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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Birthday AIBU

33 replies

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 13:47

More of a WWYD than an AIBU (I have a feeling I'm the one being U, but I've no idea at the moment about how to get around it).

The situation background is that I'm working part-time in London, and looking for a full-time job (also in London, for various reasons).

I'm living with relatives at the moment, as I don't think I'll be able to rent somewhere in London until I have a more steady income (i.e. until I have a firm job offer for a full-time job).

Anyway... my birthday is coming up next month. I'd really like to celebrate it with my friends, but the problem is that we live very far away from each other, so they'd need a place to stay for the party. In the past, I've got around this by inviting them to my parents' house, with my parents' permission.

I recently asked my parents if my friends could stay at the house this year, and they've said no. This is because my parents own another property (House A), and they're moving things from House A to House B (the house where it would be ideal, if possible, to have the party).

I've tried to come up with some solutions. I've asked my parents if I could help them clear out part of House B so that there could still be space to hold a party (a space could be cleared downstairs, for example). They've said no to this, which I can understand.

The situation is that I can't see anywhere else that would be suitable to hold the party (in terms of having enough space to host it). House A has enough space to host everyone (there would be 12 people at most at the party), and it's fairly straightforward for people to travel there. House A isn't big enough. Obviously, the ideal situation would be if I could host my friends at my own rented house, although this isn't possible unfortunately.

What do I do? Do I suck it up and not have a party? Just feeling a bit down, as it would be really nice to celebrate.

OP posts:

Balaboosteh · 03/12/2017 13:53

So don’t have a party. Simples.

Original poster

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 13:55

I understand that that's the reality, Balaboosteh. It just seems a bit of a shame that I won't be celebrating my birthday at all.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 03/12/2017 13:55

Go to where your mates are and ask to kip with them and go out in their town?

Santasbigredbobblehat · 03/12/2017 13:56

Go to where they are, have a night out and stop over?

Original poster

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 13:57

They all live in different places. That's the problem.

OP posts:

kaytee87 · 03/12/2017 14:00

Just don't celebrate, it's only your birthday on one year. Not a big deal.

tampinfuminragin · 03/12/2017 14:00

Can you not hire a party flat somewhere and all stay there?

OhNoOhNo · 03/12/2017 14:00

How many friends? Could you share a Premier Inn?

MyKingdomForBrie · 03/12/2017 14:02

Get a place on air bnb, you can get v reasonable rates and all chip in. Your parents have said no and that is that, they have every right to do so. You want a free party but they don’t want to provide the venue.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/12/2017 14:02

Air bnb in Central London? It would be fab

Leeds2 · 03/12/2017 14:03

Couldn't you meet up in central London, and then all go back to your own homes afterwards?

Original poster

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 14:04

kaytee I didn't celebrate last year either, so it does seem like a shame not to celebrate this year. It feels a bit shit to just have a birthday on your own with no one to celebrate with, to be honest.

tampin OhNo you're geniuses :) thank you so much :) I hadn't thought of that yet.

OP posts:

kaytee87 · 03/12/2017 14:06

Meh it wouldn't really bother me, there's been a few years I've not celebrated my birthday- too busy at work, in hospital after giving birth, at friends weddings... different strokes for different folks though.
The party apartment hire is a good idea.

Original poster

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 14:13

Thanks everyone :)

OP posts:

RedSkyAtNight · 03/12/2017 14:14

Well will any of your friends offer a floor/sofa to sleep on(or do a few of them live close enough to spread the ones who don't around). Then you can go out for a meal/a few drinks and have somewhere to crash later.

But booking a cheap hotel/air bnb seems like the most obvious solution.
I'm presuming you are quite young ... because the days when 12 people are happy to crash on your floor are.likely to be over pretty soon.

ZoeWashburne · 03/12/2017 14:17

Honestly, adult birthdays just aren’t that big of a deal. If this was a big one, like 30, I could understand.

Take the train go visit one friend and stay with them. Otherwise, just all get together another time.

MotherOfDragons22 · 03/12/2017 14:25

They've said no, what part of that did you not understand the first time you asked? You're a grown up I presume, so why were you not able to process that answer. Grow up.

MsHarry · 03/12/2017 14:26

Rethink birthday plans. Why does it have to be party? Go out with your friends for a drink/eats.

expatinscotland · 03/12/2017 14:30

YABU. So you rent an AirB&B or don't have a party, do something else. You sound like a teenager.

Bluntness100 · 03/12/2017 14:30

Id also go to a cheap hotel in a convenient location.

Why can’t you do it at your own place?

MonumentalAlabaster · 03/12/2017 14:32

I'm confused OP.

You say "House A has enough space to host everyone" then on the next line you say "House A isn't big enough" - which is it?

expatinscotland · 03/12/2017 14:32

'Why can’t you do it at your own place?'

Because she doesn't have one, says she's living with relatives.

BackforGood · 03/12/2017 14:36

Not sure why you need 'a party'. 12 also doesn't seem many for a house party. Why can't you 'go out' to mark your birthday - a meal, dancing, drinking, some sort of 'experience' (cocktail making or whatever) whatever floats your boat. If people want to come, the can book a B&B or AirBnB or kip on the floor of others they know, or you could all travel somewhere less expensive than London (perhaps nearer to one of them?)

Original poster

RangeTesKopeks · 03/12/2017 15:06

It's my 25th, so yes, to me, it's a milestone birthday. Thanks very much to everyone who's been kind and helpful :) to the others who've told me to grow up or said that I sound like a teenager, it would've been kinder to provide some constructive advice but no worries.

OP posts:

Blackcatonthesofa · 03/12/2017 15:29

Their house, their choice. Maybe you can rent somewhere nice in between everyone and make a nice holiday weekend of it? Could be really fun.

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