To wish DM hadn't told dsis about MN?

[Gaolbird]

Dsis is one of those types who post random sad one liners on FB when things are a bit shit. Has done for years. More recently she realised that it was getting v negative and possibly ppl weren't as sympathetic as before and maybe found it a bit of a drag. (It was quite a large proportion of posts at one stage. )

I sometimes mention having read MN to DM, who has rightly figured that commenting on here helps me work through my issues. I've been here for nearly 10 years I think, under different names, and it's really helped in a number of situations.
DM is going to tell/has already told (?) dsis this as another place to post her problems. But some of my posts are pretty identifying if you know me well, and there's plenty of detail I haven't wanted to tell anyone IRL.

AIBU to feel put out that all my previous stuff is in danger of being revealed to dsis?? I used to post here because I knew she didn't have an interest in it!

Just change the odd detail of your posts in ways which won't affect people's replies.

So instead of "my two DD's aged 8 and 9 have a friend that I hate!"

You say "My DS aged 10 and his sister aged 9 has a friend I hate"

It's not hard to knock people of your track.

I understand what you’re saying. I used to think if my mother, brother or sil read my posts, they’d recognise me. However, they’re such a bunch of narcissists and my sil has psychopathic tendencies that I don’t think they’d recognise themselves at all. They all see me as the problem being the family scapegoat. Perhaps have a second name for anything really sensitive and use your usual user name for everyday posting.

Tell your mother and sister repeatedly you’re on nethuns now after the nest of vipers chased you away. Spoon feed some awful stories and hope that scares her off.

So just namechange once a week, and then there’s no way of her linking your posts. Unless she knows your username, there’s no way of her figuring out who you are from the hundreds of thousands of random women on here. Anyway, it’s yet another lesson in “do not put your entire life on the internet”. Once it’s out there, it’s public property unfortunately.

There are only a few posters who really value their post count and high visibility.

I think most of us change usernames quite frequently to avoid exactly what you're talking about.

Oh, OK! I got the impression ppl tended to stick with one or maybe two usernames unless it was a particularly sensitive post! Do you not tend to trip yourself up by changing details?
Maybe I put too much detail in to avoid being accused of drip feeding

Gaol if you do trip yourself up it won't matter if when you make your OP you say "CHanging a few minor details to avoid recognition"

Nobody would know which details.

I get stalked on here by my ex. I name change on a semi regular basis and then with my new name consistently alter a few minor details... So if I name change again there won't be any obvious 'link' if that makes sense

There are only a few posters who really value their post count and high visibility.

Exactly, saddos.

Get your old stuff deleted, maybe take an archive if there's any thread you loved or feel you'd like to re-read the advice on.

Just change the odd detail of your posts in ways which won't affect people's replies.

Careful, seen people called troll by other MNers and MNHQ for this.

Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not trolling to change the age of your children or the area you live in. What is considered trolling is claiming to be an expert on dogs when you don’t have one, or grade 1 listed cottages when you don’t live in one.

If your DSis is a sad one-liner type, she'll hate the responses she gets and will flounce pretty quickly.

"No, no,no. I meant Netmums!"

There was a case a few months ago of someone ( regular but had NC ) suspected of trolling because of changing a few details in her posts. I thought it was common knowledge that changing details was frowned upon?

Don’t be ridiculous, it’s not trolling to change the age of your children or the area you live in

Didn't say it was.

I do the same as PP and change some of the details sometimes. Nothing serious more 'my sister's baby' instead of my cousin's baby etc.
You never know who might be on here anyways

In my yet to be found incorrect view. Those geuinely looking for advice will NC for this reason. Those sticking with the same name either lie about their personal situation ornever mention it as their aim is notoriety rather than support.

Those sticking with the same name either lie about their personal situation ornever mention it as their aim is notoriety rather than support.
I never thought about it like that. Tbh, the first few times I came raging onto MN for advice, I didn't even consider changing my name so as to avoid linking. No surprise, but this username is relatively new.

Did do a bit of a double take half an hour ago though (or was it yesterday? maybe last week? ), got a text from DM about a situation which I've posted on in the last few weeks and also mentioned to her this week. Let the stalking commence! (Or maybe I'm just paranoid.. )

There are only a few posters who really value their post count and high visibility.

There may be ‘saddos’ who do this, but there are positives to not name changing. For example, having a half-decent posting history tends to not have ‘troll’ fingers pointed at you if you post something controversial or of a minority voice. Especially if you post about the same thing, doing it under several different names eventually gets people’s backs up. It’s also a community, in real life it would be rather confusing if Jane was Rachel next week, Penny next month, SpongeBob3000 by Christmas...

Anyway, name changing doesn’t disguise you from being recognised, it just hides your history. A relative only has to recognise one situation and it could cause a fallout, and since your sister knows you’ve posted here before, could/would only lead to assumptions of more negative posts. I agree with others - perhaps name change now but from then on in change slight details. Always be vague, never mention specifically where you live, nationality, be general about children’s ages (say in year 7 rather than she’s 11 for example), eventually most details are difficult to distinguish.

Your sister probably won't like it here.

She'll post one thread, get a few robust responses, and run away complaining about bullies.

Always be vague, never mention specifically where you live, nationality, be general about children’s ages (say in year 7 rather than she’s 11 for example), eventually most details are difficult to distinguish

This is good advice.

FWIW I don’t name change because I think that it is nice to get to know particular posters. There are some whose posts I look out for.

It’s also a community

Back in the day, maybe.

I also change minor details (ages, areas, occupations, etc) that don't alter the gist of any posts, but just to be on the safe side I've just namechanged. Thanks for the suggestion everyone.

I can imagine having a similar discussion next year with all the same ppl, just with different usernames

I've been here for 7 ish years and have name changed a couple of times. Most recently because someone in work nearly outed me.

Dsis is one of those types who post random sad one liners on FB when things are a bit shit. Has done for years. More recently she realised that it was getting v negative and possibly ppl weren't as sympathetic as before and maybe found it a bit of a drag.

She may find MN won't take too kindly to sad one liners in search of sympathy, either.

I don't name change because I don't care if anyone recognises me. If i was going to post something personal and possibly offensive/sensitive about someone i know then i may do. It never occurred to me to name change just for the sake of it so i don't look like a 'saddo'. I do however like chat where things are deleted after 3 months. I wish all the boards did that.