to receive a phone call from FIL regarding his wife's condition in hospital post op

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

MIL was admitted into hospital this week for a hip replacement.

DH and I have contacted the hospital and have found out from them that the op was successful and she is doing okay.

However, to date there's been no word at all to us from FIL . I suppose he thinks, "well they can phone the hospital anyway" but does anyone else think this is a bit odd. Or is it just me and this behaviour is "normal".

BTW he has not spoken to his SIL either. I've been updating her.

Perhaps he has expected you to ring him to ask how MIL is, and is sulking because you haven't?

if my spouse was in hospital i would expect people to ring me

IME men(some men) dont think of doing things like ringing round, they just deal with the matter in hand..his wife and prob doesnt think you will be annoyed at him for not ringing you, im sure he has enough on his mind, even just being on his own at home and doing things for himslef that his wife usually does will be enough to keep his mind elsewhere

He maybe is a bit pre-occupied.

Knowing him, that is one possibility.

He does not drive any more so it takes him three buses to get there. Any offers of us transporting him have been refused (also he can natter incessantly to absolutely anybody on buses. As he has a free travelcard the deep dark pockets where he keeps his money is also not disturbed).

I don't really talk with him much anyways; the only thing we have in common is that we share the same birthday!!.

I would think it is down to you to call him - he has enough on his mind.

I agree with everyone elses - why can't you call? He might appreciate your concern...and prob has lots of things he's been thinking of.

poor fella, three buses!..ring 'him' ask if he's ok and if he needs anything doing, he may refuse, but its nice to know there are people willing to help him

He's also a lazy so and so as well. Pinkchick is on the money with him having to do all the stuff she normally does (he and BIL rarely lift a finger to help).

Don't get me started on BIL who still lives with them (suffice to say he is a useless waste of oxygen).

We would be ringing him (although I know he would ring us if we didn't anyway).

TBH, we'd be with him (or her) a lot of the time anyway, but he does only live a couple of miles away and he doesn't drive, so us and/or SIL would be offering lifts, work/boys permitting.

oh goodness, last thing on my mind when dh is admitted is to call people, i expect them to call me.

He likes buses - what am I saying - he's obsessed with the bloody things. Also they are free for him to use and therefore does not disturb the deep dark pockets where he keeps his money.

I have offered to take him there - he has refused all offers of help.

dosent sound like it would be 'him' to ring you up anyway, he is dealing with it his own way, so you just ring ward or ring him at home to ask..hopefully shell be out soon and you can visit or even go sooner to hosp if not too far away?

can you pop in to see him when you know he is visiting and maybe bring him some lunch in, sandwiches etc?

Why did you contact the hospital, and not him?
Have you contacted him to see if he is ok while his wife is in hospital...

in other words, yes, you are being a bit unreasonable!

And why hasn't his SIL phoned?

You're all too busy getting in a huff and criticising his bus pass thrift!

I visited MIL today and DH is going in at the weekend. MIL tells me that he (FIL) gets lunch at the hospital canteen.

I would gladly help him out but he has to date refused all offers of help.

"Why did you contact the hospital, and not him?"

He visited with her on Tuesday I think. I had not heard from him at all on Tuesday and she was admitted that morning. I telephoned the ward that afternoon to see how the surgery had gone and how she was post op. Then I phoned her other son (my DH) to inform him.

"Have you contacted him to see if he is ok while his wife is in hospital"...Yes, and he's out on the buses.

"And why hasn't his SIL phoned?". Well if she talked to him she would not get him off the phone because he fairly rattles on a bit. Also she cannot abide the man!.

Ah, well, there's your answer! He hasn't cotnacted you because he's always on a bus or at a bus stop - and he doesn't sound like a man with BlueTooth!

Just be glad he isn't calling you and rattling on!

hospital canteen food can be nasty.