To ask how on earth I get my DC out of this food habit?

[PatterPitter]

I have four DC - DS is 7, and I have 3 DDs aged 5, 2 and 3 months. DS will eat pretty much everything except fish and broccoli. DD(5) has ASD and so her relationship with food is difficult. It's gotten to the stage where she eats the same foods in the same order each day, and I let her eat in front of the TV while I'm cooking for DS and I. This is because she won't eat at the table if others are eating different foods because she's distracted by the sight/smell of their food and sometimes gagging or sick because of it. Even if we were eating the same thing, she would barely eat any - in front of the TV for half hour is the only way I've found to get anything into her. She won't eat anything cooked besides McDonald's nuggets which we have once per week.

Each night she has:

Cucumber, pepper and carrot sticks
Two big slices of cheese
Ham sandwich
Strawberries

There's not much sustenance to it and she's borderline underweight. A main problem with it is that her 2 year old sister sees her being particular and won't try anything new, either. She wants to eat the same as DD(5) then a few extra bits at the table with DS and I. She is a healthy weight so I don't know whether to break this habit by giving her the same as DS and I and she can take it or leave it, in the hope that eventually she'll try it?

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

What do they both eat for the rest of the day? That meal alone doesn’t sound too bad.

I am keeping an eye on younger DD as she does show some traits but definitely doesn't have the sensory aversion to food that her sister does. I've tried all kinds of nuggets at home but though, very occasionally, she's tried them she doesn't like them.

I'm not particularly anxious about DD(5) and her diet because she always has 5-7 portions of fruit and salad over the day and I know a lot of children with ASD have a much more restricted diet. My friends son only eats ready salted crisps and Haribo at the moment. DD(5) just seems to naturally avoid things that would help her put on weight but generally she has enough energy so things arent as bad as they could be. It just feels wrong that DD(2) never has hot food. When we go out with friends, I see their DC wolfing down spaghetti Bolognese, pizza, sausages ect. I can't imagine that ever being my girls. Even if one day they did eat hot food, they'd still be particular about it being the same brand/flavour/presentation/plate so it'd have to be at home.

Just wanted to say you are actually doing really well! My son also has ASD and doesn't eat a full meal - ever. He has a staple diet of monkey bars, smoothie melts, and caramel snack a jacks. Thankfully he gets DLA as it goes without saying that this is an expensive diet. There are a handful of other foods he will eat but those are hit and miss day by day. He won't sit at the table with us either.

Thank you spelling It is expensive, isn't it? I feel like I'm forever at the supermarket buying fresh supplies.

Sirzy- on school days, DD(5) will eat a banana for breakfast. At weekends when she's less anxious, she'll have (cold) toast and yoghurt too. For lunch she'll have cream crackers with butter and salami, pineapple, cucumber and a little cake or biscuit. After school she'll have some crackers and an orange.

DD(2) will eat (cold) toast, fruit, yoghurt and scotch pancakes for breakfast. Pepperoni sandwiches, cucumber, breadsticks, orange, popcorn and a smoothie for lunch. Crackers and fruit after school.

It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job. The key point is whether you need to worry about your 2 yr old - as some have said above it is a naturally fussy age and she is likely to grow out of it. Great that you are able to maintain a pattern of everyone sitting at the dinner table together. Keep offering - low-key! - the little one something extra or a taste of yours or whatever but try to hold off on worrying for a while.

It sounds like they are both getting a decent variety then. As long as other things are on offer I would try (I know it’s hard) to relax. I think as a society we see “hot evening meal” as the norm but realistically as long as they get the nutrients does it Matter if it is hot or cold?

I would let your 5yo carry on as she is. You’ve obviously found a routine that works for her. I would insist that 2yo sits at table with you and DS for duration of the meal. She’ll soon get in the habit of eating at the table.

Would it be possible to have a meal once a week at the table where everyone eats what your DD(5) would be eating. That way the habit of eating in front of the TV does
not get too ingrained. Even if she doesn't eat a great deal, it is only once a week.

As for one child wanting to eat some of the food her sister does while watching TV,give her smaller portions at the table to make up for that.

I’d start by making meal times a time when everyone sits at the dining table together.

By all means have her carrot sticks etc available on the table, but also have the meal that everyone else is eating available too.

I think eating at the table is overrated. My DH said that when he was a child, he used to dread mealtimes because it was just one long argument at the dinner table, between him, his siblings and his parents. So I would let her eat in front of the TV if she wants too.

My kids have quite busy, stressful lives, so recently I have let them eat their dinner in front of the TV. It gives them a bit of down time and they tend to eat more when they are not looking at it.

As for your daughter's diet, I would try and swap out the ham for something else. Processed meat is horrible. I would also try to give her brown bread (you may do this already?) and I would sneak in some pretty-looking fruits, like strawberries, etc. Maybe just start with one and see how it goes.

Also, can you make your own McDonalds? You can buy Quorn nuggets in the supermarket that are not filled with crap and antibiotics, etc. from the chicken.

I’d start by making meal times a time when everyone sits at the dining table together

She has already said everyone sits together. The 5 year old just eats earlier.

I agree with both posts by zzz. Especially the trying to find something they will eat out but. Ds will eat beef burger thankfully (when to his specification) when out but not at home but it gives us some flexibility to eat out

You've done brilliantly to get her to be that healthy in her limited choices.

With her sister, try a bit of reverse psychology. Poor DD can't have these delicious treats but we can. See if that makes her not want to copy her sister.

Can you start to slyly up the portions? Slightly thicker slices of bread and ham (hard to find, but could be worth a go.)

Will she happily eat rubbish? DS (also ASD) was made adventurous in his eating via a very slow process of praising him for being 'experimental' with different sweets and cakes. It's a tricky one. he was severely underweight. Now he's a bit overweight (mainly due to another physical condition) but his ASD diet of a cheese sandwich and an apple, which he lived on for about seven years has vanished and he eats a wider range of healthy foods now that verges on normal (as long as the veg is on a separate plate .

They were only suggestions zzzzz. Processed meat is not good for you so I was offering alternatives to make the diet healthier. I believe that is what the OP was asking?

I would be over the moon if ds ate ham!

I think threads like this show pretty quickly who understand and who is just trying to be “helpful”

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job with your asd daughter, leave her be.

The two year old...just serve her the same as you and your son. It honestly doesn't matter if she doesn't eat it. She eventually will. Sometimes toddlers don't eat at a mealtime. It's no big deal. If you're worried she's actually hungry, give her milk at bedtime.

First, you are doing amazing! That's a teally good diet for a child with sensory issues.
Leave her food as it is. is she flexible with the yoghurt? there are some made with cream, so tons of calories.
2 year olds are fussy eaters, my older one was terrible (now 4 and eats everything). just keep offering to her, since your son eats well, she has a good example as well. School/nursery should her for her later on as well.

As ling as tgere are no serious concerns snoutbher weight, it ok (don't forget that the typical child in advertisements etc today is in the higher percentiles - we are not used to slim children anymore. as long as the gp isn't concerned, its fine)

When a paediatric dietician looks at a toddler's diet, they look at intake over three days rather than one, because it's no normal for toddlers to eat erratically, nothing at one meal, a lot the next.

sorry for the spelling - on my phone on a train!

I would be delighted if my daughters ate that well.
One has ASD and the other some kind of selective eating thing under investigation.
It's very stressful. I think you are doing a great job.