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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to do Elf on the Shelf for my class?

92 replies

Bottomofsmughill · 28/11/2017 19:14

Just looking for your thoughts really... I've bought Elf on the Shelf as I thought my year 4 kids would love finding him each morning. I'm not planning to tell them he's spying on them for Father Christmas though as I don't want to upset them/ be unfair to children of other faiths. My AIBU is will I get parents complaining it ruins EOTS at home/isn't fair on kids/it's too commercial/other complaints I've not considered? I feel a bit like I can't win at the moment so don't want to make a rod for my own back.

OP posts:
steppemum · 28/11/2017 20:39

LaurieMarlow

In the run up to Christmas every year I overhear parents telling their crying kids that they should stop otherwise santa won't bring them presents.
I hear dit last week, child was about 2 and they were doing long drawn out boring shopping in Asda. Poor kid.
I don't think for one minute that they will actually stop giving presents, but I find it ia horrible thing to say to young kids.

MakeMisogynyAHateCrime · 28/11/2017 20:40

Bottom
Two of my DC have really bad anxiety about being naughty and anyone doing naughty things (crap childminder put the fear of God into them), and even then mention of EOTS from other kids last year really panicked them.

A class mascot dressed up and not doing really dangerous/naughty things might work. Things like them making a mess, wouldn't set them off but them doing "dangeous" would panic them.

I know a lot of DC aren't like that, however I do know a lot of kids who get very upset and obsessive about peers "being in trouble".

You sound great OP, very thoughtful and a fun teacher so I'm sure you would strike a balance.

LaurieMarlow · 28/11/2017 20:43

steppemum I agree it's quite horrible, but it's not got anything to do with EOTS the way that most people, including the OP, do it.

Original poster
Bottomofsmughill · 28/11/2017 20:58

Fair enough make - not planning any dangerous escapades but maybe a few 'naughty' things

OP posts:
Valerrie · 29/11/2017 07:50

My class elf sprinkled snow all over the classroom, wrapped all the things on the head teacher's desk, tied up a teacher and ate her lunch and left a video, photocopied his face and bum and left prints hanging all round the dinner hall, swapped the children's fruit for candy canes, stuck gift bows on all their pencil cases etc. A few ideas for you, I'll try and remember the rest.

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 07:56

Those are the sorts of things that would phase my girls. " But were supposed to have fruit. Are we allowed the candy came. Where has the fruit gone."

Tying up a teacher would distress them and they'd probably want to offer her their lunch instead as they'd be worried they wouldn't get any lunch.

Are my children(and me? I'd have been the same at that age) really that weird :( I am very able to see most children would apreciate it.

I do sometimes wonder if they're "different in some way...

Valerrie · 29/11/2017 08:05

Gosh, really? I had a couple of sensitive children and they found it thoroughly hilarious. I did make it clear that we gave Mrs Teacher some lunch and had checked with parents they could have candy canes so there were no issues there.

DressedCrab · 29/11/2017 08:22

YABVVVVVU.

Idiotic American import.

Basecamp21 · 29/11/2017 08:27

Sorry to be a grump but teachers are always going on about how overworked they are??? I have no feelings either way about the elf but would rather our teacher was concentrating on preparing lessons and leave this type of irrelevant fun to families.

No child is deprived because they never see or experience elf on the shelf

geekone · 29/11/2017 08:48

I didn't buy elf on the shelf I bought and elf from Dobbies for £2.50. They will love it.

LaurieMarlow · 29/11/2017 08:58

Valerrie they sound absolutely great. DS would love all that. We're doing it at home this year so I might steal some ideas.

MrsFantastic · 29/11/2017 08:58

It might be OK if it's presented as a bit of fun, but not real. I wouldn't actually complain, but I wouldn't like it if it was presented as truth. Children should be able to believe teachers and the smarter, less gullible, children will know it's not real and wonder why the teacher is talking rubbish.

LaurieMarlow · 29/11/2017 09:04

Jeez, I love the way mumsnetters seem to think 'american' is beyond the pale and reason enough to reject something just because. What lazy thinking.

