To not always enjoy being a parent?

[Babybauble]

It's taken a lot to ask this, so please try not to flame me.

I have three DC, but I find myself feeling guilty a lot for not always enjoying the experience tbh. I have a 6 month old boy and 6 and 9 year old girls, I know I would walk hot coals for any of them and their happiness and safety means everything to me, yet I can't help but sometimes feel too tired or that i want alone time and then I feel really guilty.

I'm not sure if I have an unrealistic ideal in my mind, as to me it's very much a mixed experience. The baby is very demanding bless him, I feel a lot of joy and love/desire to protect etc. But sometimes I just feel soooo guilty for not always living upto being blissfully in love with my child. It's bloody hard work sometimes.

I don't think I'm depressed, I often plan and look forward to a lot. But then it's hard to determine if im normal or not?

AIBU to find three DC hard work and not always feel blissfully loved up towards them? I feel that I love them in the sense I would die in a heartbeat to protect them and I have zero regrets about having them, but I'm finding it hard to shake the mummy guilt and social media doesn't help as it portrays a very different story to my experience.

It's only now we are supposed to enjoy being parents ! So much pressure

We have more pressure and busy fucking lives

Technology has fucked us over , the idea we have to do things and be places and have things

Loving the replies! Think I've been over thinking things totally and I need to relax, a lot. Tbh I can't quite put my finger on where I exactly absorbed my high expectations, but I'm definitely going to re-educate myself and stop beating myself up.

It's everywhere though isn't it. I remember friends telling me about the huge rush of love you feel when your baby is born (only had that with DC3), the baby adverts with the breast feeding mothers smiling blissfully. I am aware most people only share the good moments on Facebook but it all feeds my anxiety at times. Feel much better now though, thankyou so much everyone :)

Babyb, we all over think, but it's ok to be annoyed, irrational, stressed , freaked, pissed, mad etc etc but we still love our babies..I loved both of mine, I mean totally in love when they were born..but I still thought about chucking them out of a window but only if they bounce

Reading the honesty is this thread has made me feel so much better.
Most days I do love being a mum and my 3 year old can fill me with so much love, joy and pride as well as have me in stitches with laughter, but I do also have days when I just wish he’d go to bed already as I need a break.
His dad has him every other weekend though it often ends up being 3-4 weeks instead and I always end up feeling guilty, because by those last couple of days each fortnight I can’t help but look forward to those couple of child free days.

Mistress I've had many irrational moments like that too haha.

Summer Its great to see your not the only one isn't it, exactly what I've needed to hear for a long time. It's soon hard when the baby is crying, the older two are arguing, making a mess and then when I get the baby to sleep they wake him and the cycle starts again. Sometimes by 5pm I literally wish away the hours till bed time! I too can identify with counting down the days till my girls goto their Dads too.