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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couldn't send DC to school like this, so why work?

27 replies

Veryillperson2737 · 02/12/2017 18:30

I have a very nasty cold. Not flu, but definitely more than a head cold. I don't want to get out of bed. However I've dragged myself to work each day, been useless and slow and made myself more ill, purely as my manager has said I'm not ill enough to be off.

I have a fever, constant headache, achey bones, feel dizzy, deep, chesty cough, have thrown up from coughing... But I'm still well enough to work apparently. Hmm

I work round kids and babies, and in a food and drink setting. One of my colleagues now has exactly the same symptoms. (Also struggling through the day.)

But if my kids had this illness, I wouldn't dream of sending them in in case they infected the other kids.

So why- when I work around kids- is this any different?

Why is it acceptable for me to be ill at work and infectious, and be praised for coming in, when I'd be a shoddy parent for sending my kids in in this state?

AIBU to think this?

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 02/12/2017 18:33

I think you're extremely u to go in and probably infect others, especially small kids.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 02/12/2017 18:34

YAVU for going to work infection others. So what if your boss doesn’t think your ill enough. Get a sick note.

BertieBotts · 02/12/2017 18:36

Your manager doesn't get to decide whether you're ill enough to stay at home. UK law says you can self certify for anything up to 5 days.

Original poster
Veryillperson2737 · 02/12/2017 18:37

I know I'm unreasonable to go in, but when I rang in sick I got told I had to come in. We're short staffed (as always) and I would lose my job if I called in sick. I've worked there three weeks and need the money, someone has already lost their job yesterday for the same reason. It's a terrible job, hopefully, short term but I need the money, don't get sick pay even if I did call in sick, and over the possibility of having no job, I can't call in sick. Sad

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 02/12/2017 18:38

Has your manager not connected sacking someone for being sick with being short staffed?

JollyGiraffe · 02/12/2017 18:38

Do you have an HR department? If true then that's not ok.

YABU to go in when you are so ill, but YANBU if you are being threatened with your job Sad

Original poster
Veryillperson2737 · 02/12/2017 18:38

And yes I can self certify, but they will still get rid of me. Currently going to ACAS about a number of other illegal things they do... like I said, they will fire me, even illegally. It's a shite job but currently my only income.

OP posts:
GladysKnight · 02/12/2017 18:39

Is your manager a health care professional? Thought not. Obviously a pain for them if you are off sick, but ffs People Get Ill and they have to be able to cope. Possibly yourmanager is unsupported higher up but that's kind of not your problem?

How have you got into a position of discussing ' how ill' you are? What would happen if you just told them you are not going in because you are ill. I guess they pressed you on the point, you just have to say no sorry I am too ill to work I'll come back as soon as i can. bye.

JollyGiraffe · 02/12/2017 18:40

That's sounds awful, I really feel for you.

Are you able to look for another job? This current one sounds like more trouble than it's worth if they're doing multiple illegal things...

Original poster
Veryillperson2737 · 02/12/2017 18:40

I posted the other day but over other issues: no breaks whilst working it we're busy, sickness in December is 'not allowed' and working regulations for minors is regularly broken.

OP posts:
user1497997754 · 02/12/2017 18:40

Go off sick and go to doctors and get a sick note....go back when you feel better....end of....don't be bullied

Original poster
Veryillperson2737 · 02/12/2017 18:41

I'm looking for another job. But for now this has to be it sadly. It's better than no job!

OP posts:
GladysKnight · 02/12/2017 18:41

Sorry cross posted but they are sacking people for being sensible then complaining they are short staffed!

GladysKnight · 02/12/2017 18:43

Hmm if you get bronchitis it won't necessarily turn out to have been better than no job. I don't have useful advice but i am disgusted that this is the kind of employment people are stuck with.

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/12/2017 18:44

It's not illegal to fire you if you've only been there for 3 weeks, they can let you go without reason. Your manager is never going to say you're too ill to be at work - it's unreasonable to leave that decision to them. If you feel you're too ill to be at work, you're too ill. If you feel your job is too precarious to take time off, that's a different thing.

If she'd sack you for being sick you know it's just a matter of time really...

C8H10N4O2 · 02/12/2017 18:51

What is legal is largely irrelevant to people when they are low paid in the service industry and especially when new in the job. You have to be able to prove you have been threatened with dismissal for being ill.

OP: if you work in a nursery type environment do the parents not query ill carers around the children?

Doggymum88 · 02/12/2017 18:54

I work in the NHS and this is a major gripe for us, especially over the winter.

On the way in we pass a huge sign that says (for visitors) not to visit if they are experiencing the following: D&V, coughs, colds, and numerous other ailments.

The thing is as staff we are expected to attend work with all of those (d&v being the exception). So how comes we can potentially infect patients but visitors aren't allowed to?

It must be the same for you OP. I understand staffing issues but germs and bugs spread everywhere. You wouldnt expect a sick child to not infect others so why would a sick staff member who is spending time with the kids be any different?

Judydreamsofhorses · 02/12/2017 18:56

I am just coming out the other side of a similarly heavy cold, and I did stay off work - it started last Thursday and I was off Friday through to Wednesday, and even now am still coughing and horribly congested. I teach, and given that I couldn’t talk, there would have been no point in me struggling in. This was my first absence since this time last year, and my manager urged me to stay off until I was completely well. Which is as it should be.

Your manager sounds ridiculous. I hope you feel better soon.

VerbenaGirl · 02/12/2017 19:02

It’s your decision, not your manager’s.

tinysparklyshoes · 02/12/2017 19:08

Why is it acceptable for me to be ill at work and infectious

It isn't. If your manager says you aren't sick enough to stay at home and you know different, why not simply say so and stay home?

peachypetite · 02/12/2017 19:09

Time to find a new job?

worriedaboutchristmas · 02/12/2017 19:22

People here are so unrealistic! When you're at the bottom of the employment ladder there aren't options to just "stay off"! It's crap, it's illegal, it's also very very true.

Yanbu op- but this is a depressing part of being adult ime . You work even when you shouldn't. Even when you can't - you just do a shitter job. In the way that as a parent , regardless of how sick you are you still HAVE to parent- that's what it's like in many jobs- see nhs as a case in point here Sad

I hope you get better soon op x

missymousey · 02/12/2017 19:22

Hope your manager gets it too. What a twat.

GetMeOutOfHerePlease · 02/12/2017 19:24

I work round kids and babies, and in a food and drink setting. One of my colleagues now has exactly the same symptoms. (Also struggling through the day.

Is it private daycare? I work in private day care and would be sent home with these symptoms but employer puts children’s welfare before profits and if several members of staff were ill they’d either ask if it’s possible for any parents To keep child at home that day in return for a free day at later date to meet meet ratios, if this isn’t possible they’d close the nursery until staff numbers are back up.

It’s never happened where they’ve had to do this as they are strict with the sickness policy and turn unwell and unwell staff away. I’ve worked i a horrible private nurseries. Staff with d and v preparing food, feeding Muslim children pork, leaving children unattended, notmeeting ratios etc. Some of these had good oftsed ratings too.

Crunchymum · 02/12/2017 19:26

I remember your other thread OP.

That was shocking in itself.

I hope you find a new job but understand you being between a rock and a hard place (a lot on here won't understand why you can't just "walk out").

Practice good hygiene and rest when you can.