To wonder where my sex drive has gone to.

[Quiddichcup]

I'm single and have been for a few long time. For the first few years post divorce, I did lots of dating and had lots of sex, mostly because I could.
After a while I was more interested in more serious relationships but still had a casual something every 10 months or so when nothing was happening, to scratch an itch, as it were.

I last had sex 2.5 years ago. I had been on several dates and thought it was going somewhere, slept with him and then immediately after he was very critical of my body and then i never heard from him again.

I vowed there and then never to sleep with someone until I was 100% sure. And so I've been celibate for a very long time.

I've got two men in my life who are very up for a shag. I get kind of interested and then when I actually think about them coming round, it turns my stomach.

I don't know where my sex drive has gone, I used to have a very high drive but I honestly think I'd rather watch a film and have an early night than a pre arranged date where they think they are going to get laid.

Is there something wrong with me?

I'm going to sound like a maiden aunt but oh my God they sound revolting and I'm not suprised you don't like them.

The one that disappeared is so hedging his bets and has other women as potentials lined up.

The last time I started dating someone was 22 years ago thank goodness I just think all this ease of messaging and pics and everything makes dating in the here and now awful for many people.

I don’t think it is your sex drive it’s the men. What they are doing is a complete turn off. Nothing wrong with being picky and as you said a bit of wooing would make you feel much more inclined to do it!

I'd take a step back from the pair of them and think about what you want long term.

Honestly don't think anything is wrong with you, it's just you've been turned off instead of on, so to speak!

I have pcos and am on the pill

It's very likely the oral contraceptives that had lowered your libido.

The Pill and Desire

Even if it didn't used to have this effect that can change as your own hormone levels change with age. Go off them for a few months or ask your doc to try a formulation that is less prone to do this. It's more of a problem with some types of HBC than others.

Good luck getting your mojo back.

I'm in the 'it's not you, it's them' camp. Their attitude is incredibly unattractive and self-centred - do they give you even the slightest indication that they regard you as a human rather than a potential shag?

I also think the last horrible man has affected you on a deeper level than you realise and caused you to withdraw for self-preservation purposes.

I'd take some time to reconnect with my own body and desires, without reference to anybody else. Pleasure yourself rather than pleasuring these deadbeats.

Oops sorry op! It wasn't obvious to me that's what you meant

I’m not going to comment on whether you should or shouldn’t be sleeping with the men. That’s up to you.

Original question re sex drive however might be down to a combination of being on the pill reducing the libido and the old more you do it more you want it.

Lord trash- absolutely, hence being celibate for 2.5 years. I have been on dates in that time but if the guy tried it on I refused not wanting a repeat of the awful situation. And then I'd not hear from the man again anyway, so obviously made the right choice.

I have backed away from these two guys since it became obvious that it was just sex they wanted.