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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you how much you spend...

106 replies

TheSunIsFar · 30/11/2017 13:35

At Christmas - on your kids.

I'm talking relatively speaking.

My DH and I have about £400 a month disposable income between us after all bills and food etc and we've probably spent about £400 on presents for one child this year.

My in laws think this is excessive but other than Birthday and Christmas there isn't many new toys in the year so this is an ideal time to provide with new age appropriate fun toys and we always donate older toys (that still work) to charity.

OP posts:
MycatsaPirate · 01/12/2017 00:23

Monty Yeah I can just imagine a 6 year old on Xmas morning being told he's getting a jigsaw but it's ok because we put £200 in your uni account.

You do know that it costs £9k a year for uni fees? Plus living costs? Unless you are absolutely bloody loaded then your dc is going to leave uni with a fucking shit load of debt whether you put a few hundred away every year or not.

My DD1 is at uni. She is nearing the end of year 1 (feb start/finish) and I have had to subsidise her so much because her placements mean she can't work much and her car insurance is astronomical (but she needs it for her placements). But she worked her arse off from 16 to 18 to buy the car, pay for all her lessons and pass her test and then insure it. So I don't mind helping her out. But even if I had put £200 away every year for 18 years, it wouldn't help much in the grand scheme of things.

Besides, most people save up year round or at least portion off money from their income for the last few months to ensure that they have a good Christmas. It's that one day of the year when hopefully everyone is home together, you swap presents, you eat together, you watch a film, eat some more, dad spends 4 hours fitting batteries into stuff, mum mutters under her breath about the 'fucking mess' and nan falls asleep in the trifle.

Now I am just hoping against hope that my DD1 gets home for Xmas this year. At the moment it's not certain and she may be spending Christmas Day on placement, on an ambulance, doing a 12 hour shift, unpaid because she is short on hours. So yeah, I'm going to make sure she has some presents here to open when she finally gets home to us.

My DSD's mum died this year. DSD is 14. DSD now has memories of all those Christmasses with her mum to look back on. I'm grateful her mum didn't have the attitude that some people have on here because at least she can say 'yes, mum made it brilliant Mum bought me stuff I wanted, stuff she knew I would like'. And she made Christmas what Christmas SHOULD be for a child, magical. She did the snowy footpints in the garden for her, she left reindeer food and mince pies out, they did all the stuff that you should do with your kids. You keep the magic alive, you let them believe and you certainly don't ruin Christmas by harping on about fucking university fees!

youngerself · 01/12/2017 00:34

It depends on what you buy them otherwise and ages. I don’t spend the same on each and never have and no resentment ever been evident
They got Macs at different Christmas/birthdays - about £1500 - and that was literally all they opened from me
I only buy pyjamas and dressing gowns for them at Christmas but other parents may buy as routine perhaps.
Struggling to get 18 year old to come up with anything she wants but if she wants a trip away I’ll give her some cash which she knows so I’m not just spending on crap to open on the day
They have different needs at different times

IHeartKingThistle · 01/12/2017 00:36

Pirate that's the best Christmas rant ever, every word of it.

Havingahorridtime · 01/12/2017 05:19

mycats I just live your post and it's made me feel less guilty about spending money which has been a real stretch this year. DH I and saved all our change in them tins you can only open once towards the kids xmas presents, when we opened them we had close to £300 between us and we doubles it for the kids presents (4 kids). If I had more I would have spent more.

Havingahorridtime · 01/12/2017 05:22

Live = love, bloody auto correct.

wannabestressfree · 01/12/2017 09:18

Amen @MycatsaPirate :) I intend to make our last ones memorable.

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