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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mobility car

33 replies

Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 09:59

My mum is severely disabled and is largely looked after by my stepdad who also has health issues it just about manages and has carers. I live about 20 minutes away and go over at least twice a week, get shopping, sort out stuff for the house and whatever else they need .
She had a mobility car which was replaced recently and has only 400 miles on it. She has just been told by the DVLA that she can’t drive anymore and can’t physically do it anyway. Sdad drives them in his car, which is much larger and has room for her wheelchair in the boot. He is very fond of his car and won’t give it up ( although I suspect he won’t be able to drive in a year or so)
The ridiculous thing is that my Mum CANNOT give her mobility car back unless she pays a penalty of several hundred pounds so it will sit outside their house unused for over 2 years so we have discussed her giving it to me to use. It does not cost us anything for me to be added to the Insurance
So the WIBU if I brought the car here ( permitted under the guidelines)and used it for going to her house and for any other running about for her? It seems like it’s allowed but it seems a bit morally wrong as well. I have my own car, as does DH so we don’t need it but we have room and obviously I wouldn’t have her disabled badge as well.
If I crashed or anything how could I prove my journey was for the benefit of my Mum ( which is what the rules say) and is it a bit morally dubious for me to use her car. Other wise it will sit on her driveway unused and probably seize up.
I can’t actually take her out in it though as the wheelchair/scooter thing won’t fit in the boot.
All opinions welcome

OP posts:
teaortequila23 · 04/12/2017 10:06

YABU if you didn’t have a car to get to her I would say yes take it but only use it to get to hers to care for her but since u have a car I think it’s just silly you would even bother.

bostonkremekrazy · 04/12/2017 10:12

I think the rules now say that if you live more than 5 miles away you cannot be added as an additional driver.
Would this apply to you?

wasonthelist · 04/12/2017 10:21

and probably seize up.

Eh? No it won't.

Spikeyball · 04/12/2017 10:23

Wouldn't it be better to give the car back so losing a few hundred pounds but then she can claim the hrm payment instead?

ButtonMoonLoon · 04/12/2017 10:26

Oh, I would encourage her to give the car back.
It seems pointless anyway if her wheelchair/scooter doesn't even fit in it. In fact, that's making me wonder why on Earth that particular vehicle was chosen in the first place?

NurseButtercup · 04/12/2017 10:27

I can’t actually take her out in it though as the wheelchair/scooter thing won’t fit in the boot.

YABU because of this - why has your mum chosen a car that can't fully support her mobility needs? That's the entire premise and justification of the scheme - to keep people mobile.

Morally your options are change the car to a model with a larger boot so that you can take her out. Or give it back.

Which is cheaper give the car back and pay the penalty or continue to pay the monthly payments for two years until the end of the contract period?

Sidge · 04/12/2017 10:28

If you return the car early the maximum she would pay would be £250, I believe.

I would do that because then she’ll have the money instead (about £58 per week).

So in a month she’d have recouped her money.

No point having a car sat there that nobody needs.

Aquarius26 · 04/12/2017 10:38

My mother gave her mobility car up last month 2 years before it was due to be renewed, not because of being unable to drive but more so because of financial issues so she could no longer afford to drive it anymore, mobility scheme said they wouldn’t charge her a penalty for it because of this but I think it just meant she wouldn’t receive the £250 bonus that you normally receive when the car is handed back after 3 years aslong as it’s not in bad condition.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 10:49

Ok, to answer a few questions
I live 5 miles away so that’s ok
Yes, she shouldn’t have chosen such a small car but after she did she had an OP which has sadly reduced her mobility so she now can’t walk at all, whereas she could walk short distances before.
She won’t pay the £250 and won’t claim the money ( don’t need it apparently). I realise that should also apply to the £250 but it’s not my decision.
I thought that sitting a car on a drive and not moving it for 2 years would knacker it but I’m no expert so I’m happy betold I’m wrong
If it WAS my call obviously I would choose to give it back but like quite a few old people with health issues facing a loss of independence my Mum and sdad are very stubborn over very small things , for example ther house is very unsuitable for ther needs but they won’t contemplate moving. I could write loads more and may do so at some point in the caring for Elderly Parents section for support but this was purely about the car.
The choices at this point are that I occasionally drive it or nobody does but if it wouid be wrong for me to do so then I won’t - I WILL keep trying to persuade her to give it back though but I don’t fancy my chances.