Does it apply to everything? What about rock n roll, 20th century American art, golden age of Hollywood, Southern BBQ, mid century American theatre.

American cultural imports have enhanced my life no end.

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 09:12

MrsF I think it's the "as real" element my kids struggle with. The make-believe aspect of it. I do worry sometimes whether they have some issues. They are v intelligent. Possibly over think am but are v concerned to get things "right" or if they feel someone is hurt or missing out.

LaurieMarlow · 29/11/2017 09:14

Do they also struggle with santa? Genuine question.

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 09:20

Ish. The little one hasn't had that problem but she believes it to be completely real. The eldest started to get distressed when she thought we were lying to her, about 6/7 so we have encouraged her to "play the game" and she's fine with that.

Both had issues with dressed up characters and were happy if we clarified it was someone in there and then they can go ahead and play and imagine etc .

The eldest in particular will sometimes clarify with me if somethings true or fun and I will always tell her - as long as she knows she can carry on with make believe or not but she feels she has to know.

She has absolute trust in teachers being right and when she was told off for something she didn't do it was the end of the world as it was like her view of the world had collapsed. Similarly for the whole class being kept in at break (but I didn't do x. Why am I being kept in? But I didn't do it...) She doesn't say so at the time but comes home really anxious bless her :(

Valerrie · 29/11/2017 09:22

I'm a huge fan of make believe in teaching. I've always done really engaging lessons involving fairies, dragons, pirates, knights, giant butterflies, elves, Father Christmas, fairy tales etc. Most of those have been presented as "real" to my KS1 and FP children. It has never, ever been a problem and has created very memorable experiences where the children have been so thrilled they've learned and tackled more difficult tasks with gusto.

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 09:23

Mine are fine with it all as long as they known it isn't really real. Then they can play along! It's when someones trying to convince them it's real they struggle.

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 09:24

Or at least they struggle at home later. Not at the time so the teacher would only know if I spoke to them. (Which I have done and certainly my eldest teacher is so v good with her. In year 4 they tend not to actively lie to her though.)

CappuccinoCake · 29/11/2017 09:25

Anyway I'm derailing- my kids are obviously weird:(

Kitsandkids · 29/11/2017 09:29

I would find it difficult if my kids were coming home and asking me if it was real as I wouldn't want to lie to them, so I would prefer if it was introduced as a game.

Last year in Year 4 my eldest did some work about a teddy who'd left school on its own and got lost, sent postcards to school etc. He was absolutely convinced it was real and wouldn't believe me when I said it was just a game. I just thought at his age he shouldn't be thinking that teddies get up and walk around in case any of his classmates laughed at him.

DressedCrab · 29/11/2017 09:35

American cultural imports have enhanced my life no end.

Do tell me about the life enhancement you've had from the elf on a shelf.

Valerrie · 29/11/2017 09:37

I heard about a lesson once, where the teacher set up a war situation and convinced the children they were being evacuated, took them to the train station and everything. I would have been absolutely terrified as a child, I think it depends on the class and the children in it.

I've done a few "shocking" lessons, tearing down a rainforest type things but I knew the children would cope and wouldn't be frightened.

The war one was pushing it though!

Valerrie · 29/11/2017 09:39

DressedCrab - I've done the Elf at home
for 7 years and with my class for 3.

At home, it's brought a new, fun element for the lead up to Christmas and has definitely made DDs experience more magical and memorable. As I've stated above, older children from my classes still remember the elf fondly and it engaged them with literacy and numeracy so enhanced things there too.

Just because you think it's crap, doesn't mean everyone will, particularly children who tend to enjoy fun and silliness.

LaurieMarlow · 29/11/2017 09:53

Do tell me about the life enhancement you've had from the elf on a shelf.

We're doing it for the first time this year. However, from my nephews and nieces I see that EOTS has brought lots of fun, anticipation and magic to their lives. They talk about what the elf might get up to as they go to bed. They bounce out of bed in the morning, full of excitement to see what he's been up to. It makes the run up to christmas more exciting and memorable for them.

I certainly think it will challenge my creativity.

Thanks for asking Wink