Aibu to be pissed off with my dh

[JamesBondsMrs]

So far this week he's given me 3 days notice for going to his works Christmas party, which must have been planned for weeks. The kids and I have a lot on tonight. It would have been nice to know earlier as it's messed me about.

I discovered that both myself and another family member have duplicated not one but two Christmas presents for him because he re-added the items to his Amazon wishlist after they were purchased. Both of us purchased them online some weeks ago, so returning will be a pain and an extra job I can do without.

He asked his mum to buy our ds an extra small adult jumper, that would not fit him, for Christmas. Luckily it wasn't in stock. He was supposed to organise something else, he forgot (story of my life). Last night I reminded him, he has now asked his mum to order two things I have already bought for ds. He wouldn't know as he has had zero involvement in ds' presents, surely it's common sense to check with me first when he asked ds to choose?

I know none of them sound a big deal, but the little things add up and build resentment don't they.

Strategic incompetence?
You won't ask him to do it again will you?
Either you have to sort out his mistakes or you donit yourself. Win win!

Stop correcting his mistakes for him. That way he will have to sort any messes out himself. It will be him that feels the hit.

At the moment, with you sorting everything out, mistakes are not so inconvenient to him. His mistakes can go unnoticed by him.

My dh is the same. I went off to work yesterday and said can you please phone the hospital to track down ds mri result and phone vet.
Phoned after work to ask what hospital said and he hadn't phoned them. No big deal he says I will phone now. I finish at 2 but like him to meet me at the school when I pick our eldest up. He couldn't yesterday because he was waiting for a phone call back. Half hour walk in the cold for us.

You're pissed off because he added something he wanted to his wish list? That's what the wishlist is for...

If you and the kids have a lot on, why does it matter if he's at a christmas party?

It's the 1st of december, MIL really doesn't need to have gifts bought today, why does he need to sort it today, there's plenty of time.

I'm sure the guy is being lazy and inconsiderate in many areas, otherwise you wouldn't be posting, but these do seem a bit odd, especially the wish list one, as it's the specific complaint against him you're using in the kids gift (not checking between gift givers that it's not something already got) and all he did was add to a wish list!

sirfred he REadded them after they did been bought. I get why OP is annoyed about that as my MIL does the same every year. She thinks “oh I’m sure I added that obviously not I’ll add it again” instead of just checking the purchased section.

Well he doesn't have to worry does he...he knows you're in the background ready to fix all his mistakes. It's selfish and lazy. So many men can't be arsed to take on the mental load knowing that a female is always nearby to do all that boring, tedious, organisational stuff.

Yep I’d be pissed off. It’s the little things all building up that make me fly off the handle at one more little thing so OH thinks I’m getting angry about him forgetting to pick up milk for example but it’s actually all the little things.

CaptainHammer but how does he know they'd been bought?

Things don't get removed from an amazon wish list for the person who created the wish list when someone buys off it (this would be pointless, as they'd know that someone had bought it...) it does disappear from someone else looking at the list of course, but that's quite different.

There's a purchased list, you can see its been bought. If it disappears surely it's obvious someone has purchased it unless you removed it yourself.

I would agree with strategic incompetence but I don't fix his mistakes for him, I learnt a long time ago not too but obviously sometimes it's still stressful. He has text mil, but for all I knew she may have ordered the presents last night, then she has the hassle of sorting it out.

It matters because I thought he would be at home to look after ds. Now ds will have to trail out with me, he has sen and this isn't always easy.