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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised at my neighbours bitter attitude?

35 replies

Donbean · 18/04/2007 19:19

We were very good friends, in and out of each others houses, kids played lovely.
Then she began to be a bit distant, thought it was depression.
Turns out she was fuming about an extension we have built.
Never said any thing for months, was just off with me, then suddenly came out with it.
I appologised, and kind of kept out of the way of her as she was obviously very emotional about it.
Didnt see her for ages, avoided her, and now its at the point where she totally blanks me and doesnt know if she can ever bring herself to talk to me again!
She has tried to sell up, but her house needed allot soing to it so didnt get offers.
Has done a bit of work and is now putting it back on the market.
I see her in the palyground and she is embarrasingly rude tbh.

I said a cheerful "hi" to her this morning and she just looked in my eyes...then away in a huffy way.

I cant be bothered with it any more...what do you think?

OP posts:
LadyMacbeth · 18/04/2007 19:43

Well doesn't sound like you're being inreasonable. It's a shame she couldn't be more upfront with you from the start.

LadyMacbeth · 18/04/2007 19:44

unreasonable even.

Original poster
Donbean · 18/04/2007 19:46

Luandry, i did go to her on several occasions and tell her.
We did this with neighbours either side of us, i even took the plans with me.....Didt have any obligation to do this at all, but didnt want bad feeling.

OP posts:
deepinlaundry · 18/04/2007 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Donbean · 18/04/2007 19:55

She is isnt she!
It really is her with the problem not me, just hope that she sells up soon.

OP posts:
Wallerbies · 18/04/2007 20:03

Our neibours used to smoke under our nursery window in the heatwave last year, so we couldn't us the room. They told us they would not move. She was a ignorant bitch with huge chip on shoulder and we stopped talking to them that night sold the house and are much happier now bigger house and garden and pass her sitting at the bus stop kids in tow - KARMA!

Blondilocks · 18/04/2007 20:10

Tell her that if she was that bothered she should have objected. The council usually put up notices of planning as far as I'm aware anyway.

Maybe she's just jealous now?

Hopefully you'll get a nicer neighbour.

snowleopard · 18/04/2007 20:16

You could approach her nicely and (though it IS her problem) apologise and say you did consult her and you never meant to upset her so much and what is it she finds so bad about it - and is there anything you could do to make it better (eg paint it, trailing plants, whatever). IMO this might make her back down. At some level this kind of thing can piss people off just becasue it pisses them off - they don't really know why, they may just be subconsciously jealous or bitter about you just doing it without feeling they had a say. If they feel listened to and cared for that's often all they need. I might be talking shite but I think it's worth a go.

If she wants to move though, if she has any sense she'll be saying you're a great neighbour...

powder28 · 18/04/2007 20:29

Ignore the stupid bint

newgirl · 20/04/2007 15:08

to take the other view ... even if she was ok with the extension in theory, the disruption, noise, dust etc can be a bit more than you bargain for, so maybe she got grumpy about the whole thing over time - maybe she thinks you have stopped being friendly now youve got your work done? who knows?

i reckon it takes ages to move so i'd try and smooth things over like snowleopard says - you used to really like her, so she can't be all bad?!

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