Toffeetop

[smalllemur]

My mother & I are very close.

However, whenever I tell her anything about my life it is always brought up in front of her acquaintances, friends or family members I don't care for. As if it gives her something to talk about.

I recently bought and am decorating a house and she has went so far as to discuss prices, plans and financial information with people even she hardly knows!

We had a raging row after I found out and the information came back to me.

I am a very very private person and she knows this and on numerous occasions I have expressed that my life isn't gossip.

I said a few days ago that I won't tell her anything else and she has lost the right. She asked me about numerous plans for the house and I replied I wasn't sure to all of them. She eventually took the huff and hung up.

AIBU?

Yanbu

I don't believe that you are being unreasonable. You have asked her, more than once not to discuss you / your life with certain people. Of course 'you' will come up in conversation as her daughter, but she should be capable of keeping the conversation generic, if she is asked a detailed 'how much did that cost' question, she should be able to answer, 'oh I'm not sure' or some other way of avoiding that question.

So far she has has been unable to do that, so you have had to find another way - not telling her the info. She can't relay information she doesn't have. In my opinion you are perfectly correct to have done what you have. I'd also be furious that she hung up.

My mum is like this when my dad was alive- a bloody blabber mouth. When I was expecting dc1 she told everyone I couldn’t come to a family party due to ‘hormone issues’. I’d told them I was working (I was actually sitting near a toilet ready to heave). Stupid cow. No advice sorry she doesn’t see anyone now she’s so wrapped up in her new man.

Oh and my mum would have hung up too or cried because she was ‘sad that I was so angry with her’

YANBU. Your mother however is being very disrespectful of you and your wishes. To be honest, if it was me I wouldn't be telling her anything that I didn't want to be public knowledge.

Why is the thread title Toffeetop?

My mum does this but i think it is because she is proud of me (and my family) and likes to tell people about us. However it doesn't really bother me and it obviously bothers you. Just do as you are doing and share a lot less with her. I keep things from my DM if i don't want her to share them.

Btw what is Toffeetop all about?

@snobblybobbly @blueskyinmarch I had a title relevant to the thread but, it hasn't stuck? :/

Just lie outrageously.
'How much did your new house cost?'
"Eleventy billion pounds"
'Seriously how much was it?'
"£77 and a box of freddos"

She can't repeat things like that without sounding batshit crazy. And she can't complain you're not talking to her! Win/win.