Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really angry, say something or over reacting?

245 replies

aawcmon · 27/11/2017 22:34

My DD has just started high school and is loving it so far. She has asthma which is well managed, but she always carries her blue inhaler just in case of emergencies. Today, she had a really bad attack for the 1st time in years. I got a phone call from school office saying can you come and collect your daughter, she's feeling a bit breathless. I arrive at school within 20 mins and was shocked to see the state she was in. She was struggling for breath and was crying. She didn't have any adults sitting with her, only her friend from class. Reception staff couldn't have been less interested if they'd tried, I received no background info to what could have triggered the attack. DD had taken her blue inhaler multiple times, but it did not help.... DD was in such a state, I phoned doctor's office who advised me to take her to A&E straight away. We ended up being in hospital most of the day on nebulisers, steroids, x-rays, and she will need on going checks this week as her lung capacity is still not ideal. I am so angry with the school, it was obvious just by looking at her that she was in distress and to leave her by herself, she was panicking and exacerbating the issue. Should I bring this up with school or leave it (DD doesn't want me to do anything as she's scared teachers won't like her as much if I complain)

OP posts:
EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 28/11/2017 10:12

How's your DD today? Flowers

JonSnowsWife · 28/11/2017 10:12

Loislovesstewie oh that's so silly bless your poor DC. We had a classmate throughout secondary school who had the type where they always needed something sugary nearby.

None of us got jealous or thought it was unfair. We knew exactly why they needed it and we never treated the child any differently.

Bananamanfan · 28/11/2017 10:13

Did you tell the hospital about the school? They may have thought it appropriate to raise a safeguarding alert themselves. I think going down the safeguarding route is the right option, given what you've said about how they treated yoyr dd, including the not being able to report directly to the HT Hmm

Original poster
aawcmon · 28/11/2017 10:15

Phoned school, they tried to contact head but couldn't reach them, said they'll phone me back shortly. I spoke further to DD, she told me there's no nurse or first aider that she knows of, in medical situations, they're told to go to school office, which is what she did. I had tried to phone her after receiving initial call from office, and she did have her phone with her. Unfortunately, in her panic, she dropped it and now the screen won't work, now have to pay for fixing or replacing. Small in the grand scheme of things but bloody typical.

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 28/11/2017 10:21

aawcmon so pleased your DD is recovering Flowers After speaking to Head do make sure you write a detailed email to follow it up (I am just following up today's verbal conversation) and mention everything that happened and what should have happened in line with DDs care plan etc. Ask them what safeguarding training they will now be undertaking and make sure Chair of Governor's is copied in! You can be constructive but you also need to be incredibly straight about what they need to do in future!

Mia1415 · 28/11/2017 10:25

I'm fuming on your behalf! My DS has asthma and in this situation the school should have been calling for an ambulance and ringing you to tell you. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Please complain and loudly. This is appalling.

I hope you and your DD are Ok. Hugs.

JonSnowsWife · 28/11/2017 10:29

they tried to contact head but couldn't reach them, said they'll phone me back shortly.

Ring back again and ask where you can find their safeguarding policy as you have a few concerns over how your DD was handled yesterday.

Guarantee you the unattainable head will be suddenly available by the end of the day.

Elendon · 28/11/2017 10:35

Write an email to the school. Outline the events as you have described them. You can do this after you speak to the HT and please do not be fobbed off by over the phone assurances.

CC to safeguarding team and Head of Year

When they phone you back ask the HT who these people are and make it clear that you will be writing a letter. Get everything down in writing. Is my advice.

Elendon · 28/11/2017 10:36

If you write to them, they have to respond in kind.

iMatter · 28/11/2017 10:39

I really hope you get this sorted OP.

I'm shocked at the treatment your dd received and I feel particularly uncomfortable at the people who work in reception ignoring a young girl who is struggling to breathe.

I'm sure they were busy but where was their compassion?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/11/2017 10:47

This is utterly appalling and I'm fuming on your behalf OP.

They put your DD in serious danger.

It is impossible that there is no-one onsite with first aid training - or illegal at best. Be calm and polite when talking to the Head but do NOT take no for answer. And don't stop there. Talk to the governors. Talk to the local press if you have to. Don't let your DD (or another child) be put at such serious risk of a fatal asthma attack.

Just shocking.

Elendon · 28/11/2017 10:54

Talk to the governors. Talk to the local press if you have to. Don't let your DD (or another child) be put at such serious risk of a fatal asthma attack.

I think that's too much of an ask for the OP at this time. Her concern is the incident at this moment and she is aware that her daughter has concerns that her teachers might treat her differently.

OP please do not go overboard. Calm and collected. Give them time to respond. Simply put this is a flag up incident and the school should respond to educate it's employers on this.

