To ask for help?

[itnevergetseasier]

I don't really know how to begin asking but I know what I need...

I've been incredibly depressed (still am) and my home which was already hard - no money to decorate and needs a complete renovation (council flat) has got into a real state. I just can't get on top of it.

I don't invite people in as im embarrassed by it. Because of this I'm finding it really hard to book a cleaner although this week I have about £30 that I want to see if I can do something to make it better

I need to find someone non judgemental who'd help me declutter while they cleaned, and basically just help me to get back on my feet again. I did Marie Kondo a few years ago but haven't kept up with it so it's not actually massively cluttered but just feels it to me and I never have the motivation on my own

I've toyed with going to social services but my child is otherwise happy and healthy

Where in London are you OP? I’d be happy to help.

Have you got a Facebook group for your area? I would ask on there for a one off job and explain what it is and how much you can afford.

@Dragongirl10 it seems like that... but I've started every day in a row for a fortnight and I just get the basics and give up whereas if I let someone in my home for this purpose I know I could do it

@ifyoulikepinacolada South East, are you near?

If I posted on fb then all my friends and family would know... and I already feel like such a failure at life

Honestly, don't worry about what a cleaner might think or say, it doesn't matter! I had many cleaning jobs when I was a student, and most people who employ a cleaner really need one!

What really matters is how you feel, and if you think a cleaner would help, just get one.

I have a cleaner, and it helps me keep on top of things. She does the every day things, which means that I have time and energy to tidy and do special jobs like clean the oven or clear out the garage.

Perhaps you could start with a window cleaner? Might seem less intrusive for you.

You do have to get used to having a stranger clean for you, but it's totally worth it.

Oh I wish I were close. That’s the kind of task I love to get my teeth into!

OP, where in London, I’m in NW and will happily come and help.

I had a similar thread and with the power of MN and their encouragement I managed to sort it with help from a friend and it was life changing.

And don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, you’re getting it done and that’s what counts x

It's an SE postcode, I feel a bit vulnerable saying exactly where at risk of outing myself to neighbours and friends I want to hide how bad my MH has been from. I can respond in PMs

I literally have about £30 though which is where I'm not able to offer much of a deal to anyone not very local or I guess who's in a place where they need cash in hand fast and are sympathetic

Our local fire station has a team of volunteers who help people declutter. Maybe see if anywhere local offers that?

Do you regularly have £30 spare? I’d go with therapy rather than the cleaner tbh as that could help you feel more motivated.

I already have therapy. I have a problem that can't be solved really, only accepted and I keep daydreaming it will just all work out while ruining things.

I don't have it to spare usually, just happened that I was given £30 I don't usually have and thought chucking it at my place would be most effective in getting better

I’m north OP but pm me and I’ll send you my email and we’ll see if we can figure something out.

Thank you, have done x

To be fair @Caulk I've looked at the hoarding images and it's only a 2/3 at the most so it's not really that, it's just me needing to get on track again and feel ok about the place.

If I was in the headspace to do it alone, I'd have done it

Try to do tiny tiny bits at a time and you’ll suddenly realise that one space is clear without you doing too much to it.

This is really good advice from Gibble. Little and often is the way.

You could make a list of all the MAIN things that need doing. Do ONE. Every day. Don't try to do more.

Clean your windows (tick it off).
Do your skirting boards (tick it off)

etc.

Don't try to do too much all at once - you won't succeed (voice of experience here!) and you will get demoralised.

Gets of those Magic Erasers- they clean anything and everything (almost) with just water. They really do make things easier.

I've been in the same place you are and I have every sympathy - it's easy to get into and not easy to get out of.

Wishing you every success.

where are you based oP I wouldn't mind helping if I was nearby

It's things like very grubby windows

Doors that need a scrub
Skirting that needs a scrub
Cobwebs on the ceilings
A balcony that needs rubbish cleared
Surfaces that need dusting and decluttering
Limescale around taps needing removing
Floors that need a good sweep and mop

Honestly, OP - none of that list sounds like anything a cleaner won't have seen before or be happy to crack on with. To be perfectly honest, it could apply to my house depending on time of day/week!

Just contact any cleaning agency and see if you can get a one-off deep clean for £30. Have a look on Groupon etc., sometimes there are deals for this sort of thing which would be good value.

Alternatively, if you really think it's at a level where you need someone to understand it's MH related, then perhaps you could get in touch with MIND or go via GP/similar and ask if there's any place you could get signposted to.