Why can't he shut the f@@k up?!?!

[MyKidAreTakingMySanity]

DH CANNOT shut the hell up. He has to have a final word. Or more. I think I married a child.

DH and the kids just got back in. Dinner was ready, waiting for them. I told DH and the kids that mummy was just watching the ending of something on TV and asked them to be quiet or eat at the dining table instead of the living room. It's a pretty simple, fair request. I only needed 10 measly minutes peace to watch the end bit of a TV program I won't have time to watch later. But no. My 5 and 7 year olds are fine keeping quiet. Little angels even! But DH simply MUST start whistling. FUCKING. WHISTLING.

I'm ashamed to say I flipped my shit and told him off. So he's acting childishly mock insulted. DH: "Oh I'm sorry. I'll shut up"

Me: "Thank you" (exasperated sigh)
...... so I put the show back on.

1 minute later.

DH: "I guess I'm not allowed to speak"

Me: (pauses TV show and looks at him, he shuts up then I press play again)

DH: "I don't want to stop anyone watching their tv programs"

Me: (slams remote down and gives death glare)

DH: "Sorrreeeeey."

Two more minutes.

DH: "Careful kids, mind you don't talk now!"

I gave up completely when he started playing the drums with his cutlery and plate.

WIBU to smash him in the face repeatedly with the Sky TV remote until I feel less irrationally angry?

Or maybe should I start vacuuming when he has Game Of Thrones or The Walking Dead on? Maybe the telly will need a dust and polish a few minutes in.

Sorry. I know IABU. But... AAAARGH!

If it was only ten minutes, and something that you could pause, then surely you could have found time to watch later rather then mess up the family evening meal. Why spoil it for everyone just for a bit of TV but I also don't understand why they didn't eat at the dining table and just leave you to it.

How did we manage before on demand telly, drives me mad when people interrupt or try and talk to you, would definately watch to smash them with the remote.

Sorry I would actually have killed him by now. Literally.

Totally ignore him. He wants a reaction so piss him off by not giving him one.

It will be hell on earth trying to watch while he's being an attention seeking man child but itl be worth it as you'll be pissing him off just as much.

Alternatively , kill him!
Good luck.

@Hillbillyhotel It was the Supergirl/Flash/Arrow/Legends of tomorrow crossover episode.

So I wasn't actually watching one programme, I was watching four. Therefore I believe that I am perfectly entitled to be four times as annoyed, right?

Why should the OP apologise? The DH was a fucking knobend who knew exactly what he was doing. I'd get the vacuum out every single time he tried to watch anything. Teach him not to be such a wank badger.

YANBU. Do you need a shovel to bury him? You can borrow mine once I've finished using it to wallop my DH and bury him for talking to me constantly when I'm trying to read my book! Gaaah!

Nothing important either. Just wittering, or trying to show me stupid memes on his phone. I don't care, shush!!!

I think next time he's engrossed in something would be a great time to try out every single ringtone on your phone. Don't forget all the other types of alerts. test those fuckers out.

Ominously myth is starting to behave like his father, incapable of staying silent when watching television; I'm treated to a nonstop utterly inane commentary, overriding the programme presenter. I've taken to turning off the sound, taking out my hearing aid and putting on subtitles which actually irritates him hooray!
His DF beat all previous records by talking nonstop for a five hour car journey; I threatened to get the train back if he did so much as open his mouth on the way back 😡

@Molly499 it wasn't some "family evening meal" it was a takeaway for half of the family as the rest of us had eaten ours earlier. DH and 2 of the DC had nipped out for a little while and I had dished it out when they got back. It's not like we had to catch up at the end of the day dining together or anything.

No way would I get the hoover out. That's far too much like doing something useful to dickwad.

Buy a recorder/kazoo/harmonica.

myth? I wish.....
DH

I prefer human contact to tv any day

The OP isn't neglecting her family and watching wall to wall tv. She just wanted 10 minutes to finish watching one programme in peace. The OP's DH is showing attention seeking behaviour. He needs to give his head a wobble.

@mykids LTB!

You were being rude by insisting on watching the tv and his behaviour reflected his annoyance at that.

XH decided to interrupt when I was watching one of my very few programmes (Doctor Who, series 1, since you ask, and we didn't have a catch-up thing if they even existed then). I explained I was watching it and would appreciate it if he'd keep the comments for afterwards. He then started up some insulting comments about one of the characters. I said "Look, just fuck off and die, will you?" He promptly did the toddler lower lip thing and turned away all dramatically, saying "You want me to DIE!"

Well, since you mention it...

My DH does this kind of shit around eating as well as TV viewing.

We have bacon rolls on a Saturday for lunch. We do some chores together, bacon time, cup of tea, do rest of chores together...that's how we've agreed it's supposed to happen.

Reality = chores, I cook his roll, he eats his roll n drinks his tea in peace on the sofa with the telly on while I cook mine. I sit down with my food. He's eaten all of his so starts jabbering on with a thousand questions about the rest of the days activities with telly still blaring away, gets hurt look on face if I don't answer immediately even though my mouth is full. Then he'll stand up and say "right, we'd best get on with it then" while I've got half left still to eat and a full cuppa. I've tried nicely pointing out that I didn't bug him while he was enjoying his but occasionally snap and tell him in no uncertain terms to shut the fuck up and piss off so I don't choke on my food but it makes no difference either way, still does it.

He's not a bad bloke, just a bit oblivious.

Knowing this doesn't stop me developing the occasional desire to smash him in the face with a house brick though.

@Anniegetyourgun
It was Doctor Who?

Your response was completely warranted. I'm currently trying to catch up with series 8 when DH goes to bed because he doesn't "get" Sci-Fi. He doesn't know his Cybermen from his Adipose!

It was, and iirc he was interrupting in order to be rude about Billie Piper. I LTB, of course. (To be fair, there were one or two or a hundred other reasons.) Ironically I don't even watch telly these days.

Lux cook yours and leave him to his

Lux cook yours and leave him to his

Oh yes -please do the petty interruptions when hes watching something he loves. It takes time to teach them the error of their ways.

My DH sits across the settee so he isnt looking directly at me unless he is speaking to me.We both have tablets and faff about on those but often the TV is on too.So if hes watching something he likes then I still am Mumsnetting engaged with something Im interested in too. We often sit in companionable silence.
That is until I put earbuds in to listen to a video . Then hes all chatty and ready to engage in deep subjects like the Irish border question . How DOES he do that? Hes not even looking at me and has no idea that the earbuds are in but I can guarantee that every time I want to listen to something he does this. Men huh? Cant live with them...

A whistler?, never in the field of human behavior has such an activity cased more annoyance:-(

With apoliges to Winston C!

Don’t use the sky remote, it will break and you won’t be able to re-start the programme. Pick something of his to do it with. Mr Foo’s shoes are really heavy. I’d use one of those.

You were being rude by insisting on watching the tv and his behaviour reflected his annoyance at that. How very dare she ask for ten minutes of quiet, the cheek of her 🙄

I'm not understanding the logistical problem that stops enough bacon for two rolls being cooked at once

Or stops the male in the story cooking the rolls half the time thus second.

I've never seen this tiny vagina operated grill or frying pan.

How DOES he do that?

He feels a Disturbance in the Force, duffaho. He instinctively just KNOWS. the bastard