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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be furious about this article and cancel my Guardian subscription?

475 replies

whycantwegoonasthree · 01/12/2017 16:50

www.theguardian.com/society/2017/nov/30/children-removed-from-family-home-over-parents-open-relationship

The children weren't removed because of their parents 'open relationship', they were removed because the parents were neglectful and didn't safeguard the children. The headline is a deliberate distortion.

This is a dreadful baity headline/article at the expense of the polyamorous community. I expect better from the guardian - to which I pay a f-ing subscription...

AIBU to cancel my Direct Debit?

Angry
OP posts:
paxillin · 02/12/2017 21:29

Eww.

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:31

She has stated all the way thru this thread that her DP is a married man

exactly! Least somebody else can read.

DarlesChickens61 · 02/12/2017 21:32

Its 4 that we know of Pumpkin. You are correct - from what OP has posted. Its fucking annoying when posters come on and call posters illiterate without RTFT.

Unless Lela is the woman in question? If so she has just found out she is one of 3 sexual partners not 2...

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 21:32

Darles, in another post in this very long thread she did say that one was a man and one was a woman (unless I am high on sleep deprivation and hallucinated that one, OP I'm sure would correct me if I was wrong).

Pumpkin 😂 no that bloody wasn't me! That was Butchy! It's on THIS PAGE! Can you literally actually not read?

LoislovesStewie · 02/12/2017 21:32

But does the DP's wife also have other relationships ( sexually I mean)? Because if not it isn't really an open relationship is it?

KC225 · 02/12/2017 21:33

Brexit killed it for me. Their utter contempt of the 'working class' out voters was loathsome.

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 21:33

I honestly think you should leave it now, OP.

I concur.

It has long been established that OP would not be remotely unreasonable to cancel her subscription to The Guardian. Grin

The rest is merely flotsam and jetsam.

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 21:34

And I never said her DP wasn't a married man?!! Seriously you lot are making my head spin with your bullshit.

And I'm the OP's lover now because I'm not smoking whatever you two are and can still read and understand posts? This is reaching on a whole new level...

LoislovesStewie · 02/12/2017 21:35

I voted remain. Discuss. I did actually.

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 21:36

Lois, just because a door is open doesn't mean you have to walk through it... Could be she is free to have other relationships but doesn't want to? Is that not still open?

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 21:36

Brexit killed it for me. Their utter contempt of the 'working class' out voters was loathsome

So you took up polygamy? 😂

One of the lesser known fall-outs from Brexit...

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:37

No, that’s three. You’re surely not counting the OP as being involved in a sexual relationship with herself?

Oh, FFS. Can we have a head bang emoticon?! Grin
They're all intertwined sexually in some way. OP is connected to Shag Partner 2's Shag Partner in the fact that Shag Partner shags OP.
So these 4 are just the ones that the kids know about as OP said already that there's more they don't know about.
How is that healthy for your kids to know about that? With the parent of a 7 year old happy to talk "sex positively" to them if they ask?

DarlesChickens61 · 02/12/2017 21:38

Well Lela you have come on here trying to convince posters against what OP herself has posted. In fact you are only one of about 2 who cant see the problem here...

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 21:39

Pumpkin, who is Shag Partner 1??? Shag Partner 2 I assume is her DP/The Married Man, and his Shag Partner is this K/his wife yes? So those two and the OP is 3. Who is the other person you reckon her children know about???

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 21:40

And I'm the OP's lover now because I'm not smoking whatever you two are and can still read and understand posts? This is reaching on a whole new level...

Calm down, hen.

I’m firmly on ‘three’ side of the ’three versus four or more’ side of the debacle.

Unless, of course, you are an additional lover and then I may switch sides...

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 21:41

I haven't actually pronounced judgment on whether there's a problem with how the OP lives and if that is a problem for her children, because I don't know enough about it and in any case only have her story about it so not the best material to make a judgment really. I'm not "on her side", fwiw, I'm just annoyed by people making shit up and being deliberately obtuse!

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:42

Oh God, I give up Grin
The very fact it's so fucking confusing everyone says it all!!
Who gives a shit if she/it has the whole of the town tramping in and out, numbers are just detracting from the point.
Do what the fuck you like as an adult, but you don't bring your kids into your sex life in any way shape or form which is what she is doing by introducing them to multiple partners that have the kids asking "do you mind being shared?" for OP to say "sharing yourself around is a lovely thing to do" and that she/it will talk positively about the multiple partner sex with the primary school children.

(whether, it's 1, 2, 3, or a hundred people.)

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 21:43

How is that healthy for your kids to know about that? With the parent of a 7 year old happy to talk "sex positively" to them if they ask?

I’m of the view that one sexual partner is more than is strictly sensible, but I still don’t see how how OP is involved with four people.

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ButchyRestingFace · 02/12/2017 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:49

Its 4 that we know of Pumpkin. You are correct - from what OP has posted. Its fucking annoying when posters come on and call posters illiterate without RTFT.

Thank you! I've read the entire thread, I knew I'd read it from the OP.
Wish people would RTFT.

PumpkinSquash · 02/12/2017 21:51

I’m not a sock puppet either. I just can’t count and prefer tea to sex.

Grin

Tea sounds far less confusing. Bring on the tea lol

Afternooncatnap · 02/12/2017 21:53

Just read most of the thread - long.

OP, I though a poly relationship was when you had three or maybe more people in a group relationship, so all boinking each other.

What you have described is a married man boinking you on the side, but his wife knows. You then have two casual partners. So is this actually a poly relationship or just a bloke having two birds on the go?

Also you say you are in love with the other two, but never see them as you don't have time. Doesn't sound loving to me.

Do you know what love is?

DarlesChickens61 · 02/12/2017 21:58

Who gives a shit if she/it has the whole of the town tramping in and out, numbers are just detracting from the point.
Do what the fuck you like as an adult, but you don't bring your kids into your sex life in any way shape or form which is what she is doing by introducing them to multiple partners that have the kids asking "do you mind being shared?" for OP to say "sharing yourself around is a lovely thing to do" and that she/it will talk positively about the multiple partner sex with the primary school children.

(whether, it's 1, 2, 3, or a hundred people.)^

Exactly this ^^

The fact that her children know their mother is shagging another woman's husband, who has made it plainly obvious he is being shared and has no time for them as he has to see his own family is bad enough.

Whether their mother is shagging another 2 or 100 men or women makes little difference. Those poor children are being brought up to be second best, with little self- esteem and self-respect. No way should any mother be talking sex positively to young children. And in the same sentence post that she will be advocating lots of sexual partners when they hit their teens. I think OP is going to have a shock when her kids hit the teenage stage and have their own opinions and dilemmas.

I still don't get why she is so invested in a Newspaper Headline just because it mentions "open relationship". Sadly we read these headlines just about everyday. They all mention couples, married couples, homosexuals, lesbian couples.....whatever!

These headlines are heartbreaking and horrific. But they are about how children are being abused and let down by ADULTS whose primary role is to protect them, regardless of their gender, sexual orientation, age, cultural heritage or background!

lelapaletute · 02/12/2017 22:01

So I'm the OP's lover or a sock puppet because I can count. Interesting. Please do check my extensive posting history,I think the OP would have to be very odd indeed to set up a whole persona over months on Mumsnet in case she ever needs her corner fought against folk with comprehension troubles. Not going to admit you got it flat out wrong when you said I said something a completely different poster said then? Doesn't exactly give your version of events credibility does it?

It's really not that complicated if you're not a little drunk/hard of thinking. It's just a question of reading the posts. We've all got the wrong end of the stick occasionally but the civil thing to do is just admit it rather than bluster ....