Layla8 · 28/11/2017 10:56

I’m furious on your behalf . They should have called an ambulance FFS. I really cannot fathom how this happened, or how the staff could be so uncaring and ignorant . Please let us know how this progresses. Defininately get the school nurse involved . Hope all is well now. X

BrioAmio · 28/11/2017 10:56

I can remember my PE teacher telling me, mid asthma attack, to run back to the changing room and get my inhailer. Luckily my best friend took one look at me and sprinted off to get it, ignoring the teacher. I don’t understand why not being able to breathe isn’t taken more seriously, it’s such a scary feeling.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 28/11/2017 10:57

Don't worry Elendon the OP strikes me as the calm and measured type.

There must be first aiders, but it doesn't sound like they are being used effectively.

Jackiebrambles · 28/11/2017 11:00

Goodness me, I'm so shocked that a school with a pupil with asthma who was struggling to breathe (with an inhaler that wasn't helping) just didn't call 999.

Good god!!

Your poor daughter. Hope she's feeling better now.

missperegrinespeculiar · 28/11/2017 11:03

Really awful! your poor DD! Complain loudly!

My DS1 school are also dreadful, he is very allergic (anaphylactic) to peanuts, the school has a total ban on nuts, but we don't trust it, so he has been taught to always ask before eating anything.

During a school fair he asked about a particular cake, was reassured by the teacher it was fine (the teacher did not check with the parent that had brought the cake in). It was not, he had a reaction, the teachers did not notice, left him in class for half an hour as he got dizzier and dizzier and struggled for breath, they finally called us to say he might be developing a cold and can we pick him up...

We are lucky the reaction wasn't too strong, and he recovered, but to think they let him eat the cake after he checked and then did not notice a severe allergic reaction, I still get angry a year later!

Elendon · 28/11/2017 11:03

Don't let your DD (or another child) be put at such serious risk of a fatal asthma attack.

I was really responding to this Increasinglymiddleaged

Because it's not up to the OP to ensure this. It's up to the school.

I agree that the OP is calm and collected about this.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/11/2017 11:06

Because it's not up to the OP to ensure this. It's up to the school.

I know! That's why the OP needs to complain to the school and make sure they have a plan in place if it happens again. Confused

Elendon · 28/11/2017 11:10

The school needs to make sure the plan is in place.

Hope that is clear!

endofthelinefinally · 28/11/2017 11:12

Schools vary so much with their procedures IME.
My child suffered a serious head injury at school and not only did nobody inform me, they didn't bother to look into how it happened or provide any first aid.
Child was off school for 3 months with severe concussion.
HT and teacher concerned lied about the incident.

Hulababy · 28/11/2017 11:12

BathshebaKnickerStickers Tue 28-Nov-17 07:31:04
I'm a first aider in school. I'm also a TA....I'd be sent back to class to continue my classroom work rather than be sitting with a child...

Which is fine IF there is another trained adult to sit and actually supervise. Not just left on their own or with another child. In such a situation I couldn't walk away and leave. I would feel it was too risky and couldn't forgive myself if something awful happened. Im more than happy to stand my ground in that kind of situation.
And actually as someone also FA trained, in that situation - I'd have been on the phone getting professional medical advice via the 999 call room.

bunbunny · 28/11/2017 11:17

I would also be tempted to report the school to OFSTED and speak to the education welfare officer at the council (no idea what their official title is) to explain how the school is putting the lives of asthmatic children at risk and they don't seem to care.

Also would this come under the remit of the Health and Safety folk - not sure as your dd obviously isn't a worker but hopefully there should be some sort of official body that can come in from outside to give them a bollocking and then help them get their act together so this doesn't happen again. Maybe ask your MP?

From an everyday point of view - could you get your dd a laminated card to carry round, credit card sized, one for her school bag, one for her pocket, one with inhaler, one in PE kit, a copy on the first screen of her phone, a picture of one on her instagram and Facebook etc accounts, and any other places she might be able to stash them. They could have simple instructions on what to do and when to ramp up the puffs and when to call you and/or an ambulance.

Firstly it will mean if she has another attack she will be able to hand one to whoever is helping her and they will know what to do but it also shows it's serious not just a kid wheezing a bit or trying to get out of lessons.

If her friends know about the cards and when they're needed it will give them confidence to help your dd if she can't do it herself - they will know to get the card from her pencil case and brandish it at the teachers and receptionists, which is much easier than having to work out what to say or make a judgement about her condition themsemselves.

Still shocked by how badly they have handled this. Probably doesn't help that you're ringing up in part to complain about the receptionists and they're the ones trying to track down the head - if they didn't think it was serious yesterday chances are they'll not be bothered today!

Newinthegame16 · 28/11/2017 11:19

I work in a school and our protocol means a child with any illness especially a breathing difficulty is seen by a member of staff who is first aid trained and they would never be made to make their own way to the school office especially if walking could exasperate the situation. That member of staff would stay and continue to assess the situation and then greet the parent/carer to pass over relevant info. The school has failed major safeguarding procedures

Witsender · 28/11/2017 11:22

Regardless of common sense and protocol, where is their compassion? She was a scared and unwell child.