothes on the bed room floor, when it gets too much, put them away - make a game of it with the kiddies. LMG this isnt really directed as you as you do have to keep the house clean. My house, though clean, is an absolute tip, i used to care, now i couldnt give a flying f"*@. It does sound like your hubby does a fair bit around the house, my DP is pretty bloody fantastic i have to say, he plays with DD when he gets in from work, we bath her together, he gets her bottle while i dry her and read her the first of about 50!!!!!1 bedtime stories, then he comes up and listens to a story with her and then does the washing (loads DW)up and makes the front room habitable.