To be completed fed up

[OurMiracle1106]

Of one of my flatmates.

Background- when he moved in he was on benefits so didn’t contribute to gas electric but promised he would clean etc to make up for that and as soon as he was working he would. He got a job but still doesn’t contribute.

Tonight I’ve finally had it, it’s not enough to steal my washing powder and fabric softener and use all my shower gel (if I don’t leave shower gel in bathroom he’ll use my hand soap) but tonight after months of suspicion I’ve come home and the ready meal I bought YESTERDAY for tonight knowing today was a long day has been eaten. He is the only person who has been in all day and I’ve no doubt who it was. (He never buys food as he used to be fed at work and prefers to spend his money on other things).

I’m now having to cook, it was only a bangers and mash dinner but I’ve been looking forwards to it all day.

AIBU to think you don’t go into other peoples cupboards/fridges (we all have our own) and just take things that aren’t yours?

He’s done the same with cereals, chocolate, biscuits etc to the point I now keep them in my room.

I can’t afford to feed someone else!!!! And I shouldn’t have to.

You are not BU. He’s a scrounger.

It must be very unpleasant, I think one of you should move out! (no sarcasm, if you can't kick him out, I would look to live somewhere else)

Defo a scrounger.

Reality is I can’t afford to move out. We all have separate tenancies as it’s rented through an agency so it’s not a case of kicking anyone out, if it was that simple I would have done it months ago

Only other option is to lock things so he cannot access them. I am not sure how that could work with a fridge, I wouldn't like to have one in my bedroom, but would that be possible?

The bathroom stuff I would keep under lock!

I'd be printing a very large firm but polite sign, or even set of rules, laminating it, then sticking it up in several places where it will be clearly seen. Put one on his door. If he takes it down put up another.

Do you have it out with him every time he does something like this? If you say nothing but quietly rage then he will never change. Subtle remarks won't make a difference either to this kind of person. Every single time you need to confront him, be assertive but stay calm. Every single time, even if it's over a biscuit. You will probably drive him nuts, maybe so nuts it will deter him. Tell him he can not live off other people anymore, he's a grown adult and needs to pay his way. Tell him every time he takes something that you will be asking him to replace it. Tell him he needs to contribute to gas and electric. Ask him every single day. Leave him notes to remind him. It might not work or it might be enough of a push.

You could get a mini fridge for your room perhaps?

He sounds like a true scrounger.

You need one of these OP

www.amazon.co.uk/5StarSuperDeals-F-2709908-Fridge-Safe-Locker/dp/B00LPPYOTC?tag=mumsnetforum-21

There's some that are available if you scroll down!

Surely he must contribute to bills, whether or not he works? He can't live for free? Speak to the landlord and keep your stuff locked up. He's a wanker.

What happens when you talk to him about it?

He does the whole “I have no money thing”. Unfortunately our gas and electric are on a meter so reality is that if someone doesn’t pay the others end up having to - obviously no one wants to be coming home to no gas and no electric.

We’ve spoken to him time and again about it but nothing changes. Or he will promise to do it “when he gets paid”.

His rent was in arrears but his parents paid it so I had hoped he would be given a section 8

Will be looking at the fridge locks and feel maybe a phone call to the agents is needed.