To decide today no nursery tomorrow

[wishfortime]

My DD is 18months and goes to nursery full time. She has had her fair share of days off sick recently (and DH and I days off work). Nursery called to say she had a raised temp of 38 (again) and could they give calpol? She did have a runny nose this morning but was fine otherwise. Now I’ve picked her up I can tell she isn’t her usual self - probably nothing serious but a mild temp and cold.

When I left work and let my boss know I probably won’t be in tomorrow. It’s my turn since my DH took a day off last week when dd wasn’t well enough to go in. Boss raised her eyebrows and like ‘this is becoming quite regular, how do you know she won’t be fine in the morning?’. I don’t but I was just giving a heads up. Should I have waited and hoped DD is fine tomorrow before saying anything?

I think your boss has a point - by saying you won't be in tomorrow, it sounds like you've already decided your DD will be ill/you won't come in. Young DC do often bounce back from illnesses quickly.

Fine to give him a heads up but better do say something along the lines of "I hope that DD will be better tomorrow, but just to let you know that if she isn't, I will have to take the day off".

I think in "nice normal world" it's good to give your boss a heads up that you may not be in or may be working from home.

Unfortunately, in the real world we're all meant to struggle in and only decide at the very last minute otherwise we're seen as shirkers who are just pulling a sicky.

Are you expecting to be paid for these days off?

Well, I think your boss has a point. Wait and see. Little ones can be up and down quite a bit. She might well be better tomorrow - or of course she might not - but your Nursery sound like they're understanding enough, and it does sound like both you and dh have had a lot of days off.
Yes it is difficult when your little one is under the weather, but it is also difficult managing teams that take a lot of time off.
I'd make the call in the morning
Does depend on your jobs of course - is there work you can be doing from home when you are off ?

I think you were being responsible and helpful. Of course you now know not to do so in future :)

There should be HR document to help. I'd imagine you'd be allowed emergency care leave at short notice, and yes paid if it's your holiday allowance.

YANBU to warn her you may be off but on a few occasions I have been certain DC will be too ill the next day but they have woken up cheery and well.

Fine to give him a heads up but better do say something along the lines of "I hope that DD will be better tomorrow, but just to let you know that if she isn't, I will have to take the day off

Sorry I wasn’t clear in my OP, this is basically what I did say. “I hope my daughter is well enough to go to nursery tomorrow, if not the unfortunately I won’t be able to come in - I will so as much as I can from home though”
Is basically what I said and I have took a laptop from the IT pool, but I had to give the heads up I was doing so. She wasn’t impressed as I’ve done it a lot recently

Does she just not have children? Or does she expect you to send her to nursery while sick?

It’s discretionary whether it’s paid or not. I basically need to let them know if how many hours I’ve actually been able to work from home, or make up time in evening and they decide if to pay. Usually it’s agreed half day pay/half day unpaid if I’ve been able to answer a few calls and emails whilst caring for DD

I think YABU and had I been your boss would have raised my eyebrows too. Your child could be well enough for nursery tomorrow.

Even if the day off is unpaid, it can cause havoc with a team's schedule.

m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1362

ACAS is useful for information for both employees and employers.

It’s a bit frustrating as if I wanted to take a laptop I have to let my boss know. If I didn’t borrow the laptop and DD has a high temp in the morning then I won’t be able to WFH, and it would be no work at all. I was trying to plan ahead as there is a good chance she might be poorly, but think I’ve shot myself in the foot with my boss. If DD is fine tomorrow then she’d be none the wiser.

I wouldn't keep her off nursery for a standard cold, she will get them all the time! Most nurseries are fine with them coming in with a cold. Also if you take too much time off work they will probably get really fed up with it and may mean they are less flexible when she gets things like sickness bugs, chicken pox etc

Would you send her to nursery with a mild temp? And how mild is mild? For dd’s nursery, the deciding factor seems to be a temp, and unfortunately with my DD, when she gets a mild cold her temp seems to raise and stay for a few days. I could give calpol in the morning but it will just spike later in the day. Nursery will only give one dose of calpol to control a temp, then I would be called away from work (again angering boss)

A mild temp and a cold plus a night sleep. I think you can go to work and she can go to nursery unless she gets worse.

I'd send them in with a cold tbh. Most kids have a cold. But then again I'm a single mum and don't get paid for days off, if I took a day off for every runny nose my son has I wouldn't be able to make ends meet. I think give Calpol in the morning then if she gets worse they can call you. Better to show your face imo, shows your boss you've tried. Also agree with pp you'll want/need the flexibility more for sickness bugs and chicken pox etc.

What you said was fine plus you are doing work from home.

When my eldest had a cold he would spike temps of 39+ with no warning. We would have to alternate Calpol and nurofen just to keep it from going up further. No way could he have gone to nursery.

I dont know what people expect you to do with ill kids if you have nobody to look after them.

Willow2017 - my dd is the same with temperature, it can spike to 39 plus even if she is fine with jus Tamils cold symptoms otherwise. I know she might be fine in the morning, but in my experience her illnesses (at least once a month for the past year) come with a high temp for a day or so