To usurp secret Santa?

[Laserbird16]

My lovely mothers group are getting together to have a Christmas party this weekend. A message went up this afternoon about doing secret Santa for the children followed by a text with the baby's name we're to buy for. I kind of feel bad in that I feel DD has all she needs, perhaps too much! And the other kids are also really want for nothing. They won't notice if they don't get a present - the oldest is 16 months. Is it AIBU to suggest a donation to a charity instead?the mum who has organised is going to a lot of effort and it would be nice to make her happy but I don't really need anything for DD. what should I do?

I would go with it this year and address it earlier next year before the plans are made.

If they're that young they won't notice. You could suggest that you do a secret Santa for the mum's instead.

You just do the secret santa as a bit of fun and get something little.

Too late now really, if it's all organised

Yanbu to suggest charity donations for next year

www.thethriftystork.co.uk/index.php/leggings/blade-rose-red-gingerbread-leggings something like this maybe?

Suck it up this year

Yabu. Don't be the fun sponge of the group.

I've just organised this for my mum's group Christmas party and would have been totally deflated if someone had said this. Organise the party next year yourself and then make this suggestion!

It's not really about the babies is it? I mean it's a present for them but it's for the mums enjoyment isn't it?

It's far too late to back out on it for this year. Maybe make your charity suggestion much earlier next year and see what people say.

If you hate 'stuff' that much you could always (discretely) donate your baby's present to charity after the party.

Will have and get myself down the shops. I'll make my own charity donation to salve my guilty conscience!

You can't change the plans once they're made. You will be a joy sponge (using that!). Yes, some people would be relieved, but it would be a really mean thing to do to the person who set it up just because you don't want one small extra item.

I've just had to face this sort of one-upmanship with our own office Christmas plans, because even though everyone was happy to leave it to me to sort, they now think they know better (and as they are trying to turn two long free lunches into one when people have already have been told about it, they definitely don't). The same person actually cancelled early leaving on the last day before Christmas 20m before we were due to go. Everyone spent the last hour thoroughly pissed off and hardly working because they'd planned their time already.

If you're really that bothered give the secret santa gift to a charity shop. But I wouldn't spoil what is actually quite a sweet idea. Ask your relatives to donate a goat or similar on your D's behalf and don't do santa for your little one either. That would make more impact.

Well it’s already all planned for this year now so I think you just go along with it. I think it’s actually a sweet idea!

It’s just another small gift and once your dd outgrows it you can always pass on to a charity shop for another child to enjoy

As it's all organised this year I'd leave it as it is. If I was the organiser I'd be a bit upset if I got told after I'd organised everything.
If you don't want to do it next year then let your feelings be known earlier.

I agree that it's too late for this year.

With my Mums' group every year we've each brought a wrapped book and had a kind of lucky dip, relatively stress free and you can never have too many books!