To think DNeice should say thank you for Birthday and Xmas present?

[sweetkitty]

DNeice is 24 yesterday was her birthday, didn't know what to buy her as she's incredibly fussy so sent her £70 for both her birthday and Xmas info herbsnk account and sent her a message saying I had put something in there for her. No reply no thanks, although she did like my birthday wishes on FB, I sent her cards too.

She's not working at the moment I have no idea why, apparently she doesn't want to sign on for benefits as it's embarrassing. My SIL basically bank rolls her, phone, make up, clothes, hair extensions, all the best designer things too. It's SiLs business of course except she moans at us all the time about DNeice not having a job, she doesn't have to work though.

DH thinks she's 24 and we should stop giving her presents.

(For context I'm 26)

No YANBU for wanting a thank you. Tbh if it were me who was the birthday girl you probably would have got a text today saying thank you for the money/card and a call in a couple of days time to properly thank you.

Re. not giving presents - some of my DAunts and Uncles do still give birthday and Christmas presents others don't but either way £35 for her birthday and £35 for Christmas is very generous. A £10/20 voucher for eating out/coffee or amazon would be more than enough. Either continue or stop giving presents as you like but be aware that what you do for this DNiece you ought to do for the others (unless some have kids and others don't but that's a whole other kettle of fish) to avoid people feeling favoured.

At 24 she is more than old enough to know better, my 7 year old understands the need to be thankful and will sometimes ask to phone people who have sent him presents before I tell him to, he also enjoys drawing thank you notes Etc (although he has to be in the mood for this).I think your niece is very rude, I would definitely be cutting down what I sent if not stopping it. You are very generous. My mum would still kick me up the bum if I forgot to say thanks.

We give the same amount to her elder sister and again to her DD, the other Dnephew and DNeice are very young. SIL is very generous to our DC so have always felt we had to do the same.