To expect DP to pick up DS sometimes

[Charley50]

My DS does an activity two evenings per week. I drop him off or sometimes he gets the bus. DP isn't his dad but we've been together many many years, around 10 years.

I pick DS up from the activity, and sometimes I ask DP to, for example if he's had the day off work and I've been up since v early and at work all day. DP rarely offers and huffs if I ask him but will do it if I'm v tired.

Am I being unreasonable in asking him to pick up my DS? I feel it's just part of the general give and take in a relationship, and wish he would offer sometimes, just to be nice. Maybe though it's my DS, my responsibility. What d'yall think? (Sorry so long!)

Is your relationship a team or is it you +ds versus dp?

I think you should pick him up, sorry. Just part of being a mum, tired or not. Or maybe his Dad could do it

If DP has had the day off work why shouldn't he pick up DS?

YANBU. He should help out too surely?! I don't live with my BF but if I did, I'd definitely expect him to collect my DC from clubs now and then. When you live together, you become a family. Or else what's the point?!

I couldn't be with someone like that. Is it his job? Of course not. But I'd want to be with someone who would want to so those things for my family. Much in the way my OH helps my mum out if she needs it, and he's happy to do it. It's generous.

It's not me and DS against DP, no. In some pArts of our lives we are a team, but this makes me feel we aren't. If he was his actual dad I'd be really pissed off that he never offered.
His dad doesn't live nearby so that's not an option.

How old is ds?

Its unfair to measure dp against ds' dad as thats not who he is.

But if you all live together then everyone should be doing stuff the family needs and pick ups are part of that.

Does he do other stuff for ds without being asked?

DS is 13. DP used to do more stuff for him/ with him than he does at the moment, but then DS is very teenage and mainly into doing his own thing.

At 13 does he need picking up?

I think he should sometimes. My dp picks my dd up from her club training sometimes, or from a friends if it's getting late, or drops them off. I do it mainly as he's often working away, but when he's here he probably does it more.