Partner not invited to meal

[EffEffEss]

Hi people of Mumsnet. This is more of a WWYD.

I'm part of a hobby group. One member has suggested that we get together for a pre-Christmas meal at their house. As people have responded to say yes, the host has invited their partners too. However, they didn't ask whether I'd be bringing my partner. I don't know whether it's assumed that I would be, but the host didn't check.

Would IBU or rude to message them privately and ask whether my partner is invited? The host knows all of the partners and I'm pretty sure mine has not done anything to offend. Equally it could be quite a big meal to cater for if all partners come, so I realise that they might want to limit numbers. But I'm not really keen to go if some of the partners are invited and others aren't. WWYD?

Ok, got it. I'm determined to be offended, high maintenance and 'a piece of work' for being a bit upset and humiliated about having to check with a friend whether the terms of my invitation are the same as everyone else's

Yep. Wtf could possibly be humiliating about checking if your partner is invited too?
Some people are determined to find offence.

How long have you been together?
I’m nearly 20 years in and wouldn’t be chasing a partner invitation

I think people are being very unfair on the OP here... what's everyones problem on here atm?!

Or is your partner a dick, and you are so desperate not to be single that you are trying to get everyone to accept him so you don't have to acknowledge what a dick he is?

Woah, where did that come from? What a horrible comment. OP I think you're over thinking this. Perhaps the invitation was deliberately vague to ensure everyone felt welcome, whether they have a partner or not

Because OP was so disproportionately horrified at the mere suggestion that her partner might not be invited. People who are dating dicks because better a shit relationship than (screeeeeeeam) being single are often frantic for validation of the ghastly relationship by other people, and freak out when they don't get it.

Are we talking gilt edge written invitations with silver service dining here or someone saying 7.30 on Tuesday around mine for a pot-roast? Bring your partner if you want?

Reanimated, you’ve got an absolute fucking cheek.

if i was hosting I would delighted to meet your partner and for him to come. if he couldn't manage I would also be happy for you to come without him.

It doesn't sound like partner is unwelcome sounds like a minor miscommunication please don't worry about it.

I don't think it's totally out there to say you appear to be massively over-reacting, here is an example of a situation when people over-react like this, is this similar to your situation?

YABU to feel humiliated to have to clarify and invite and for the host's response of 'yes' ruining for you...

I'm not trying to give you a hard time but you are absolutely being too sensitive about all of this

So what is behind all this, OP? Are you just one of those incredibly touchy people who craps herself every time someone doesn't appear to be prioritizing you, your relationship, your feelings and wishes over everyone and everything else?

Or maybe OP lacks social confidence and would benefit from reassurance and kind words?

I don't think confidence is something she is lacking. Rather has it in abundance.