To be upset that thanks to his school not keeping us informed, I am unable to watch Ds1 in a big competition

[Pebblemum]

Ds1 (9) has been training really hard for over two months to take part in the Junior Rock Challenge (a nationwide dance competition involving schools) He has been so excited and from the start i promised that we would all go to watch him perform. Up until Tuesday though we had received no information as to the date or venue and when the school did send the letter out it was only offering us tickets to watch a rehearsal at the school and not the actual performance which is being held in Portsmouth Guildhall. This morning i contacted Ds1's school to ask about getting tickets to the actual show only to discover that they had actually gone on sale at the school last month and had sold out within 2 days. Ds1 had not been informed of this at any time and he isnt the only one, a couple of other mothers i have spoken to never recieved any letters about it either so I know it isnt ds'1 fault.

When i spoke to the receptionist at the school and said that i had never recieved any letter about the tickets she basically said tough!! Even when i informed her that i wasnt the only parent who has had this problem she didnt seem to care, only telling me that i would just have to go and watch the rehearsal instead. To me that isnt good enough. Watching ds practice isnt the same as watching him take part in a big compeition in a proper venue.

I have tried buying tickets from the actual venue but they have sold out and so I know that no matter what i say to the school that, thanks to them, i have missed out on my chance of getting any but i just want the school to admit they are at fault and treat us parents a bit better. If they do not make sure that letters are given out then how can we be expected to know about things.

This isnt the first time this has happened either, ds has missed out on lots of things because the school either sends out letters too late or the teachers just dont bother handing them out. I have been sat here in tears at the thought of having to let ds1 down, he has been so excited about this competition, its the first big thing he has entered and i wont be there to watch him

this is awful - I really feel for you

I would be livid too.

Can't you phone the venue back and explain to them, perhaps they could sneak you in somewhere.

god how useless of them. and how sad for you and ds
I would complain, especially if this is not the first time. they need to sort out their arrangements

Oh that's dreadful
I hope you wring an apology out of the school. Class action with the other mothers affected maybe?

I'm in tears too! That's unbelievably bad! I hope you are going to speak to the head teacher about this. Suggest you take the other parents with you too. This is just outrageous! How long have you got to keep going to that school? If its not long, is it worth reporting it to the local paper, at how upset you are - I bet they'd move heaven and earth to get you a ticket.

I understand how upset you are but can you be sure that your son did not leave the letter in his drawer/desk or drop it in the cloakroom or street. I couldn't count the number of times an angry parent has come to see me with child claiming to know nothing about a letter only to dig it up out of their desk.

That is a shame . And I can totally understand why you were upset. But if the school were only given a small number of tickets it might not have made any difference how soon you knew - I doubt that anyone other than the families of the pupils taking part bought them so there would have been a scrum for them anyway. If there were several school taking part I doubt that your school were given very many in the first place.

To be honest this is just the latest thing in a long list of problems we have had with the school. None of my friends whose children go to different schools seem to have as many problems as we do.

They are quick to get in touch if you dont send in the right dinner money or if your child isnt wearing the right clothes but any other time they dont care, its so hard to speak to anyone of authority as well, they are always (conveniently) in a meeting or off site. Ive already had to complain to the LEA about the schools lack of action when my son was being bullied and although the bullying has now stopped the school never once acknowledged that they had failed to protect him (he ended up in hospital on a couple of occassions due to the physical abuse)so the chance of us getting an apology this time regardless of how many parents complain isnt very likely

I just hate letting my children down

This is dreadful, and awful for the children involved - the school shoulbe be supportive of commitment and mindful of motivation when children work hard at something. They have been completely disrespectful of that, and i would write and complain.

However - with my theatre venue management experience - I would say there will definitly be last minute seats on the day. people will fail to turn up because they have sick children, or booked a seat for family members who don't come, council officials who don't bother to show, etc etc. I would turn up on the day, be very nice and sincere with the box office, and ask if you can wait to occupy any unused seats.

Also call the venue and ask if there is a waiting list for 'returns'.

If I were you, I would write a heart rending letter to the venue

I used to deal with venue managers in a past life (c1843) and they were all (mainly) lovely, ie sorting out tickets for disabled ticket holders that had missed allocations etc

They can bend the rules

go on, worth a go

This is horrible, poor you and poor your son.

I would write to the school and list your complaints, perhaps adding signatures of other mothers who have experienced similar.

Is there anyway you could offer to be a helper/dresser with the school team so you can get there?

Yeah, you're right Berri. I got carried away with the emotion! When my dd was in a inter-school concert, there were very few tickets alocated to our school and although we got tickets, we were so far away from her, she couldn't see us and we couldn't even see her! Its rotten though, but thats still no excuse for the secretary to speak like that.

Berrie that was my first thought too but the teacher hands the letters out (or should do when she can be bothered) to each pupil as they walk out the door and because they leave the classroom when and only when she has called their name there should be no reason for her to miss anyone out
Also the fact that im not the only one to have this problem makes it obvious that the school just did not bother

I know for a fact that the tickets were issued to all the schools before they went on sale to the public and each school had the opportunity to get more if they sold out of them so the chances are if we had been informed they were on sale then we still would have been ok

My DD once spent months rehearsing for a show in the town hall. She was in a little dance routine with her dance school. All in all it cost me about £200 and loads of time ferrying her and her friend back and forward to rehearsals. I turned up to the dress rehearsals, didn't bother videoing it, only to discover that we weren't invited to the actual show! It was for the 'Old Folk' of the town and the tickets were free for them. Got it because I told them my MIL was too frail to cope with the steps on her own. It was heart-breaking when I thought I wouldn't see it.

So I do sympathise. I think it might be a very good idea to contact the Box Office jsut in case.

If there were only a few children in the class who needed a letter she may not have done it like that though. They could have been sent through by the teacher arranging the dancing earlier in the day and it got shoved in his desk/drawer...or they might be in a pile on his teacher's desk. Ring the teacher and find out, the rude secratary won't know the ins and outs!

I would speak to the teacher first and if she can confirm that no letters were sent out then complain to the school.

I would be really angry if this happened to me.

I had to reply to this, just in case you're still keeping an eye on it. It's a bit of a hijack but I can't resist getting this off my chest!! We had a similar experience at my daughter's nursery regarding their Christmas festivities - Santa coming etc. They are such dingbats organisationally, I shouldn't be surprised but anyway...I made a point of working from home on the day of the xmas party because I didn't want to miss it - and afrter confirming the time twice with the nursery staff and inviting a friend with a 9 mo old along- we turn up and he's been and gone! I got absolutely irate. Anyway good thing Santa was the owner's husband because before I knew it he was back in the suit!!

Like your son's school, they just don't seem to appreciate how important this stuff is to parents - in some ways I have to say it's as much for us as the kids - it's a family event. And when they cock up it's disappointing.

These people are so disorganised we've been without childcare on three separate days due to them not having enough spaces for a trip, telling parents the wrong day for a training day, failing to remind people about a training day.