To talk to friend about her relationships, or is it none of my business

[Thedriftofstars]

I have a close friend who I have been friends with for years. We meet up often, usually on a weekly basis, as we had DC at similar times and similar age gaps and they enjoy playing together (hers are 5 and 2, mine are 5 and 3)
She split up with their dad when her youngest was a few weeks old. In the two years since then, she has had 5 boyfriends. Within a week of getting together, they have moved into her house, or she has uprooted the kids and moved in with them, has gushed about how they are 'just like a dad', calls them a family, posts things on facebook. about how biology doesn't matter, it's in the heart blah blah blah.
Then without fail after 6 months maximum, but usually after a number of weeks - the relationship ends up abruptly and the kids are disrupted again.
I've tried raising it in the past but she shuts me down with how happy and adjusted her children are.
We met up last week and she was telling about her new man. I sound like a terrible friend but all I thought was ok here we go again.
Now she is all over social media and texting me calling him her soulmate, how he's amazing with her kids. He met her kids two days ago and she is posting pics of him with them and what a fantastic dad he is being and how they have a lovely bond all ready.
I feel so sorry for her children. I feel like they must be so confused. Do I try and talk to her, or just accept this is how she is and distance myself? she has been a close friend for years and I have known her children all their lives, and see them often so as strange as it sounds I feel a degree of responsibility for them and I care a great deal about them.

Gosh can't stand women like this. I wouldn't be able to bite my tongue that's for sure.

I feel your frustration but if you fall out with her, the children risk losing you as a stable influence.
However you should speak up i feel. I doubt she'll listen atm but when this next relationship breaks up she may pay attention.
She seems to place a lot of importance on what fb friends think. Maybe you could start off a conversation by advising her not to go public on social media for at least six months.

It's a difficult one, and not sure how you could phrase it without sounding mean! But, it's not fair on the children, if, every six months, they are introduced to their new 'dad'

Very, very careless and selfish of her trying to play happy families by bringing these 'dads' into her kids' lives only for them to disappear a few months later. Poor kids must be so confused.

I'm not really sure what the answer is tbh. You've tried bringing it up and she isn't interested. But if she is as close a friend as you mention, be absolutely frank with her. She needs to know her stupidity is fucking the kids up even if it isn't outwardly apparent.

Is her XP an involved parent, and would he he aware of/care about this?

Her ex sees the kids on a weekend as far as I'm aware but I have no idea what he thinks of the set up. I feel guilty for reducing any contact with her because of her children, and they really are lovely. I just don't know what to do, I feel so awful for them.

I would try and continue to maintain regular contact with the kids if I was you. They need some consistency in their lives and an understanding that not all relationships are like that? Not sure if you have DP but for them to see on a regular basis what a normal and healthy relationship is like would be very beneficial. I would also let them know you are there if they want to talk about things (without blatantly bringing up subject or putting words in their mouth). She sounds very irresponsible and immature.

I feel you should say something for the kids sake. Perhaps put it all in back and white. She sounds out of control and is probably not aware of it

sorry, but I don't agree with PPs. I think they're all correct in what they say and it must be awful for those children, BUT you've tried mentioning it and she's shut you down. There's your answer. She doesn't want to hear it.

It's not your place.

If you were going to do it, the best time would be when she's newly single, not at the start of a relationship. Sorry. :(

I would agree with PP that the best time to do it is when she is newly single and introuduce it as a maybe next time.....chat.
She’s already started on the same routine with the current partner and is unlikely to back down suddenly so likely to become defensive, feeling that this relationship is different and damage your friendship.
It also depends what kind of friendship you have and whether you feel it would survive a chat like that. I’d also try and find out what’s underneath it; what she is doing isn’t good for her children but it’s coming from a need in her.

Yeh definitely say it when she's single again (which she will be very quickly by the sounds of it) she's less likely to take offence then.