To be furious at use of disablist terms in my child's school. *Title edited by MNHQ*

[SugarPlumLairy]

There is a kid in my daughters school calling her a sz and a rd. My daughter has additional needs but is practically mainstream.
This girl has horrible behaviour to her two younger siblings, her mum, everyone. Today I told her mum that she had to get her kid in line, my girl has a bruised arm from being hit, and is fed up being called names.

The mother said her girl didn't hit mine (I saw it!) and that my shy, mild mannered girl has been going around shouting racist, vile things and telling this other girl that her siblings should've been aborted 😱😱😢

Now firstly, some of the language she accused kiddo of, is stuff her girl routinely spews. My one will whisper to me if she has to repeat what's been said to her, it's entirely out of character, not even going to pretend.

I think it's routine deflection to get out of trouble but apparently useless mumtold her daughter that I was the person complaining so I am expecting all kinds of grief now.

She thinks it's kids being kids. I think her daughter is a vile bully. She says they each probably gave as good as they got but they are worlds apart, my girl struggles to verbalise normal things, she's not going to be able to smart mouth and talk shit to someone the way this other child does.

So.... I figure have another chat with the school ( this other child sings in choir, plays netball and is a smart student, but is unholy terror out of sight of an adult) who will prob do nothing.
Stay well away from this kid who is always wanting to come round and play with kids toys.
Start saving bail money because I am so fed up at this mum notparebtingher child, I mean ffs, if I had more kids and one told the other she should have been aborted.... omg I am so angry...but. Jeeeeeezus surely you'd be raising merry hell if that was your kid?

😱😱😱😱😡😡😡😡😡😡I can't think, let alone type, straight.
My little girl just said " never mind mummy, I'm sorry you saw her do that, don't be sad, it's just a bruise" no, it's not just a bruise, why am I the only one angry? Is it me? Am I wrong? 😫😫😩😩

No. I don't think you are wrong in the least. If my kids used that language there would be hell to pay, those aren't words they're allowed to use. Talk to the school again, although my eldest was bullied at school, the school was bloody useless..."we've talked to other child, they said it never happened" never mind the fact mine was bruised and had torn clothes from being shoved down the stairs and thrown around the playground for having an American accent.

What are the school doing about it? That’s horrendous

That's exactly it Kate, other kid denies all the time, and school think that she is a good student because she doesn't do it front of them. But surely if you get enough complaints you realise there must be something going g on! she is really sly, hangs out with much older girls and knows stuff that is totally inappropriate. Uses language my girl just doesn't have access to. Said my girl called her dad a paki. Ffs just no, we never use that word ever. We don't know anyone who does. It's unreal yet I have heard her screech at her mum that she's a paki lover and her mum just takes it.
(I feel wretched just typing what she says! I don't know how her mum just does nothing, this is her husband, the kids own dad! How messed up?)

You need to get a meeting with school and ask them how they propose on keeping your child safe.

How old are they?

No good will come of taking this up directly with the mum. You need to really hassle the school about this bullying.

This girl has horrible behaviour to her two younger siblings, her mum, everyone.

This rings alarm bells, its often the first indicator of abuse at home. New 'uncle' or step dad on the scene?

How old is she?

YUK awful words!

Don't approach the mother again - as you've seen, it rarely goes down well. Keep going through the school and keep advocating for your girl.

Have sent you a PM op re above

Hi SugarPlum,
We're really sorry to hear that your daughter is being victimised in this manner, and we hope that it is stopped asap, however we're posting to say that we have amended your thread title and asterisked the terms being used against her in your OP because we do not allow disablist terms to be used on the site.

Kids are coming up to 11, this will be their last year together at school thankfully. We'll be going to different schools, which I think is part of the problem? There seems to be some misplaced jealousy that because of her EHCP my kid will go to a "nice" school. I'm going to call the girl Lucy, Lucy thinks the schools we've applied to our posh, they are not. They just have specialised SENSunits. Lucy keeps telling my daughter the schools are for R words. These are mainstream schools. My girl really doesn't understand the fuss and hasn't understood that Lucy is being nasty.

Our current school is less use than a chocolate teapot. I'm always in there, and will be back in again tomorrow to plan for backlash etc.
I've already told the teachers and they said they'll keep an eye out but break and lunchtime seem to be fair pickings😔

My kid has an EHCP part of which is about her memory and how she puts intfo together. It's easy to tell her she's wrong and that instead of ABC happening, XYZ happened and she is confused😒 The school know this.... I am at the point of just keeping her home. I've done it before when one teacher had lost control of her class, told them she wouldn't return till the year can assure her safety. Looks like we're heading there again 😡

Missing the point slightly but am I correct in thinking that people can use the word cunt on Mumsnet with gay abandon but the word re*d isn’t allowed?

OP that other child’s mother sounds like a complete cunt for calling your daughter a re*d. Document it all.

@ahhhthatsbass - missing the point hugely. A r**d is a disablist term. Cunt isn’t. You may think it’s unpleasant, but it’s not hate speech.

I am so sorry MNHQ. I totally understand, thank you for editing my error. Truly, they ARE vile words. I posted in blind fury after reading the other mums text reply. My apologies to all and any I offended.

Honestly, I actually have used the word cunt to describe certain people , no problem there....but even typing those words and the way she talks to/about her parents.... . 😱😱just.can't.