OP posts:
sashh · 04/12/2017 11:00

She won’t pay the £250 and won’t claim the money ( don’t need it apparently).

That doesn't add up, she must already be claiming for her to get a car under the scheme. She is paying £58 a week for the car.

That's £6K! I think she might also have the option of buying it from Motability, I know you do at the end of the contract.

If you are doing things for your mum like shopping then legally you can use the car.

bostonkremekrazy · 04/12/2017 11:01

If you cant even take her out in it when you visit her, I would phone them
If your mums concern is loosing the money which you stated in the OP - I would call them and say the concern is mum CANNOT return it without paying the penalty, and I bet they simply take it back with 400 miles on the clock, and no penalty, and then your mum has the HRM money in her purse each month for taxi's if needed.
Problem solved

JonSnowsWife · 04/12/2017 11:08

Do you mean they don't need the money she'd get instead of the mobility payment? I'm sorry but she doesn't need the money why would they apply for PIP? Confused

TheFairyCaravan · 04/12/2017 11:15

This doesn't make sense.

She doesn't want to pay the £250 to release the car back to Motability but she's claimed the PIP even though she doesn't need the money?

Why would either of you want to pay £6k for a car that's going to hardly get used?

Spikeyball · 04/12/2017 11:17

It sounds like she is finding it difficult to accept she won't drive anymore. Giving the car back makes it final.
She sees the car as something she needed (like a medical aid) so if she doesn't need the 'aid' in her eyes she doesn't need the money.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/12/2017 11:18

This doesn't make sense

I agree.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 11:21

boston she would be furious with me if I “went behind her back”
They are both facing huge lifestyle changes due to their health and while they are generally lovely they get very upset if they feel any loss of control over the few things they CAN still have some say in.
I don’t fully understand the scheme to be honest but she says she gets the car instead of money, part of the problem is that I think they paid a lump sum to upgrade the car or something.
jon no idea about benefits they do/don’t get but she has had a mobility car for many years and as far as I’m aware she hasn’t seen an assessor, I could be wrong about that though.
If it was up to me the car wouid go back but it’s really not

OP posts:
Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 11:24

I think spikey has it.
I’m not paying anything by the way.
I agree it doesn’t make sense to us but to 2 elderly formerly independent stubborn people with very bad health and limited mobility who are finding their world shrinking daily then apparently it does!!!

OP posts:
clairethewitch70 · 04/12/2017 11:26

She won't be claiming PIP. She is probably still on DLA and won't be reassessed due to her age.

OP although she has been told not to drive, do you think part of her reluctance to get rid of the car my be that she is still using it?

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 11:32

No claire she certainly isn’t driving it, it wouldn’t be physically possible.

OP posts:
Bumbumtaloo · 04/12/2017 11:34

OP have you had a look at the website?

www.motability.co.uk/

Bumbumtaloo · 04/12/2017 11:36

Ugh sorry pressed send by mistake. If you would genuinely be using the car to help your DM then it’s not an issue. The 5 mile rule was bought in because people were not helping the person who’s car it is and living miles away.

Original poster
Hoppinggreen · 04/12/2017 11:41

Yes bum I have and it looks like under the guidelines it’s ok but it does seem wrong for me to drive it if she’s not actually in the car with me.
Ironically I could take her out in my own car!!

OP posts:
bostonkremekrazy · 04/12/2017 11:45

I meant call together....not behind her back.
I understand it must be very hard for her giving up her independance....having the money for a taxi her wheelchair will fit in may give her some independence back Flowers

NurseButtercup · 04/12/2017 11:45

If your name is added onto the insurance and you only drive the car when running errands for your mom, then you don't need to justify why you're doing this with anybody. It's an arrangement between you and your mom.

If you decide to go ahead and do this, then I suggest you ensure your name/details are on the account with Motability so that you can discuss any issues with car (car accident/repairs etc).

Bumbumtaloo · 04/12/2017 11:47

I have a motability car and because of my health conditions only go out once or twice a week but my husband uses it everyday but it is being used for my benefit - food shopping, picking medication up etc. I guess it comes down to what’s seen as misuse.

Mobility car
Mobility car