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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it's HIS problem?

14 replies

tiredybear · 30/11/2017 21:34

Friend in terrible situation. Stuck living in tiny house with kids and partner. Partner cheated and now in love with someone else. Other woman married too. Planning on moving to be closer to him/setting up together....but as yet, nothing. Friend is far too lovely and is limping by with partner still living there, complaining he can't move out yet as they can't afford two places etc etc.
Surely, his decision, his problem, right!?
What are my friend's rights here? is there an organisation she can speak to for advice on how to move forward?

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 30/11/2017 21:35

Is the house owned? Who by?

TheNoseyProject · 30/11/2017 21:42

Has she asked him to leave? Couldn’t he move into a b&b/with his parents/with a friend. It must be utter crap for all involved.

19lottie82 · 30/11/2017 21:55

If the house is jointly owned / leased, then she can’t force him to leave, unfortunately.

PurpleDaisies · 30/11/2017 21:57

He’s a total ratbag but whether legally she can kick him out depends on their set up.

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2017 21:58

This really depends on home ownership or tenancy.

Yes morally he should leave, but finances don’t always allow it and many seperated couples live like this for a period.

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2017 22:00

im Guessing as you say partner they are not married ? Whose kids are they? Are they also his?

starzig · 30/11/2017 22:01

Maybe she can't afford to keep the house on her income only. This is quite common where I live. Split up couples often end up together a while after cause rent is too dear for either on their own.

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2017 22:04

Yes, that’s why i asked about whose kids, if child maintenance would be due, and if she could afford to live there on her own.

inabizzlefam · 30/11/2017 22:17

I had to live with my ex for 4 months after we "split". It was dire!

HooraySunshine · 30/11/2017 22:42

Your friend needs to see a solicitor ASAP or even Citizens Advice (free) to see what her options are.

tiredybear · 01/12/2017 20:51

sorry, more info...

They are married, 3 kids together. renting a flat together.

inabizzlefam - how did you cope!? how did you finally get him out?

so..citizen's advice would be the best place to start? Assuming a solicitor would be expensive....?

OP posts:
glow1984 · 01/12/2017 23:15

If they’re both on the tenancy agreement, she can’t just make him leave. And he would still be liable for his share of the rent if he did, so I don’t blame him for staying put.

HooraySunshine · 01/12/2017 23:43

She can start with Citizen's Advice for (free) info regarding her rights, but maybe she could also try Shelter in terms of (free) advice on the joint tenancy situation and options available to her.

At some point, she will need to speak to a solicitor though. The first consultation visit is usually free, but subsequent visits can be expensive.

tiredybear · 02/12/2017 20:36

Thanks so much for the replies..it gives us a place to start.

OP posts:
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